Should You Still Go After “The One That Got Away”?
It doesn’t matter how old you are. If you’ve been in the dating game for at least a few years, everyone has: The One That Got Away.
Was it a relationship that ended because you were just too young, too career-oriented, or didn’t realize what you had? Or perhaps distance kept you apart, or you met this person while you were still dating someone else. Maybe you only met once and had a sole night of sparks and passion and perfect chemistry … but then you never saw them again.
No matter what exactly happened, it’s a classic case of lost romance, and it can keep you lying awake in bed at night … trying to figure out if this person was a figment of your imagination … or the person you were truly meant to be with.
If you are actually considering this move—to go after him or her, track them down, and inevitably confess your love—you’ve got some things to consider before you make the leap. These tips will help you make this big decision … or decide not to.
First, What Do You Know?
Before you head out to get this guy: what are the facts? How did you meet? How long did you know him? What is he really like? Does he have a sordid past, a solid job, a home? Is he dating someone else? Do you still talk?
It’s important to sit down and assess the answers to these questions, because if you don’t, you could be heading into something you’re not prepared for. We often have a fantasy in our minds about “the one who got away.” Deciding to go after this person is a huge decision, and if it’s going to be just chasing a fantasy, you might want to take a step back and realize you’re better off moving on.
On the other hand, if you come to the same longing conclusion … that this person is The One … doing something about it may be the riskiest and most rewarding thing you’ll ever do.
Don’t Do Your (Current) Partner Wrong
Another important tip to remember is not to do your current partner wrong. If you are single, don’t worry about this piece of advice, but if you are seeing someone right now (even if it’s not extremely serious), you need to keep their feelings in mind.
Just the fact that you are thinking about this person who got away in your past should be a red flag that maybe the relationship you’re in right now is not the right one for you. So you might want to part ways regardless of what you do. That isn’t to say that our minds won’t just wander sometimes and later, we can realize we need to come back to the present and be thankful and grateful for what we have right in front of us. As the song says, “love the one you’re with.”
But … again, if you know that this person from your past is truly the one for you, you need to make a move with a good conscience. And that will mean breaking it off with your current partner. You should not go after someone else while you’re still in your relationship. Going after this other person and thinking “oh, if it doesn’t actually work out with them, I still have my current partner” is not a kind thing to do.
If You’re Going to Do This … Prepare Yourself
Ok. If you’re still with us and you do indeed want to find this person from your past and confront them with either a testing of the waters for their mutual affection or an upfront revelation of your own love for them, you need to prepare and protect yourself before you make the move.
First, if you haven’t talked to this person in a long time, it could be revealed to you that they are in a relationship or even in a relationship with a family.
Similarly, they may have completely changed! When you get your hopes up a lot before endeavoring to do something huge like this, you need to prepare yourself for a possible letdown. You need to be ready for what may come.
Make Your Move the Right Way
You don’t want to be the crazy ex who shows up out of nowhere and blurts their love out in front of a church or an entire room of people.
You read that right.
Knowing what to say in the perfect texts to him or her can unlock their heart in ways you never knew possible.
For instance, did you know that men need visual cues in order to truly fall in love with someone? On the other hand, women unconsciously desire imaginative ideas of their future. Give them these and they’ll be putty in your hands.
To get you started, try the Text Your Ex Back program. It’s quick and easy and extremely informative about exactly what you need to say to your ex. You are only a few texts away from seeing if this person from your past is really meant for you. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. True love could be just around the corner.