The Real Reason Sex Gets Worse Over Time, And EXACTLY What To Do About It At Any Stage

The Real Reason Sex Gets Worse Over Time,

And EXACTLY What To Do About It At Any Stage

 

 (Plus, How I Went Bald … And Saved My Sex Life Doing It.)

By Mirabelle Summers

the real reason sex gets worse

 

 

Hi guys, it’s Mirabelle here, and today I want to talk about SEX.  Here’s a question from Nora …

 

Hi Mirabelle,

 

I have a question about sex.

 

I love sex. I LOVE it. But recently it’s gotten boring … and I miss the craziness and the passion and the feeling of being wanted.  I miss it a lot.  How do I bring it back? 

Am I being stupid or naïve to hope that my boyfriend and I can have an amazing passionate sex life that doesn’t die away over time?  

– Nora

 

Hi Nora,

 

Thanks for your question.

 

I have to admit, I chose this question because I read it and winced.  As someone who frankly NEEDS regular, hot sex to feel in any way normal and truly alive, I read your question and just KNEW I had to tackle it right freaking now.  Because hey … I can relate to your problem.  (And I’ll prove it by telling you an extremely personal and somewhat embarrassing story about my own sex life just a few paragraphs down.)

 

First though, I’ve gotta admit …

 

You haven’t really given me much to work with here.  (I mean … how old are you? How old is he? How long have you been together? Do you live together? What’s the story here??  So, I’ll do the best I can with what I’ve got …

 

Which means it’s time for my embarrassing and DEEPLY personal sex story.

 

It’s hard for me to even ADMIT this, seeing as I’m a professional relationships coach (and an Amazon.com #1 bestselling author to boot …)  But, something most people don’t know about me?  I used to be the QUEEN of boring sex.  In ALL of my committed relationships.  

 

Every single relationship I had?

 

We’d start off crazy and intense and hyper-sexualized.  We couldn’t wait to RIP each other’s clothes off and have crazy wild gorilla sex in every room of the house.

 

… And sometimes outside in the garden.

 

… And sometimes in the bathroom at dinner parties.

 

… And sometimes …

 

… well, you get the idea.

 

But as the months (and eventually YEARS) passed, the sex that used to be scorching hot somehow turned into ‘comfort sex’. Sex that was the physical equivalent of a pair of slippers.  Sex that was comfy and warm and familiar… and BORING.  Sex that you wouldn’t want to wear with a hot dress.  Sex that you would NEVER wear out on a hot date.  (Ummmm … is it just me, or is this analogy getting super weird? 😉

 

So here’s what I’d do:

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These “Playful Little Lines” Set Off Chemical Attraction in His Brain

These “Playful Little Lines” Set Off Chemical Attraction in His Brain

by Faye Roberts

Love Hormone

 

Ever wonder why some women easily get men to adore them while you pine away after men who continue to treat you badly?

 

The majority of women think it all has to do with looks. When you get a crush, you probably pressure yourself to lose weight or get a tan, cut your hair or spend another $100 at Sephora.

 

But what if male attraction had much less to do with your appearance and far more to do with the language you use?

 

The key lies in science.

 

Men, like women, have a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. It’s the latter that always wins in the end, and in men, the unconscious mind can be flipped like a light switch when they hear just the right thing from a woman.

 

What you say to a man and how you say it can actually cause a chemical reaction in men’s brains, which causes them to become attracted to you.

 

The Brain Chemistry of Love

 

In a man’s brain, attraction to a woman and love for that woman are actually chemical processes. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University, says that a molecule called phenylethylamine is responsible.

 

Also known as the “Love Hormone,” phenylethylamine or PEA is a stimulant just like an addictive drug. Only this one is good for you! And when it’s “triggered,” the brain creates PEA by itself. What are the triggers? We’ll get to those later…

 

So PEA or the “Love Hormone” gets triggered in the brain and subsequently creates dopamine (as many recreational drugs like cocaine do, actually). What does dopamine do? Well, it makes you feel … AMAZING!

 

In fact, the chemical process is very much like addiction. When PEA and then dopamine is released in the brain because of an attraction to someone, you do feel like you’re on drugs, right? You wake up in the morning with a smile on your face, you seem to have a spring in your step all day, and just hearing the name of the person you care about makes you hear music. It’s like a legitimate addiction says Dr. Fisher.

 

So can you trigger a mans brain to create phenylethylamine in association with you?

 

Yep. Surprised? It seems like something straight out of a love potions book, but phenylethylamine can indeed be triggered. As scientists have found, for men, it all has to do with language. This is also one of the reasons why naughty talk is SO exciting for men.

 

The power of language is a woman’s best friend, hands down. The mental association of key words and phrases said with signature flair can stir something in a man’s subconscious, create phenylethylamine, and then create dopamine. All in association with you.

