Why He Can’t Marry You (Even When He Secretly Wants To)

Why He Can’t Marry You (Even When He Secretly Wants To)

by Rick Wall

why he can't marry you

 

There has been a great deal of discussion when it comes to the willingness or capacity of men to take that final step toward ultimate commitment. Why do so many men struggle with marriage?  You may be asking yourself the very same question about YOUR man.

 

While there have been numerous things blamed for this type of behavior, at the core, the answer is rather simple. Men are not that complicated. The average man is in one of two primary phases after reaching adulthood. He has either graduated into mature adulthood and abandoned the selfishness associated with being an adolescent, or he is still functioning in what some call the “juvenile player” phase.

 

When a man has moved into the mature phase or “grown up man” phase, he has the capacity to shift his priorities, and he understands the massive benefits of finding one woman with whom he can build a life; however, the man who has not yet graduated from the “juvenile player” phase may even desire to marry a woman, but his immaturity will consistently highlight what he believes he is leaving behind — his freedom.

 

When a man is still living a juvenile existence, his thought processes are immature, leading him to a position of contentment when it comes to occupying the bed of a woman without making a commitment to her. Don’t take this wrong, he may even refer to himself as a boyfriend, or maybe even a fiancée; however, the idea of actually being married has not been reconciled in his mind.

 

While this may be your first time engaging this reality, the truth is that it is not as uncommon as it may seem. In fact, there is even a name for this type of behavior — Peter Pan Syndrome. Peter Pan Syndrome represents behavior in which a person has matured into adulthood physically; however, the mental and psychological thought processes are lagging behind. According to Science Daily, Peter Pan Syndrome can be the result of simply refusing to grow up, or it can occur when a person becomes stuck in a specific developmental stage, unable to grow up.

 

While this condition has not yet been officially designated as a psychological disorder, there are a growing number of adults who exude childish and irresponsible behavior well into adulthood. It is worth noting that although this condition is not exclusive to men, it is more prevalent with the male population.

 

Men who are trapped in the “juvenile player” phase, are not necessarily spurning the idea of marriage, they are simply not psychologically mature enough to engage it and all of the responsibilities associated with it. Most men in this situation are looking for that one woman who has the ability to inspire him to make the choice to grow up, become the man he is capable of being and make a lifetime commitment to being married to her.

 

If you are involved with a man who is suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome (and want to continue to be in a relationship with him), it is important to understand that until you are able to inspire him to move beyond his current immature state, you will never get him to open up about how he really feels, nor will he make the ultimate commitment to marry you.

 

There are some men who may appear to have it all-together. They refer to themselves as a boyfriend or fiancé, but deep inside they are hanging on to what they are most comfortable with. The immature man is more afraid of relinquishing his OPTIONS, while the mature man has come to understand that while he has more than one choice, he only has one option.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that these men are bad people.  They just may not be the best partners until they find a way to mature in the relationship.

 

Here is where it gets a little tricky. Because each man’s circumstances and environment are different, the forces behind his inability to grow up will be different, meaning that there is no cookie cutter approach to inspiring a man to grow up. This means that you have to be in tune with your mate to understand what drives him, as well as what fears immobilize him. Responding to those fears without having an accusatory tone is what will awaken the man in him that is fighting to get out.

 

Until you can dissolve his invisible hangups about commitment (that he might not even realize are there), he’ll always have one foot out the door emotionally and he’ll never truly become the MAN he was meant to be.

 

Let me make something clear: Helping him progress into a mature relationship is not your responsibility, it’s his.

 

But, if you want to see exactly how to dissolve these hangups, help him grow up, and have even the biggest player CHOOSE to commit himself heart, body, and soul to you then go check out this quick cartoon my friend Mirabelle put together for you by clicking HERE or on the video below.

 

wrap him around your finger

 

Here’s to a happier, healthier relationship to both of you! 

Rick

Wondering Why Men Keep Disappearing? Here’s What You Can Do About It

Wondering Why Men Keep Disappearing?

Here’s What You Can Do About It

by Nadine Piat

wondering why men keep disappearing

If you’re in your 30s or older and looking for love, you may have noticed something: dating’s changed. And it’s largely due to the Internet.

