Why the Hook Up Industry Is Ruining Good Men
Why the Hook Up Industry Is Ruining Good Men
By: Faye Roberts
I want you to think back to your high school days.
What did you see for yourself in your future?
Maybe you thought of a beautiful house in the country or a fashionable townhouse in the city. Maybe you thought of children. Perhaps you were looking forward to a bright career in your future.
There’s one thing we’re sure you thought of. And that’s someone to love. A man, and not just any man. The One. A man you’d fall deeply in love with and who would love you deeply back.
You would meet, date, and one day, he would pop the question. From that moment on, you’d be like a unit. Two peas in a pod. Together forever.
Well, the good news is that 50 years ago … men thought like this too! They wanted to find their soul mates just as much as women did. They wanted to find a woman who would spend her life with him, and there would be long-lasting mutual love.
Ok, ok, maybe these men were a little less soulful and romantic about it … but still. Men 50 years ago wanted to find The One just as much as women did and still do.
Today, things are terribly different with men.
It’s happened very quickly and only in recent years that men no longer seem to think the way they used to about someday finding and keeping deep, long-term love.
Today, men are interested in quantity and quality. Women are more expendable than ever, and committed relationships? For losers. They’re just too much fuss, too much bother, too difficult.
Instead … they’re taught that real men just have hook ups. And they’re taught this every day through the most powerful media outlet in the world: The Internet.
Yep, we’re talking about the “Hook Up Industry” online. We’re talking about multibillion dollar companies, such as Ashley Maddison, Adult Friend Finder, Plenty of Fish and Mixxer.
“Don’t be tied down,” they say.
“There’s always someone else,” they say.
In other words: “Here’s a picture of a girl you might like. If you don’t like even just the looks of her, simply swipe to the left, and she’s gone. And here’s another one. Here’s another … and another …”
Why is this happening? We’ll give you 3 reasons:
How the “Hook Up Industry” Is Ruining Good Men
- Cheating Is Celebrated (and It’s way too Easy)
The truth is that a lot of people in relationships think about cheating. Yeah, it crosses their minds. But that’s just it: it’s only a thought. They don’t act. They don’t act because they know it’s wrong. But they also don’t act because it’s just too difficult.
When cheating does happen, it usually occurs because the option is right there, and it’s easy. Maybe it’s a woman at work throwing herself at her male coworker, or perhaps a woman messages her old flame on Facebook—newly single and ready to rekindle the romance.
So what other situations present cheating as a very easy, readily available option?
Men going online.
And do you know how often men go online? Yeah.
Men constantly see ads for “hook up” websites and free apps. They’re in the margins of the men’s sites they frequent. They’re in emails. They’re everywhere.
And the message is always the same:
- “You’re a real man if you hook up with a lot of women.”
- “Thousands of women are out there waiting to hook up with you.”
- “Your wife/girlfriend/fianceé will never find out.”
This makes cheating simple. And that means that if your guy even has the tiniest of interests, he might think, “Hmm, what is this all about? Maybe I’ll just …”
- “Real Men Hook Up With Lots of Women” Is the Message
Men have always had this cloud of machismo over their heads:
“Don’t show your emotions.”
This is how a man is supposed to be.
And there’s another one:
“Sleep with a lot of women.”
This last one is louder than ever for men right now. It is constantly being shown in the media that guys who have sex with lots of women are real men.
Committed relationships? Those are for losers.
Working through problems with a woman? For losers?
True love? Forget it.
- Unlimited Female Options
The hook up industry tells men that at any given moment, there are thousands of women just waiting to hook up with them.
Ok so with that in mind … let’s say you’ve had a fight with your guy. Maybe it was over money or household chores or where to go for dinner.
Whatever it was, it was just a fight, right? Nothing colossal. We all know that—despite them being uncomfortable and annoying and frustrating—occasional fights are normal and healthy for quality relationships.
But is that how he sees it?
What if you didn’t know it but you said that “one thing” that just pushed him over the edge? He’s furious. And normally … it would wear off. You’d probably both come running to apologize eventually and have great makeup sex. All would be well. After all, he knows deep down that he’s committed to this relationship.
But while he’s fuming, he sees the ads for hook up sites online. He’s never clicked on them before. Now he’s thinking: “Why not just click once and see?”
And that’s how it starts.
How to Keep Your Man From Falling Into The “Hook Up Industry” Trap
If you’re alright being a “thing on the side” or a “friend with benefits” to the man in your life, well … then just stick around, and that will be pretty easy to make happen.
But if you’re like most women, this whole situation is a serious problem.
Your first thought is probably that there is nothing you can do. How can you stop this huge industry from creating a serial cheater out of the man you love?
But you can do some things.
Firstly, remember that even though men are being taught that relationships are for losers, the fact is that both emotionally and biologically, men do want to find an amazing mate for life. It’s literally like these men are being brainwashed—but you can wake them up.
You can do this by cultivating a stronger emotional and physical bond between you. Both are vital for a relationship to be long-lasting.
For example, many relationship experts recommend examining you and your partner’s sex life when things start to get rocky.
- Are you having sex regularly?
- If not, when and why did things start to change?
- Do you know what turns him on?
You’ll want to:
- Talk about sex.
- Schedule time to have sex.
- Think of little things you can do to spice things up (e.g. Send some sexy texts, set the scene in the bedroom, start experimenting with dirty talk).
- Get confident about sex: This might mean getting a Brazilian, working out more, or buying some lingerie.
And you’ll also want to try this:
Activate his Alpha Bonding Sequence
This may sound complicated, and there is definitely a set of steps you’ll need to learn to fully grasp and employ this method of intimate bonding with your man—bonding that will actually cause him to start begging for commitment with you. But it is totally doable, and it has been successful for hundreds of other relationships.
The basis of The Bonding Code is that it taps into men’s innermost, primitive desires to find one woman and be devoted to her forever.
Who has the key to unlock these primitive desires? Only you. Only a woman can do this for her man and for their relationship.
Bob Grant is the licensed relationship expert who actually discovered and pieced out the steps required to achieve this special form of bonding.
You already know if your relationship is in danger of ending up like so many others: riddled with cheating and affairs until it finally breaks.
But you can stop this from happening. Just give The Bonding Code one try. Just like thousands of other women, you’ll be able to see the amazing results it offers immediately.