Not Feelin’ It?
5 Ways to Get in the Mood for Sex
By: Faye Roberts
He wants to have sex. You have a headache …
He wants to have sex. You have a big day tomorrow …
He wants to have sex. It’s not the right time of month …
Men and women often have different ideas when it comes sex frequency. Over time, the heat may diminish so much that you can’t remember the last time you did it.
And it can make you feel bad, right?
You want to have a healthy sex life with your boyfriend / husband / main squeeze. After all, you’ve read the research results:
Couples who make sex a priority stay together.
But … if you’re not feelin’ it, that’s sort of a speed bump. And not one you should ignore.
Don’t simply jump to the conclusion that you don’t want to have sex because you’re in a bad relationship. In fact, if you’ve been having other relationship issues—little tiffs here and there, a feeling of disconnect—it could actually be because you’re not having sex and you’re missing that intimate connection.
If you’re in this position, you’ve got to figure out how to get back in the saddle, and don’t worry—we’re here to help.
Here are 5 sexy mood boosting tips to get your motor runnin’ again!
- Connect on Another Level
Often, sex goes by the wayside because you just don’t have time to be together in any sense. Not only are you not getting cozy beneath the covers, but you’re not even eating dinner together. Or having a nice chat at breakfast. Or communicating throughout the day.
So here’s your chance to connect on an emotional level and then take that energy to the boudoir.
Try going on a date night, or take a romantic weekend getaway. You might even just have a movie night at home. You’ll feel that old connection, and it will take you back to when you were first dating.
- Tell Him What You Need
This one’s pretty straightforward. Sometimes, guys get it wrong. Maybe they go too fast without enough foreplay. Maybe they’re always trying the positions you’re not into. Maybe they do that weird flicking thing with their tongue and it turns you off.
But your guy won’t know unless you tell him.
Use kind words and start with a compliment. Then tell him what you want in bed. Believe us, he’ll probably love it.
- Fake It to Make It
In other words, go through the initial motions of sex to get in the mood. It’s a pretty simple solution, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works.
If this has you skeptical, think about it like exercising. Sometimes, you just have to put on those sneakers and escort yourself to the treadmill, right? Then by the time you’re up and running, you feel great and think to yourself, “Why didn’t I want to do this?”
Same for sex.
- Make an Appointment to Glam It Up
Women have this thing: We often feel most turned on for our men when we feel hot.
But it seems like he’s always in the mood when we’re in our sweatpants and just about to put our retainer in for the night. Glasses on. Hair in a ponytail.
Instead of letting this happen, why not decide for yourself when you’ll have sex? And this time, be ready. Make a mental appointment (don’t worry about him, trust us, he’ll be ready any time), and spend an hour beforehand getting yourself in tip-top shape.
Get the lacy lingerie, deal with the—ahem—grooming down there, add some false eyelashes and lip gloss, and tease that hair!
By the time you’ve got yourself all glammed up, you’ll be feelin’ mega sexy and he’ll be drooling for ya, which will turn you on even more!
- Lay the Sexy Groundwork
Women need a buildup, and sometimes that buildup (foreplay) needs to be … really built up. We’re talking hours in the making.
To lay this “sexy groundwork,” we advise employing the old sexting technique. While you’re both at your respective jobs one day, shoot your honey a naughty text that just says something like, “Had a pretty hot dream last night and you were in it …”
Or try, “Was thinking about getting right into bed sans clothes when we get home tonight … what do you think?”
The key is to get some back and forth going so that by the time you see each other, you’re both so worked up that … well, you get the picture.
And if you have trouble coming up with good sexting lines, you’re not alone. This is a toughy for a lot of gals, but there’s a great program that will have you writing the hottest sexts in no time.
It’s called The Language of Desire, and in it, you’ll learn everything you need to know about driving your guy wild with dirty texts, sexy talk and more!
Check it out today to start laying that groundwork. Who knows, maybe you’ll be rollin’ in the sheets tonight …!