 

20 or even 10 years ago, if you knew a couple that had met online, it was rare. Today, everyone seems to be hopping on the net to meet their dream mate.

 

And online dating can work! There’s no doubt about it. It’s great for people who live in remote areas or those who have recently moved to a new city. Let’s face it: bumping into the love of your life at the grocery store is probably not going to happen in this day and age. We need a way to meet people that fits the 21st century.

 

Serious Relationships Can Come From Online Dating

 

So far, statistics have shown that dating in today’s tech world isn’t just for flings. Dating sites and apps are leading to an increasing number of serious relationships and marriages. A recent Pew Research Center study  showed that 5 percent of committed relationships and marriages in the U.S. started online. Another study by eHarmony, cited in USA Today, found that 1 in 3 marriages in the U.S. begin online.

 

So why then are so many men and women still single and desperately looking to meet a mate?

 

In many ways, technology may be to blame. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

 

Sure, there are amazing upsides to technology. It connects people and forms new relationships even across great distances. It also keeps people who are already in relationships connected: you can stay in contact all day through phone, video chat, text, email, Facebook, and other technological pathways.

 

But the downsides to technology can also hurt your possibilities of finding a mate.

 

In this age of online dating and “swiping” for love on apps like Tinder, have you noticed that every man you think you could have a connection with ends up being just like the rest? What’s the deal? Where’s the one?

 

There are three big reasons why finding love seems to be getting harder these days. Learn to deal with these issues, and you’ll be able to avoid that consistent heartbreak you’ve been facing.

 

 

First, we’ve got too many choices.

 

Yes, we have more opportunities to meet men, but that leads to boatloads of choices.

 

Oftentimes, when you have too many options, you start to become increasingly critical. If you’ve been single and looking for years and then finally meet a man who’s grounded, kind and has your sense of humor, don’t ditch him because he wears pleated pants or likes a band you hate. No one’s perfect.

 

Now, don’t get us wrong: it’s good to be particular to a point when looking for a mate. Don’t just pick the first guy who IM’s you and stay with him no matter what. But conversely, don’t let the many choices paralyze you. If you do that, you might never connect with anyone.

 

 

Second, there’s a lot of competition out there.

 

You might not like this one, but it’s true. Just as there are more opportunities for you to meet more men, there are also more opportunities for those men to meet more women. You’ve got some competition.

 

Where this becomes a problem is with initial contact. Many women feel that their profile pictures must be absolutely glamorous shots to attract attention. Similarly, some women end up lying in their profiles in order to be at “the head of the pack” so to speak.

 

While it’s tempting to bend the truth in order to rule out competition, perhaps the simple reminder that you will eventually need to meet the men you are texting and IM-ing online in person will snap you back to reality. You shouldn’t flat out lie just to be “better” than the rest of the single gals out there. Let your own personality and beauty shine through so that you’ll find someone who’s a true match.

 

 

Lastly, we’re largely living in a fantasy world.

 

Many of the women who are in the online dating pool have ultra high expectations. Hey, that’s not a bad thing! But you can’t form your expectations around fantasies. That is, you’re not going to end up like Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. You are not Elizabeth Bennet from Pride & Prejudice. Sorry, hun.

 

But don’t let that ruin your fun. Listen, the perfection of that muscular, super-tanned, Italian hunk (or whatever your fantasy is) is flat out unattainable. What you’re looking for should be a partner, a real human being you can live with, have fun with, and share a life with. That person is out there, and he’s not a fantasy.

 

Unfortunately, the numerous choices and tough competition out there can feed on these fantasies and cause us to pass on good men in favor of someone who seems too good to be true (they probably are).

 

And this is a delusion that can keep you from love, but fortunately…

 

You can break this crazy cycle with this secret. You’ll also want to check out the following tips.

 

More Tips for Navigating the Online Dating Environment:

 

Get to know yourself better.

 

Before you can have a quality relationship with someone else, you’ve got to have a quality relationship with yourself. Get to know the real you: what activities you like, what makes you smile, and what makes you laugh.

 

When you have a solid stance on yourself, you’ll be much more able to pick through the masses of men online and find the ones who match your style. You’ll also be more competent on your own and therefore more attractive to men.

 

Don’t give up easily.

