Head Over Heels?
5 Signs That You Have Found “The One”
By: Faye Roberts
Butterflies are a sign.
The inability to concentrate on literally anything else in your life is a sign.
Constantly checking your phone and Facebook are definitely signs.
It’s got to be … could it be …
Are you in love?
Many of us have been lucky enough to feel this pulsating emotion of love on at least one occasion in our lives. It’s a rush of happiness often followed by an avalanche of worry:
“What if he doesn’t feel the way I do?”
“That last text was so sweet! Wait … what did he mean? Was he just being nice before he blows me off?”
“I think he’s the one. How can I be sure?”
This last one’s the killer.
How can you be sure that this man you are absolutely head over heels with is “the one”? If you’re over the age of 25, you’ve likely felt the way you do at least once before in your life. And if you’re here now … that one didn’t end well.
So oftentimes, this makes women jaded. Why should this guy work out when so many of the other ones haven’t?
But just hold your horses there, girl. Not so fast. There are indeed a few ways that you can narrow your chances of success—signs that could show you whether or not you truly have “found the one.” Here they are:
- You Feel Like Yourself
We’ve all had that relationship where you feel like you can’t see him until you’ve “done yourself up.”
These aren’t the relationships that last. Sure, wanting to look great for your sweetie is great, but if you truly feel that you are or would be rejected or neglected if you looked less than perfect, this guy’s not the one.
On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with him even when you are knee deep in a cold or half asleep at 7am, he could be a keeper.
- You Can Each Be Humble After a Fight
The ability to say you’re sorry is key here. Being able to forgive your partner for a snide comment or even for a yell in the heat of the moment is paramount.
Fights happen, and they will continue to happen. But when they last for days at a time with neither party breaking to apologize or at least try to work things out, this could be dangerous for your relationship.
He doesn’t always have to be the one to break down and reach out after a fight, but if he has this ability at least some of the time, that’s a great sign. It means that he values your relationship as a whole more than the fight you had and more than his pride. Do the same, and you could make this work.
- You’re Not Competing
Romantic relationships come in many forms. In our younger years, we often encounter “competitive relationships” or those that aren’t based on mutual love but personal gain.
The best way to figure out if the relationship you’re in now is truly one that is based on love and support for one another is to look at the way you each react to the other’s successes.
When he gets a promotion, are you genuinely excited? Does he truly root for you before your big presentation at work? These are the signs of a relationship where his happiness is yours and vice versa.
- You Show Each Other Mutual Respect
Another common relationship trope is one that puts one person above the other in terms of respect. In other words, one of you rules the roost.
For the best relationships, this is not the way to go. Both of your thoughts, opinions, and views on the world should be respected in the relationship. Sure, he may know more about cars than you. You may know more about French history than he. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t show each other mutual respect in every discussion you have.
If he is showing you that he respects your views and opinions as well as your individuality in every day life, that’s a good sign for things to progress down the line.
- You Can See Your Future
You don’t have to know all the little details, but if you can actually picture a life with this guy, that’s probably your best bet for knowing he’s the one right there.
We’re not talking about picturing yourselves in an idealistic home with perfect children and a Golden Retriever either.
Can you picture the messy days too? The difficult times when parents are ill, children are naughty, and careers are on the fritz? These are the moments that break relationships, but if you can see yourself with this man during these times, he could definitely be the one for you.
Each relationship will have different dynamics that foresee whether the future will work out. But remember that one of the biggest elements that will contribute to your success or failure as a couple is commitment.
Hope for all of the factors listed above to come together to make an optimal relationship, but also keep in mind that if you can both make the decision to be committed, this is the absolute best predictor of whether a relationship will work or not.