How I Finally Found Love When I Pulled the Plug on Relationships

I Finally Found Love When I Pulled the Plug on Relationships


You may think that “pulling the plug on relationships” is a little drastic, and maybe it is to most people.


But it’s what I did, and I lived to tell the tale. Actually, I more than lived; I prospered. Pulling the plug is what saved me.


Today … I have the man of my dreams at my side. He loves me for me, he dotes on me, and we’ve been together for several years. Every day, I feel like I love him more, and I know, I know, that sounds so stupid and cliché, but ladies, once you’ve experienced it, you know it’s not cliché.


It’s real.


Let’s Start at the Beginning


I’m sitting alone in my car in a middle school parking lot. It’s a Saturday afternoon in spring, and I distinctly remember uncomfortably shifting in my seat because of this annoying extra flab that had developed on either side of my upper back. That’s where I gain weight, and I was in a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup phase. I’d gained about 10 pounds in a month or two.


So, I’m sitting there staring at gross piles of snow, waiting. I’m waiting for a call on my cell.


The night before, I had been up late in bed texting back and forth with my ex, Jason, telling him how bad I had gotten … how upset I was after the terrible breakup we’d had. It’d been several weeks, and I regretted everything I had done, I wanted him back … needed him back I said.


He couldn’t talk right then, so he told me he’d call me the next day after he got out of work.


I was living with my older brother and his wife (I know …) at the time; I’d moved out of Jason’s house after the breakup.


I didn’t want my brother or his wife to hear our conversation: thus, the middle school parking lot.


Sitting there in my sweats, greasy hair, bags under my eyes from not sleeping, peanut butter cup wrappers on the floor, an empty Big Gulp next to me, I felt positively awful — the worst I ever had in my life. I missed Jason so much. I wanted him back so badly, and I was deathly afraid that everything was against me. I had hit bottom, but I still had a little hope.


Then it got worse.


I waited for Jason to call, and he didn’t. I waited and waited, and finally, I decided to call him.


It rang several times, then someone picked up. Someone was talking away from the phone with someone else, muffled voices, and finally, a voice came on. A woman’s voice.


“Don’t call here,” she said. “Jason has a new girlfriend, and he does NOT want to talk to you. Stop calling. Get a life.”


I was stunned. Tears instantly began to flood out of my eyes.


Then it got worse … again.


I realized I knew the voice.


A co-worker at Jason’s office. Someone I had seen and even spent time with. Someone who I had — in passing —suspected of having had a crush on Jason. And whose phone number (after some digging) I’d seen pop up on his phone when he’d left it in the other room.


You can only imagine what happened after that.


I was totally defeated. Not only had that entire relationship been a lie, but Jason had been the relationship that was supposed to be my saving grace. Before him, I had been with another guy for two years … who had also cheated.


I had absolutely no faith in men or relationships. Twice … my only two long-term relationships had ended in shambles. Cheated on twice, I had been left with almost zero self-esteem.


For a while, I went into a deep depression.


Several weeks passed, and I did almost nothing. When I wasn’t dragging myself to work and doing the bare minimum, I stayed in bed, watching TV.


Finally, one Saturday morning about six weeks after that fateful day, I heard a gentle knock on my door. I was still living with my brother and his wife, trying not to bother them but not really thinking about when I would move out or about my future. When you’re that far gone, you can basically only take it a day at a time.


I said come in, and my sister-in-law Amy poked her head around the door.


“Hi,” she said softly. I was lying in bed, and she came and sat next to me. “How are you doing?”


Not wanting to alarm her, I feigned I’d had a headache, blah blah, blah, but she saw right through me. She said she’d been watching what I was going through and she had something she wanted to tell me.


“You didn’t know me before I met your brother, but I was actually where you are right now only about three months before we met and he introduced me to you and your family. Did you know that?”


I had not. Amy had always seemed so put-together and in control. Almost annoyingly so. I told her I hadn’t.


“I was,” she continued. “I’d just been cheated on and had my heart broken, but I did something kind of weird to get out of it.”


She told me that a friend of hers had given her the advice of trying to “forget men … and relationships … completely.” At first, she thought it was stupid, but she said she did a little searching online and found that this was a way that a lot of women finally found their way out of depression after multiple relationship failures like she had been through.


She told me that she took the advice. And once she totally dropped the idea of men and relationships altogether and focused on herself, she felt instantly better.


She started hanging out with friends and family more. She focused on her health and her career. And she focused on boosting her own self-regard and self-confidence.


And she said almost two months after that, she met my brother at a hockey game.