 

Online dating is difficult. You’re going to have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the one. But make sure you don’t give up, and this is key. You might feel frustrated by a terrible date or acquire a bruised ego after a rejection from someone you really liked. Don’t let this hold you back.

 

Having a quality relationship with a man can be a great improvement on your life. Just remember, dating is like looking for a job. No one’s going to knock on your door and offer you a job, right? You have to go out and find one for yourself. You might drop off hundreds of resumes and have tons of interviews. That’s the breaks.

 

Similarly, Prince Charming won’t be knocking on your door to offer you a lifetime of love and happiness either; you’ve got to go out and work for it.

 

Engage in real life.

 

Online dating is great, but don’t forget that it is possible to meet someone in “real life” with initial face-to-face contact. That’s the “old fashioned” way!

 

And yes, even video chats won’t give you the same connection that sitting in-person with someone can. Often with online dating, the IM-ing, video chatting, and emailing is where the connection is made, and once you meet in person, it’s like a light went out and there’s … nothin’. Meeting people directly in real life to begin with just eliminates the middleman. You’ll know right away.

 

Don’t be afraid to approach men first.

 

Unfortunately, women are still being held back by social conventions that have no place in the 21st century. Yes, you can ask a man out first. If he’s got a problem with it, do you really want to be with him anyway?

 

Besides, why do you want to wait for your partner to come to you? Be bold! Push aside fears and your old views about dating. Men are often thankful when a woman is the first to approach them. It gives them confidence that you’re interested.

 

Finally, Have a Little Faith

 

The last thing to remember is that faith can go a long way. Dating won’t be easy whether you do it online or in person, but you can find a wonderful relationship if you have faith.

 

Don’t get discouraged, and stop comparing yourself to others. Maybe that other couple is lucky in love but unlucky elsewhere in their lives. Or maybe the people who you think have the “perfect relationships” actually have a lot of trouble of their own. Sometimes, a woman appears to have met the man of her dreams so very quickly, but that’s because they took the first guy who came along. You don’t want that. Hold out for a great match, and he’ll be there.

 

The woman who finds the love she wants stays open to love, even when it feels difficult to do so.

 

Want to know how to get the lasting attention and affection from the man you desire? Have a look at this:

 

Attract deep lasting love the easy way with this powerful secret.

 

 

The #1 Thing Awesome Men Love In A Woman (the one they want to commit to)

The #1 Thing Awesome Men Love In A Woman

(the one they want to commit to)

by Nadine Piat

what awesome men love in a woman

Men love a multitude of things about women: their personality, their smile, bodies, feminine features and grace, the way they dress, their hair, the smoothness of their skin, and many, many more things…

 

As much as these are all great attributes that make us uniquely feminine…there is one thing that women often overlook and sometimes even fear, and is the very thing that will attract and keep the best men interested.

 

The best men; men who are ready for love and commitment look for a certain trait in a woman. Of course not all men are exactly the same, since we all have different personalities and desires, but there is one specific characteristic that the best men have in common that gets the relationship ready man, hooked.

 

A man who’s ready to commit to a healthy loving relationship is a man who knows who he is, he’s confident and astute and he’s not scared of his feelings, and these are exactly the character traits he values in a woman.

 

So, no matter how different a man’s taste in women is compared to another, and no matter if he’s English, Irish, American, Australian, Canadian, German or Chinese – they all love…

… A SASSY WOMAN!

 

A man who’s insecure, controlling, unsure of himself, narcissistic and lacks self-worth may be scared of a woman like this. That’s okay. Because the type of man who’s ready to hold you and stand by you through thick and thin will love it.

 

So why do the best men love a sassy woman?

 

Because a healthy man loves a woman who makes him a better man. A healthy man respects a woman who has healthy boundaries. A healthy man will find your confidence and clarity a turn-on.

 

He will go crazy for this side of you.

 

But here’s the bad news, which is actually not news at all: a lot of women are afraid of letting their sassy side shine through. Insecurity is one major reason for this fear, another is the fear of being “too much” or being difficult, or they pay too much attention to the outside, to their appearance.

 

Now, overcoming your insecurities takes time but it’s time well spent. Just remember you are attractive just the way you are, you are smart, beautiful and you deserve the best man. Believe it because it is the truth.