 

After all, the chemical reactions become inherently linked with the person who said those amazing things: you.

 

So what do you say?

 

Turns out there are certain lines that do the trick. When said at key moments of interaction, these are scientifically researched and proven phrases that will ignite the creation of phenylethylamine in a man’s brain and bring about an extremely strong association between you and the most wonderful feelings in the world.

 

Think simple and sweet with a little vulnerability thrown in. Guys love this. For instance, try:

 

“You know, this is the first date that excites me and freaks me out a little at the same time.”

 

Or add some intrigue with:

 

“There is so much more I want to say, but I’m holding it for the right time…”

 

Find these and many more “attraction switches”, here.   In addition to the key phrases, you’ll also learn the amazing thing you can do with your voice that will make him hot with desire.  Whew!

 

So are you ready for that guy you’ve had your eye on for months to start pursuing you? Calling you? Thinking of only you?  Or the man you’ve been with for a while to sit up and take notice again like he did when you first got together?

 

Discover the secrets by clicking here

The Key to Keeping Him Insanely Addicted (He’ll LOVE It and It Works!)

The Key to Keeping Him Insanely Addicted

(He’ll LOVE It and It Works!)

by Simone Myers

the key to keep him insanely addicted

 

These days, many women admittedly find that they can no longer keep a man’s attention long term. Even more shocking, is the fact that many women find they struggle to keep a man’s attention for even 5 minutes, EVEN if she’s known him for years.

We’ve reached a defining moment in our era, where many women have had a dating experience in which they have an amazing night with a guy, said guy tells the woman just how great they are…. only to never call back after that date.

Gone are the days when men spent weeks, months, and even years chasing down a woman, or trying to get her attention.

Instead, we find that many women have taken over the role of the chasers, in a bid to garner even just a tiny amount of affection.

And who would blame us women for doing so?

With today’s adult attention span lasting mere seconds in the fast paced world we live in, when we find a great man that we adore and who adores us long term, we most definitely don’t want to let him go.

To put it bluntly….a goldfish has a longer attention span now, than the average modern man. Crazy, isn’t it?

But before you set off on an angry tirade against men, we can’t exactly blame the guys either. You have to keep in mind the fact that they are constantly being bombarded with ads, images, and peer pressure to move onto the next bigger or better thing.

If you don’t think this is a legitimate explanation for why men’s attention spans have continuously gotten shorter, consider this:

Similar to how men are affected by external social messages, there is constant social pressure, now more than ever on women, too; to be 5 lbs lighter, have teeth just two shades whiter, dress just a little bit better, style your hair just a little bit more fuller…. The list goes on and on and never seems to end.

The fact is that societal influences and pressures can be overwhelming and can greatly impact the way we interpret the world around us, including our relationships, of course.

Still, it can be extremely frustrating, particularly when this reality takes over your love life, with men who appear to be looking for the next best thing, or with men who can’t seem to stay on the same page with you for too long.

It’s at this point that something has to give….or change. Obviously you can’t continue attempting relationship after relationship with a guy who runs around like a zebra from a lion in his love life.

And obviously you can’t constantly be forced to feel like you’re never going to be loved the way you need, and deserve from a man, because love is in such short supply.

But guess what?  There is a very easy and quick solution, because the problem you are facing….the one where you struggle to get a man to love you whole heartedly, is a problem that can easily be fixed.

The key is to use the Moving Target Method.

I hope that by now, if you’ve read this far, you’ve been having a little ‘aha’ kind of moment going on in your head, and even if not, I promise you that you’re about to, because there’s one simple fact that I’ve already revealed to you that will play an important role moving forward.

What fact is that?

The fact that MANY men struggle to keep their attention on one thing for very long.

But the secret key to this fact that you must remember is this:

Men ONLY STRUGGLE to keep their attention on you, ONLY IF there’s not enough motivation.  

So what does that mean exactly?

It means this: if you can create enough interest, or enough motivation inside a man…. He’ll become drawn to you like bees to honey.

Thus, the key to truly igniting a man’s passion toward you, or igniting any true emotional reaction from a man is to know exactly how to keep his attention sustained indefinitely on you.

Knowing how to do that is as simple as understanding a man’s core motivations.

By now you’ve probably noticed that many men of the modern era don’t like to settle down for too long. They might go on a date with a woman, and even have a great time- but still be out the next night, looking again for something new or exciting.

And even married men are guilty of ‘replacing’ their wives with other hobbies or activities that get their interest, almost reducing their women to an invisible entity.

So the key is that men CAN and WILL become almost laser focused on something, as long as they feel motivated.

Thus, learning why they become motivated is your ultimate key to truly capturing his heart.