What she said, hit me hard. All I’d ever, ever considered was how I could get Jason back or how I could make him jealous … or find someone even better to throw in his face. I’d never thought of forgetting love altogether.


So, I did it.


And when I did? Everything changed just like Amy had said.


I did a little searching of my own, in fact. Amy’s advice was helpful, but I needed something more concrete to build myself back up if I was really going to get out of my rut. In the end, I used a course to get my confidence back, and it worked wonders. If you want to try it, it honestly truly saved me. It’s called the Gorgeous Course, and it helped me to redefine how I see myself and put all my energy and focus on me and my dreams. It has some truly amazing advice that totally changed my mindset in it. I attribute my success to Amy … and to that course.


Not only did I stop attaching my self-worth to a man, but I improved my circumstances. I moved out of my brother’s, worked hard at my job and landed a promotion, joined some fitness classes that Amy was taking, spent loads of time with family and friends, and … BAM, that was when I met someone.


Honestly, it was the weirdest and most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. Since then, I’ve met other women who have found the same thing happened to them: forget men and relationships … improve YOU … and you’ll find the greatest relationship of your life.


Don’t let anyone tell you that it can’t be done either. Because I have lived it.


If you are in a situation like I was on that spring day, sitting in my car in a parking lot … you can make it out too and find the man of your dreams. Just take my advice. Use the course and don’t attach your worth to men. It’s you who makes the difference.


The Secret to Exuding Sexiness and Turning Heads Wherever You Go

The Secret to Exuding Sexiness and Turning Heads Wherever You Go


Okay, perhaps we should get one thing straight about this article right away.


It’s not going to be about any of the following:


  • How to lose weight
  • How to emphasize your cleavage
  • How to sexily swing your hips as you walk
  • How to give bedroom eyes
  • etc.


In other words, the word sexiness in the title may evoke images of Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch, and Sophia Loren. But you should understand by now that possessing real sex appeal that actually does turn men’s heads wherever you go … that doesn’t come from boobs, hips, and heaps of makeup.


When it comes to attracting men with sex appeal, it all comes from the inside.


You can hear it from a sex goddess herself:

“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within. It is something that is in you or it isn’t, and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips.”

–Sophia Loren


How to Exude Sexiness: The 3 Crucial Steps


­So if it’s true that sexiness doesn’t come from physical attributes and it does come from within, exactly where from within does this sexiness originate? Well, the following steps will show you. Here’s what it takes to harness your inner sex-goddess:


  1. Know who you are.


Sounds easy enough, but hold your horses. Knowing who you are doesn’t mean knowing what your favorite color is, what books you like to read, or how you like your eggs cooked.


It means understanding your deepest core values, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and realizing what you want to have accomplished when you’re in your 90s.


Here are two ideas to start exploring the real you.


  • Start a journal: Yeah, yeah, the old “journal thing” again. It seems like a trite cliché to write in a journal, but clichés are rooted in truth! Free-writing in a journal every day can help you naturally unlock deep desires, truths about your insecurities, and your fears for the future. This is stuff you need to know.


  • Understand your idols: Do you have anyone in your life who you really look up to? Have you ever wondered why? This is a great way to understand your own personal values and moral code. That’s because we tend to look up to people who have the values that we


For example, if you look up to Meryl Streep, it may be because she always seems calm, cool, and collected. She focuses on her children and a husband she’s been married to for decades. She also focuses on herself by putting tons of effort on her career in the arts. She always looks put-together. She appears as someone who doesn’t take crap, but she’s also reverent, intelligent, and is very compassionate.


Could it be that you look up to her because these are attributes that you value and strive for also? Again, this is what you need to know about yourself.


  1. Use the Serenity Prayer (accept yourself).


This is not a religious article, and the Serenity “Prayer” really doesn’t have to have anything to do with religion. This is the rendition we’re exploring:


Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


The first part of this text is what’s most important: “having the serenity [and confidence] to accept [and embrace] the things [about myself] that I cannot change.”


In other words: Own you. Got a bigger butt, button nose, huge forehead, etc.? Own it. You can’t change this stuff, so start loving it TODAY. Now that is sexy.


But you should also understand that putting your best foot forward is also sexy. That’s the second part: “having the courage to change the things I can.”


Do you not like having gray hair? Does it limit your ability to feel confident and sexy? That’s something that’s pretty easily changeable, and if it will enhance your confidence and sexiness, have the courage to change it!


It’s really about looking at yourself critically AND with love. We said earlier that sexiness is not about what’s on the outside, and that’s true. It’s about how you perceive yourself on the inside.


