If you’ve sent a text, chances are you’ve sent a sext. Er, at least a text that was on the edge of being a sext.
And c’mon. We know you liked it.
When you’re in a committed relationship (or at least dating someone and leading up to a committed relationship), sexting is healthy, exciting and super fun.
But we all weren’t born with the sexting gene …
In other words, some of us are better at the craft than others. Fortunately, those who excel at sexting (so say the recipients of their texty prose), are willing to divulge their secrets.
And all the better for us!
Here’s what you can learn from expert sexters.
#1. You gotta create a story.
Creating an amazing back-and-forth through sexting is like writing a book. You need to A) Set the scene and the characters (you two!), B) Pick the plot and C) Offer lots and lots of detail.
It’s all in the detail. Get creative.
#2 Keep things going. Never end a text without leaving it open for continuation.
Going along with the last one: Don’t close the storyline. This means you have to keep things going.
Have you ever heard people talk about improv comedy? The rule is to say “Yes. And …” to absolutely everything that your improv partner says.
You want to be able to go back and forth easily with your partner so that there’s never a dull moment or an awkward situation where one of you has to build things back up again from scratch.
This is exactly the same sort of thing you have to remember when it comes to sexting. Go with what they say and then add something of your own, and then leave something else open for the other person to react to.
#3 Don’t think too literally.
Remember when we said to Get creative. That’s easier said than done, right? We get it.
But for starters, just remember that the things you sext about may not be actual things you’ve done or even things that you plan on doing.
No, you don’t actually have to be wearing a pink thong to let on that you are. Yes, you can be in your PJs with unwashed hair and having the time of your life sexting.
#4 Put out feelers.
One of the biggest things that people worry about when sexting is what the other person will think of them if they say such-and-such. Usually, it’s something that’s a little bit out of their own comfort zone, and so they assume that the other person might be “freaked out” by it.
If you’re old enough to have seen the Seinfeld episode where Jerry starts dirty talking with one of his many girlfriends, you know what we’re talking about. In the episode, Jerry’s girlfriend wants to dirty talk with Jerry, but he’s nervous about what to say. Finally, he says something to try it out, and the woman is totally repulsed by it.
This is the fear.
But don’t let it freak you out too much. The truth of the matter is that if you have a good, loving relationship, you can’t freak your partner out too much. And if you do, you can always laugh it off.
But to avoid this altogether, start by putting out feelers.
For example, if you want to take the conversation in a certain direction, tap into the new topic just a little and see what you get in return. If they seem willing to go there, go for it! If not, change subjects to something more neutral.
Get Sexting Advice From the Pros
The above is naturally advice from people who have sexted a lot, and often, that’s not us. It can be hard to just jump into this game when you’ve never done it before. So if your partner is up for it, and you literally have no idea where to start, fortunately, you have options.
In a nutshell, you can ask the real sexting pros to, well … do it for you.
The Language of Desire Program is a complete relationship guide that can help you hone your communication skills (in and out of the bedroom) to make you the most desirable woman your man has ever laid eyes on.
Whoever it is that you want to seduce or woo or make fall for you will be swept off his feet when you use the special techniques taught through Language of Desire. It’s a serious win, and it’s got tons of programs, guides, techniques AND complete “done for you” texts that you won’t have to even think about. Just press send, and let him come to you …
However you go about seducing your man, don’t forget the power of texting and sexting. We live in the 21st century, and phones and texting aren’t going anywhere! Embrace sexting. Get good at it (with a little help). And see how it can work for you to help you get the man of your dreams—literally any man you desire.