 

How about paying too much attention to appearances? That’s a very common mistake because we all naturally want to look our best for our current or future partner, right? Yet, this perfect appearance we spend so much time and efforts pursuing, is not the most important thing. What’s underneath this appearance is what really matters.

 

You know why? Because the glossy, perfect-looking girls are not taken seriously unless there is some substance under the so-called “perfect look”.

 

The problem is that we often mask our insecurities by trying to look perfect. We forget that the source of sexiness is inside us, not in the makeup kit or the closet. Your personality and your sassy and savvy character traits, make you truly sexy and magnetic.

 

So how do you cultivate your sassiness? How do you shake off this wrong assumption that looking impeccably sexy is the same as being sassy? I’ll start by telling you what sassiness is and is not.

 

1. Sassiness comes from the heart – The sassy woman is fearless and stands tall. She is grounded and heart felt. She may be small in stature or tall, either way, she is noticed by all. She has spunk and a passionate edge.

 

2. A sassy woman will attract men and scare men – A sassy woman attracts men like honey to a bee. Yet she can also repel men just as fast. It’s not because they don’t like the sassiness, in fact it’s quite the opposite.

 

A sassy woman will rattle the core of a man and only the best men are ready for her. At times she will feel confused and wonder what happened, why did he disappear? Well, what happened is that she scared some insecure guy that wasn’t ready for her. She needs to remain strong and sure of herself because the men left standing are just as spectacular as her.

 

3. She is beautifully bold – A sassy woman is direct without being aggressive or demanding. She is not bitchy, though she will at times tell you how she sees something, even when it may be hard to hear. She will be tasteful in her approach and delicate when needed.

 

Personality alone does not define sassiness. You might be somewhat demure or introverted, or you might be as outgoing social butterfly, this does not determine your sassiness. Your authenticity and delivery does. Bitchy women are not sassy, they are mean and largely insecure. You can be cheeky and witty, just do it in an empowering way – this is sassy.

 

Now, here are some tips to cultivate this important quality. It’s really not hard and it’s GOOD for you!

 

1. The Past Is The Past – Dwelling on past mistakes in your romantic life, or even other parts of your life, holds you back, fuels your insecurities, and takes away from your core essence. You can’t let your sassiness bloom when you allow the past to eat away at you, when you doubt yourself, or when you don’t believe that you deserve a loving and connected relationship.

 

A sassy woman wouldn’t settle for some mediocre compromise, nor does she give into unhealthy ways of thinking or let her past define her. When you make peace with your past and realize that you too are deserving of the best that life can give, you organically ignite your sassiness, you’re able to dance and play with life. And hey, there is no such thing as mistakes anyway, so make your past and the “mistakes” work for you, not against you.

 

2. Celebrate Your Body – Feeling comfortable in your own body is a major feature of the sassy woman. I’m sure you’ve seen such women who, regardless of their size or shape, just radiate happiness and the feeling that they are comfortable just as they are. They look really sexy, have you noticed? A sassy woman embraces her full self and also looks after it – she treats her body with love and kindness and a good dose of appreciation and honesty.

 

3. Honor YOU – It all boils down to this, after all. Look after your body and your mind alike. Stay healthy, pamper yourself every once in a while, dress in a way that looks good on you, instead of simply following the latest fad, and stay fit. Try to keep your stress levels manageable, don’t overdo the care-taking, and try to worry less. And smile, smile, smile, any chance you get. A smiling woman is a sassy woman. A sassy woman does not entertain men who are not good for her – she knows what she values and lives by these values. A sassy woman does not go against herself – she honors herself.

 

After reading the above points, can you see the magnetic attributes of the sassy woman? A man who truly wants a partner in life yearns for a woman who has a lovely mix of warmth and gentleness, matched with a good sprinkle of authenticity and edge. He wants a life companion, a woman he can grow and evolve with, not a wallflower or a damsel in distress.

 

Be sassy and delighted with yourself, and you won’t believe how easy it will become to attract the right kind of man.

 

P.S. I’ll actually let you in on a little secret: there are four traits that keep the best men interested. Sassiness is one of them – do you want to know the other three?

 

=> Find out what they are by following THIS LINK. xo