I won’t be second fiddle.
Lip Service question – I won’t be second fiddle. Please help out our friend by leaving us your thoughts.
I am currently in a unique situation. I’ve met a woman whose heart I connected with instantly several months ago. Our connection is evident in that we feel each other constantly. Have been together intimately several times and it goes beyond just the physical. Very spiritual in nature. We are opposite gender persons/mirrors of each other. Totally amazing experience. She is one of the sweetest, loveliest and loving women I’ve met, let alone had the privilege to be involved with. I’m definitely in love with her. But there are complications in her life that have forced me to reconsider the wisdom of staying involved with her at this time.
She is currently separated and going through the process of a divorce. I’ve always told myself that I wouldn’t consider being with someone who wasn’t at least a year beyond a finalized divorce, yet I compromised this initially because of our intense connection, and I held out hope for us to ultimately be together. Love conquers all, right?! The other complication is that there is another person she is involved with (long distance) who is the catalyst for her leaving her husband in the first place. I’m here as a local, he is overseas. I held out hope that I could be the “winner” of her heart and logically she would choose me because I’m here. Well, that hasn’t been the case.
She’s honest with me about everything and told me she wants to meet with him one more time this summer to see if he is “the one” . She has been an amazing, beautiful participant in our relationship and I believe she truly loves me, but is feeling guilty about a lot of things in her life, about hurting other people she loves including me. She’s extremely confused about her future. All of this has forced me to question my heart’s decision-making ability since I can’t really trust her based on her past and current history with the other men in her life. It’s crushing me, but I had to end things with her recently. I felt like I had to honor myself enough to not be second fiddle to anyone in a relationship. I like myself enough to feel I deserve to be the priority, and I am certainly not that with her right now. This is the first time in my life where I’ve ended a relationship with someone I’ve wanted to be with SO badly.
Is this the right decision? Should have I just have been patient with her and clung to hope? My other question is, do I still hold out hope for her to clear up the other situations in her life? Whether that takes several months…or even several years? I consider her a soul mate, and I would honestly wait for however long it takes even if I know there are no guarantees. Feeling a crushing loss at the moment, but at least I have my dignity. Don’t really want to let her go, though. Any advice someone could offer would be most appreciated!