Behaviors that some men practice just don’t cut it for us females
By: Faye Roberts
If we could all watch our lives play out like movies, we would catch so much more.
- “Why am I so mean to my mom, she’s just trying to help me not make mistakes!?”
- “Why am I eating that entire pizza if I’m trying to lose weight!?”
- “Why am I buying that white dress for the barbecue—it’s dry clean only!”
Alas, this isn’t how it works. You have to live your life and monitor yourself at the same time. It’s hard. But in one area at least, we’re here to the rescue.
When it comes to relationships, there are some things that are deal-breakers—behaviors that some men practice that just don’t cut it for us females. And if you’ve been having trouble discerning between “Slightly annoying, quirky personality trait” and “Very bad, deal-breaking behavior” in your guy, this article should help you out.
The Big 4 No-Nos for Long-Term Relationships
- Abuse of Any Kind
You know this one already, but it’s here as number one because it cannot be overstated. If a man abuses a woman physically or mentally, he should be out of her life immediately. No if’s, and’s or but’s.
Even if it’s a light push in the midst of a fight, think about it like a run in your pantyhose. The damage has been done, and you can’t wear those hose anymore because the problem’s only going to spread.
- Lies and Inconsistencies
Here, we mean lying in any capacity. For example, let’s say your man lies about hanging out with his guy friends when he said he was visiting his parents.
You think: The lie did no harm. It’s not like he was cheating. What’s the problem?
Well the problem is this: “Seriously?”
If you are an adult … and if he is an adult … this cannot seriously be how you’re acting. Lying serves no purpose, and any lie—no matter how seemingly innocent—is like termites for your house. Those lies eat away at the trust between you two, and sooner or later, everything caves in.
Lying is no good. You don’t have to put up with it.
- Mean Teasing
This one is harder to catch sometimes because it’s more subtle, but it’s definitely something that you should never put up with.
Most of us know that girl with the boyfriend who teases her. We hang out with them and it’s so obviously not just harmless poking fun.
- He comments on her food order at a restaurant: “Are you sure you need that extra cheese, sweetie?”
- He comments on her intelligence during a trivia game: “Sweetheart, you’re pretty but you’re just not the brainy type.”
Often, this is all his idea of great comedy at her expense. Sometimes, it’s deeper than that, and it’s about control. Of course, from the outside looking in, we are just thinking, “What a jerk! Can’t she see he’s throwing her under the bus and being mean?”
Well, is it happening to you and you just can’t see it?
- No Support for Your Dreams
This one goes along with #2. Everyone’s got dreams. We all want move in a specific direction in our lives, and to do that, you have to believe in yourself. If you want to get a promotion, you have to feel like you deserve a promotion. If you want to lose 20 lbs. to be healthier, you have to be positive and supportive of yourself every step of the way.
And that belief and support should come from your partner too. He’s called a partner for a reason, ladies. He’s supposed to be with you on this stuff.
A man who doesn’t offer support for your dreams—no matter what they are or how far you are away from them—is holding you back, and you don’t have to put up with it.
Almost all people who seem to consistently dash your hopes and desires and find holes and flaws in your dreams are secretly envious and mad at themselves for not having the guts to go for it in life.
5 “New Relationship Behaviors” That Should Make You Run
- Asking for a loan
If you just started dating a guy and he asks for money, that’s a red flag. Unless you’re a millionaire, chances are you have your own stuff going on with money. You shouldn’t have to carry him on your back as well.
- Ogling at or commenting on other women
“It was probably just a one-time thing. He was just being funny.”
Uh … probably not. If you want to stick around with this guy who ogled a woman in the first year of your relationship, you can look forward to that for your entire time together.
- Not introducing you to his people or saying you’re “just a friend”
Unless he said this because he wasn’t sure you wanted to be more than a friend, that’s an extremely disrespectful thing to do, and you don’t have to deal with it.
- Being a cheapskate
Ok, ok. Being smart about money is one thing, and it’s different from being a cheapskate. A cheapskate is someone who makes you walk 10 blocks in heels to the restaurant because he doesn’t want to pay for a taxi.
- Treating you like a maid or cook
You should choose the level to which you want to be “Suzy Homemaker.” If you love baking cakes for your man and washing his dirty laundry, hey, go for it! But if he’s pushing the “Women do this and men do that” agenda and you don’t like it, you do not have to just deal.
Knowing Your Gut
Finally, don’t forget the power of your gut. Scientists actually say there are things in your gut that can send signals and produce emotions and feelings much like the synapses in your brain. So trust that power.
If you’re in a relationship where your man is doing one of the things listed above, don’t just shrug and do nothing. This is your life, and it’s most definitely worth living with someone who makes you feel worthy and special and happy. Until you find that man, go with your gut and don’t tolerate these behaviors. Life’s just too short.