So what motivates men then? What makes them tick? How do you get a man excited toward you more permanently?

Ultimately, men become motivated when they are challenged, or when something presents itself as a CONTINUOUSLY EMOTIONALLY REWARDING reality for him.

To best explain this, I want you to think about the most stereotypical hobbies that men have. Things like fast paced cars speeding down a road, action packed movies, and intensely graphic video games might come to mind.

What could possibly motivate a man to want to see that, be a part of it, or be taking part in that over and over again?

Well the answer is in how it makes him feel.

Fast paced cars, and explosive action packed movie sequences all have one very simple thing in common…. They’re adrenaline inducing. Men get a thrill from them. There’s an emotional buildup happening each and every time a man takes part in something like that.

It’s that emotional buildup that men are craving, and become addicted to – and they will easily and willingly partake in any activity that they feel will reward them in this exact way.

Men can easily feel this buildup around women, but the problem is that most women don’t know how to sustain that buildup.

Simply put; most women actually don’t know how to keep a man emotionally wound up over long periods of time, and thus men move on looking for the next thing that will do that for them.

Now before you go blaming men for being so darn shallow about their emotions, and before you go thinking “well why do I have to do all the work all the time…why is it always my job”… there’s one thing you must understand about men, that will make this a lot easier for you in the future.

Men don’t get the same feeling, like you do, from connecting with people through talking, and sharing their emotions.

You feel better when you are close to someone, sharing your deepest secrets… most men however, actually feel weird doing that.  Whether it’s right or wrong, doesn’t matter.  The only thing that matters is that this is the way it IS.

That is, unless, you can prove to them that emotional intimacy is emotionally rewarding, and that a buildup of positive intense emotions is going to take place.

So, the key is to learn how to create the buildup, and the Moving Target Method of course, will show you how to do that.

So how does The Moving Target Method  work?

Well, there are two simple steps:

Step #1: Shower Him With Attention For A Short Period.

Step #2: Pull Back on The Attention.

This may sound extremely simple, but keep in mind your goal is to create the emotional buildup, to get the explosive reaction of intense attraction you are seeking.

Without the buildup, what will happen is this:

You’ll shower him with attention. He’ll enjoy it. But then he’ll grow bored, and wonder “what’s next”.  When your full attention is on him day and night every day, he becomes accustomed to it and it’s no longer thrilling to get it or “special” to him.

You end up stuck on level 1, when you intended to be moving along with this man to level 12.

So the key to getting a man to BECOME insanely addicted is to give him a little piece of the pie, but to challenge him to work for the rest.

This is foundational to the Art of the Tease which men love so much.

Rinse and repeat, and repeat again.

Think of it like nourishment. Can you survive for the next 50 years, on one apple?

Heck no.

Would you want to just have one apple for the next 50 years either?

No.

Even if you could….WOULD you?

No.

It works the same way here. You build up the tension and desire by giving him a little bit of something he’s already interested in….which is you.

Men DO want to have a woman’s attention and time, but they just can’t connect with it, if it comes too easily.

Men want to feel like they’re earning it, which is exactly what step #2 accomplishes, by removing his rights and forcing him to push and pull for the right to have you back.

That’s not to say that you have to go so crazy with this technique that he doesn’t feel like anything would work, but rather, doing this in little ways each day is the ultimate key. Just like a man does on his own, when you watch him.

He thrill seeks in little ways each day to feel emotionally satisfied.

The key, therefore, to keeping him hooked in the long run is to do exactly that: give him little bursts of pushes and pulls….become the “Moving Target”.

You see something very interesting happens when you understand the buildup process, and when you become a moving target for him. You create a chase, and this chase creates an intense attraction buildup inside of a man.

This happens because first, you keep him on his toes, thus creating anticipation of the unexpected, and secondly, because you don’t allow him to take you for granted.

He’s not certain if you’re running away, and any minute he feels like this might be a loss, it’s no longer a positive emotional experience for him to allow you to leave. So instead, he’ll see it as rewarding to work to get your attention back.

And thus you form a circle of attraction, wherein he rewards you, and you reward him accordingly as you move forward or backward according to his reactions, moving like a Yin and Yang.

The key now, is to know how to implement the Moving Target technique.

You do this by using the right set of attention grabbing hooks and pulls, and by carefully releasing those hooks to keep him coming back for more.

But now the big question is, How do you implement the Moving Target technique to have a man feel intensely attracted to you, and have that attraction only build and become stronger over time?

Answering the “how” is actually surprisingly simple, but you want to be careful in knowing just what to say and do to get his attention on you intensely enough to create this reaction to begin with.

Thankfully there’s a very easy explanation, which will show you exactly how to amplify his attraction toward you, and to create the perfect tension buildup between you and him.

Watch this video right now to find out how to do it – CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO.