Reading this title, you may already be thinking of a couple you know who has been—or will be—together forever. And you probably already know some of their habits as well. Maybe they always hold hands or keep a special date night.
Just knowing that great couples have special habits is important. That’s because many of us mistakenly think that certain couples are great together and make it in the long run because they’re just “so in love.” But what does that exactly mean? At a certain point in any relationship, you need more than just that first passionate love.
Ok, yes. Definitely, love’s got a lot to do with it.
But the bottom line is if you think that these golden couples aren’t putting forth a lot of effort too, you’ve got it all wrong.
Living your entire life in close quarters with one other person isn’t always a picnic. The best couples form habits that help keep them in love (and keep them sane).
5 Habits That Keep Great Couples Together Forever
- They share chores and responsibilities around the house.
- They don’t bottle up emotions. When something’s wrong, they say so.
- They value flexibility and try their best to compromise when possible: “You want to go here, I want to go there. Let’s go over here instead.”
- They pursue their own interests and have their own hobbies.
- They maintain friendships outside the relationship.
10 Habits That Keep That Deep Bond and Passion Alive
- They touch each other.
Touching is vital to any relationship. Babies need to be touched and held by their parents, and even older children need to be hugged and cuddled. Adults need touching too—and right now, we’re not even talking about sexual touching.
Happy couples hold hands, they give each other a squeeze every once in a while, or run their fingers through each other’s hair. These small caresses help connect you in small ways throughout the day, and these connections add up to form a deeper bond.
- They have sex regularly
Sex creates a bond that can’t be met with any other type of together time. It’s intimacy at an extreme level, and without it, couples often fall into a long-term friendship zone. That’s not where you want to be as a romantic couple. No matter their age, how busy they are, or how many other things get in the way, happy couples have sex.
- They maintain their health and appearance for each other.
You don’t have to always put on your Sunday best for a relaxing day at home, but do put some effort in. If you appreciate your partner looking fine, chances are they will appreciate the same in you. Great couples make an effort in their appearances.
- They continually experience new things together.
New experiences open your mind and also spark your interest and overall passion for life. When you go through a new experience with your partner, you associate those positive vibes with them. You also create good memories.
- They go on dates.
Dates are great times to discuss lofty ideas about life or just have a chat about funny little stories that happened to you this week. Unfortunately, for many couples, dates that used to be a time for dressing up and making reservations turn into dates involving PJs in front of the TV.
Sometimes, PJs and TV are great. But putting forth the effort for a few serious dates every once in a while is one of the many things that great couples do to stay focused on each other.
- They maintain little niceties and gratitude.
Whether it’s telling him he looks great in that shirt or bringing her coffee in the morning, small niceties go a long way. And when their partner does something nice for them? They say thank you.
- They don’t eat in front of the TV.
Meal times are crucial for two people as a couple, but with a TV blaring, they might as well not even be together. Turning off the TV makes room for discussion, whether it’s pertinent information you need to share or just jabbering about your day.
- They listen to each other.
These days, screens are everywhere, and it’s harder than ever to talk with someone and have their full attention. Actually looking someone in the eye and listening to what they have to say without jumping to interject can go a long way.
- They have “fighting rules.”
Fighting happens to all couples, including the best couples. But the greatest couples have “rules.” For example:
Don’t threaten to breakup or divorce every time you argue.
Don’t call names or roll your eyes.
Maintain low voice volumes.
Don’t bring up past arguments.
- They maintain “illusions” about each other.
Ok, illusions makes it sound bad. These couples aren’t making up things about their significant others.
What this really means is that happy couples don’t go searching for the bad. They maintain positive ideas about their partners. They maintain a feeling that they are lucky to have their partner because they’re so [funny, charming, kind, loving …].
This final habit that great couples use to stay deeply in love in their relationships just underlines the overarching thing that all couples do: They want their relationship to last, and they’re willing to work for it.
Because after all, it’s those couples who just lose interest and give up who don’t end up making it work.
As with any skills you want to get better at in life (and being in a relationship does require a special set of skills!), take some advice from the relationship pros, and follow their habit leads above.