3 Ways to Talk Dirty for Shy Ladies
by Felicity Keith
Please help me, Felicity! My boyfriend has told me that he would be so turned on if I talked dirty to him. He’s even commanded that I do it while we are having sex. But the one time I tried, my cheeks turned beet red and I just couldn’t even say anything and started kissing him to basically change the subject so to speak. I want to do this for my man but I’m too afraid and too embarrassed to actually do it. I am a grown woman with a very healthy sex drive…why is talking dirty so difficult for me? Any advice?
You are not alone! Talking dirty is difficult for many women. It’s one of the most common topics I get asked about. In fact, I was once tongue-tied and embarrassed, too (you can listen to my personal story here)!
One important thing to understand is why he is pushing you, his shy girlfriend, to talk dirty.
When you are ladylike and demure outside of the bedroom yet you say explicit words just for his ears, it makes him feel like a total stud.
That contrast is HUGE and totally hot. Think of the fantasy of the prim librarian who turns into a lusty sex goddess behind closed doors. You talking dirty is the same type of excitement for him.
Now, how can you get to that place where you feel comfortable actually saying explicit words? I have three tips that will get you on your way!
1. Start with texting
It is much easier to say sexy things from the safety-zone behind the screen of your phone. The first place I tell women to start is by just planting a naughty image in his mind.
And you can do this without even saying anything particularly dirty.
My go-to advice is to choose a time when you aren’t together, ideally when he’s at work or otherwise engaged in some activity.
Out of the blue, send him a text that says this…
“I just got out of the shower and I’m massaging that scented lotion you love over every inch of my body.”
His response might be something like “Oh really? :)” to “That sounds really nice” or if he’s bold, he might launch into a naughty narrative.
As for your reply, I recommend stopping the conversation leaving him wanting more…which amps up the anticipation and sexual tension.
Say “Enjoy that visual, now get back to work” or “Can’t wait to feel your hands on me. Hurry home!”
This little erotic interlude gets both of your motors running. And it’s an easy way to introduce dirty talking even if it makes you blush a little bit.
2. Admire his body
One thing I talk a lot about in Language of Desire is how seldom men get objectified by their women. One of the psychological reasons that men ogle us is because they actually want the same in return. Weird, huh?
Now you can take this to a very graphic place with your words by mentioning specific body parts. But again, it’s possible to say dirty things without actually using coarse language.
The easiest thing to do is substitute the words “you” and “me” for those specific body parts.
“I love how you feel…
…when we make love”
…when you are on top of me”
…when you are deep inside me”
See? No bleeped-out words but still very specific.
You can say this via text or a whisper in his ear…and eventually as you are making love.
3. Boldly give directions
Now that you’ve tried your hand at texting and objectifying your man, it’s time to go one step further.
A core focus of talking dirty is saying what you want him to do (or what you want to do to him). Basically, describing the action.
The reason for this is that tying in an auditory component with the physical act amplifies the sensations happening.
Start with action words like harder, faster, slower, deeper, right there, don’t stop.
The next step is to describe what is happening, just like a sports play by play. This can certainly be done via text or with phone sex (and I have TONS of scripts and creative ideas on that) but it’s surprisingly easy to do in person.
Tell him you love how he feels.
Tell him to move to a certain position.
Tell him what you want him to do for you (or what you are about to do for him).
You can be as explicit as you want…and even if you don’t use graphic words, just the fact that you are talking about the sex you are having, it will turn him on.
Ready for more?
Check out my video where I share my personal story and why Michael Fiore calls me the “Indiana Jones of the male mind”. I have so many more advanced tips to share that will amaze you at just how sexy you can be!