Do You Value Yourself Enough To Shut Him Down?

by Claire Casey

do you value yourself enough


When you value the person you are, you treat yourself well, and refuse to let others treat you in ways that deny your own dreams.

When you value yourself, you will…

  • Treat yourself like your own best friend.
  • Understand life messiness and failures as ordinary learning opportunities.
  • Practice self-mindfulness – check in with your feelings, desires, and goals every day


(And it’s a big but, haha.)

What about when you’re immersed in the excitement and drama of a new relationship? In the heady fizz of a fresh attraction, do you lose sight of what you really want? Or are you able to value yourself enough that you don’t compromise your dreams?

“Hi Claire,

I am currently working through Capture his Heart. It is so helpful, everyone needs to do it! I need some straight talking advice please. I worked with this guy for years (no attraction and l thought he was a bit of a player) but I had this dream about him a year ago and decided to tell him. I knew he was single so I thought why not?

Sure enough he loved the idea of me now liking him. We sent a few cheeky emails and spent a few nights together, but I had feelings and he wasn’t sharing anything so I called it a day.

Then he said he had something to tell me, that he shared a car with his ex and they hang out sometimes. I said maybe they should consider getting back together if they still shared their time and left it at that. He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious but he liked me and if two single people wanted to meet now and again to let him know. Then he moved back in with his ex out of convenience (!) but still wanted my attention!

I’ve told him we’re not really friends but he keeps sending texts. I said if he ever wants to share or be honest I’m happy to chat but otherwise don’t contact me.

Have I done the right thing? I just can’t bear the thought of being some girl he texts when he is bored!

Any help greatly appreciated… Love Deirdre”

Dierdre, you are BRILLIANT. I love it when women email me and they have figured it out already!

Here’s why I think you’re right on target here, because I know there are other women who have been in the same situation…