Should You Be Waiting For Him?

by Claire Casey

Yes, most of the online advice says NEVER wait on a man. But have you ever felt such a simple answer is a bit too dismissive?

Have you wondered if there wasn’t some more information that might be helpful to you, hidden away inside the question…

“How do I know how long to wait?”

should you be waiting for him?

Life often isn’t black and white. Sometimes there are gray areas when it comes to knowing whether or not – or exactly how long – to wait for a man.

Because sometimes he’s got stuff going on, right? Maybe some very difficult stuff. The death of a family member, a critical illness, a major move or job change. That sort of thing can wreak havok with your relationships, not to mention your state of mind and emotional health.

So it’s a legitimate question, and you need to know how to answer it. How long should you wait?

Fortunately, there’s a simple and quick way to get at the answer – and no, it’s not a “one size/answer fits all” thing; it’s a way to find the answer that’s right for YOU, in whatever situation you might find yourself in…

Hi Claire,

My boyfriend of almost a year recently lost his father and step-father within a month of each other. It’s been very hard for him and he has been very distant. I have been very supportive and have been giving him space to deal with things.

He sent me a text this morning and said that he’s really sorry but he needs to be alone and can’t go out anymore. He would still like to be friends. I told him all of that was fine and thanked him for the text, etc.

Do you think we might get back together after all this? I’m guessing the answer is no because maybe this is was a good opportunity for him to realize that we weren’t compatible as a couple but I don’t know.

To be honest I was waiting for him to dump me a couple months ago ( I was very insecure about myself for a little bit) but then things seemed good again until all the funerals started.

How do you know if you should be waiting around and for how long?

~ Karen

Hi, Karen – thank you for writing. Several things about your letter jump out at me, but I want to begin by answering the biggest question first, because it’s such a powerful one. Far too many advice-givers online (and offline) dismiss this kind of question out of hand, and just say “never wait on a man.”

While that’s kind of an easy answer, there’s also another way to get at it that may be more helpful, especially given your particular circumstances and what’s going on with your guy.

The #1 Surefire Way to Know How Long to Wait on a Man

How Long Should You Wait for a Guy?So many women are looking very intently at the men they are dating – watching what HE’s doing, wondering what HE’s thinking, considering what HE wants, feels, and needs. That’s legit. But it’s also only half of the equation.

Karen, I do NOT want to trivialize the very important and life-changing troubles your boyfriend is going through, but here’s a little story that will remind you of something you aren’t thinking about right now…

Sarah was enjoying dinner at a lovely restaurant, and at the end of the meal, she ordered her very favorite end-of-meal treat: an Irish Coffee.

The waiter brought her a thick white mug, steaming and filled to the brim. She breathed in the aroma and sighed happily. Then she took a sip. It was a delicious, fine roast of coffee, thick with real cream and even a hint of brown sugar.

What was missing was the whiskey!

Sarah quickly caught the eye of the waiter and explained the oversight. He apologized profusely, retrieved the mug, and quickly brought her back the drink she had ordered, this time with all the ingredients she loved so much.

Happy ending, right?

Now every time you order an Irish Coffee, I hope you’ll think of this:

The way to answer the question “How do I know when and how long to wait on a man?” is to clearly know what YOU want.

I’ll say that again, in case you were distracted by the Irish Coffee… 🙂

The way to know when and how long to wait on a man – no matter what is going on in HIS life – is to know what YOU want, and (this is important, too) how long you’re willing to wait to get it.

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