3. If you were “hooked” on a man, you may have a problem.

Hooked is junkie language. It’s what addicts say when they don’t just want a hit, they need it. They may even do desperate things – things no ordinary person would do – to get it.

You NEVER want to be in a position like that with a man. Want a man, but don’t need him. Because that puts you in the worst possible position for a relationship – you’ll either both be addicts of some kind (your addiction will be more of an emotional one), or the relationship will be wildly unbalanced and he’ll simply leave you whenever someone new catches his fancy.

 

4. Nobody ATTRACTS the wrong kind of men, you ACCEPT them.

We attract all kinds, but we choose who to be with. Again, you’re looking at this as if it’s all happening TO you, as if you don’t have any control over it. That’s Junkie Brain, and that’s not good for you.

And believe me, not all the good guys are goofy-looking nerds (although some are!). Your Man-Picker is just off kilter. Don’t worry, sugar. We’re gonna fix that in a sec.

 

5. Why do you choose or accept the wrong men?

In a nutshell, because:

You haven’t yet figured out what went wrong AND right in previous relationships
You haven’t taken time to work on your own issues (communication, self-esteem, etc.)
You haven’t taken control of your own life. Imma say it again: you GET to be in control: let’s clink margarita glasses! Because that’s the best part of all of this!
And before you protest, take a good long swig of that drink. Bottoms up! Because I already know what you’re going to say (It’s partly that I’m psychic, partly the margarita ;-))…

 

Here’s what I know about you:

You’re exhausted, because you’re doing the work of (at least!) two people. You are working your job and raising your kids and paying the bills and mowing the lawn, etc. with NO help. When TWO parents are working and raising kids it’s exhausting, but it’s even worse for you.

So you gotta figure out a way to do what the flight attendant says: get your own oxygen mask on first…

 

Here’s my advice…

It’s super simple to say, a little harder to do, but I PROMISE it will work if you do it:

Take a break from dating. Long enough to…

Get help with the kids! (Neighbor, family, carpools, sitter, whatever it takes)

Sit down with a trusted girlfriend, aunt, or other emotionally healthy mentor and sort through and deal with some of your old baggage. Figure out what went wrong and right in the past relationships. Make it a regular date until you get back on track.

Rest, heal, find ways to refresh your spirit. Sorry if that sounds woo-woo. I hope you know what I mean.

Try again. Date! Date lots of different men. Keep it light, until one of those guys shows you he’s the man for you.

And choose wisely, because you deserve the very best! Don’t wait for perfection, but also don’t choose on the spur of the moment or because of “chemistry.” Use your head as well as your heart.

I know you can do this – you are a powerful woman, doing her best to raise great kids, trying to find her dream and live it. I know you’d like to share your future with a wonderful man who cherishes you and wouldn’t dream of betraying your trust. You CAN have that! You really can.

Now, we’ve finished the pitcher of margaritas. I think we should take a nap in the shade while the waves sigh and whisper and sing to us.

My very best to you, Gorgeous.

Claire

About Claire: 

Claire is the author of the amazing best-selling online program “Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever.”

She blogs at Ask Claire Casey and devotes her writing to helping you attract the kind of man who will treasure and protect your heart like the rare and beautiful gem it is. You can take Claire’s Love Number Quiz (it’s free) and make this YOUR year for love! 

Source: Digital Romance, Inc.