Are You Making These Unhealthy Relationship Mistakes?
by Rick Wall
Let’s be honest; everyone makes mistakes in a relationship. No one is perfect; however, there are just some things that should be avoided at all cost.
Obviously the entire list of no-nos is quite comprehensive, and it would be impossible to effectively address them all here; subsequently, we will focus on the ones that are most common and have the potential to cause irreparable damage to a promising relationship.
Below, you will find several relationship mistakes that are simply not to be made. If you are currently engaging in one or more of these potential relationship killers, don’t beat yourself up about it; simply correct it. Bear in mind that the reason why I mention these is because they’re incredibly common, so you are not alone.
Hacking Online Accounts and Snooping
This is one of the quickest ways to obliterate a relationship in 10 seconds flat. Hacking into your partner’s email or any other password protected account is simply out of line.
One thing that I have learned while counseling couples is that when you go looking for something, you usually find it. This is not because it actually exists, but because you are predisposed to view things in a particular type of way. That totally innocent text to a co-worker can easily appear to you as if there is something happening between them when there really isn’t.
Stop snooping. You are most likely going to create a problem that doesn’t even exist. Plus, it’s an invasion of privacy that you wouldn’t want imposed on you, would you?
Don’t get me wrong; I believe that romance definitely has its place in relationships; however, when too much emphasis is placed on romance, it creates unrealistic expectations.
Actually, the concept of romance did not enter into the institution of marriage and committed relationships until the beginning of the 13th century. So, a lot of marriages have survived quite well without it. Romance is a beautiful way to intimately connect with your partner, but keep it in perspective.
Taking on an Ideology that the Ideal Relationship is Easy
First of all, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. That would require two perfect individuals with identical objectives.
There is such a thing as an ideal relationship; however, these types of relationships require a great deal of work and sacrifice from both parties.
If you want you and your partner’s version of a perfect relationship, make sure you’re willing to make the effort to get there. I’m sure you’ve heard – nothing worth having comes easy.
Inviting Your Best Friend to Every Event
Let’s talk about men for a moment – they are naturally territorial, and the more people your partner has to share you with, the more challenged he will feel to compete for your attention. Not fun if it happens all the time.
Besides that, romantic partnerships require quality alone time in order to build significant bonds. That includes times you choose to make your outings as a couple, whether that is to have a quiet dinner at your favorite little Italian restaurant, or that movie you’ve both been dying to see.
Having your “bestie” tag along sometimes is fun. Having your “bestie” tag along all of the time makes for an annoying third wheel situation. Make sure you carve out time for your great friends but save a significant amount of quality time for you and your mate. Alone.
Viewing Your Partner as the Cure-all to All of Your Problems
Ladies, here is something that I often see with my clients: Some women have a proclivity to view men as the answer to all of their enigmatic issues. They believe that if they simply find their White Knight, everything will magically become better.
The truth is that you are responsible for ensuring that you are healed and whole, otherwise having a husband or boyfriend will only exacerbate your issues.
Being Excessively Independent
There is an erroneous concept in this contemporary culture that causes men, and in more recent decades, women, to view dependence as some form of weakness. Relationships are built on a level of dependence for both individuals – creating the balance and strength that make the both of you significantly better as a couple.
It really is okay for the two of you to lean on each other, especially when you need each other the most.
Being Overly Analytical
Sometimes things really are simply as they appear. Not everything is as complex as you would believe. Women especially sometimes have a tendency to read more into situations than what is really there. If your mate says there is nothing to it, take them at that word.
If you review these mistakes, you will find that most of them have something to do with excessiveness – seeing too much, doing too much and expecting too much. Dealing with these issues will improve your chances of engaging in a very happy and peaceful relationship.