  1. Redefine Sexiness


Again, whether you see yourself as sexy or not has almost everything to do with how men see you too. If you want to attract men and instantly trigger their sex drive and lust for you, then what’s most important is that you see yourself as sexy and lust-worthy.


Now this may seem kinda funny, but it’s true! And furthermore, it puts the ball in your court. Which is great.


If all you have to worry about is whether or not you find yourself sexy (so that men will, in turn, feel the same, and they will), then you make the rules.


You can define SEXY however you want.


So the final step in learning to exude sexiness is to redefine what it means to be gorgeous and irresistible.


Think about it. You can give sexiness a whole new meaning.


The best way to do this? Take a class.


Honestly, it’s the simplest and most effective solution. The one that most women have found amazing success with is called the Gorgeous Course.


This course teaches you exactly how to redefine what it means to be sexy in your mind so that you can finally take control of your confidence.


If you take this guided course to redefine what it means to you to be sexy and gorgeous, and if you use the other two steps we talked about, you’ll be amazed at how your life will change in an instant.


Let’s just say “turning heads” is an understatement … so get ready! 😉


Switch On, Switch Off: Solutions for Becoming an Irresistible Bombshell Overnight

In order to become a man’s obsession, his addiction, you’ve got to know what makes him operate.


Every woman has that one special man she can’t stop thinking about.

For you, this guy might be your current boyfriend or husband.

Or perhaps it’s a guy you just started seeing … or one who has no idea you’re even into him at all!

Regardless of what your status is, we all have that one object of desire. We think about him all the time. We’re probably even a little obsessed.


And in return … we want him to be obsessed with us.


Come on, you know it’s true! You don’t want to be “just some woman” to him. You don’t want to be “a good woman” in his eyes.


You want to be the best woman! You want to be adored by him. Even more than that, you want to be the one he can’t live without.


Every day, you should be the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning. Last thing he thinks of when he goes to bed. He’s thinking about you all the time. Everything reminds him of you.


If he’s not with you, he’s wondering what you’re doing. He’s desperate to know what you’re doing, in fact.


In short, we want to be his addiction.


Okay, do you have this man in mind?


And … how are things between the two of you?

Does he adore you?

Are you his obsession?

Is he completely and utterly addicted to you?


If not … well, this is for you, doll.


Because what you need to know is … you can make him become addicted to you.


Just gotta know one essential thing about how men operate.


The Secret to Man’s True Desire


In order to become a man’s obsession … his addiction … you’ve got to know what makes him operate.


And this leads us to one crucial feeling that men are constantly seeking.


No. Seriously. I’m not sure this is fully sinking in.


This One. Feeling. is what Makes. Men. Tick.


Okay, here goes.


Let’s start with a question: Have you ever heard the expression “The thrill of the chase”?


It’s a fairly common one—used to denote the excitement one feels when trying to accomplish something difficult. Notice, however, that the expression doesn’t say “The thrill of the accomplishment.” Rather, the emphasis is on the … well, the hard part: the chase.


This is noteworthy for us why, you ask?


Because it’s exactly the sentiment that applies to men when they’re courting or trying to impress a woman.


It isn’t the success part of the work that gets their motors runnin’. Okay, maybe for a slight moment after a woman finally, finally says that “Yes, I will go on a date with you” or “Yes, I love you too,” the man will feel a warm sense of triumph over his accomplishment.


But it doesn’t last.


And for the most part, it’s still that thrill of the chase, the hunt, the work if you will, that keeps him going, striving, and super interested in whatever woman he’s attempting to, ahem, conquer.


And this can all be narrowed down to one word:




Men want a challenge. Whatever it is, they want to work for it.


Give a man a cushy, respected, well-paying job that he didn’t earn, and he’ll quit.


Give a man an amazing body that is always perfectly toned no matter how much he eats or how much he works out, and he won’t appreciate it. In fact, he’ll probably be annoyed by it.


Give a man a beautiful, slender, hard-working, funny, doting woman who adores him (the “perfect” woman), and he’ll break it off.


So … huh!?


Yes, it’s a little confusing. Let’s explain further.



No Challenge … No Desire


We all know that men want to be protectors. They want to be hunters. They want to be protagonists in the narrative of the world. But what do all of these “roles” have in common?


They’re challenging. And they give him an adrenaline rush.


What’s adrenaline?


It’s a hormone that comes about in times of high stress, strain or pressure. For example, when you’re up for a big job promotion that you’re *worried* you won’t get … adrenaline hits.


Or when you’re getting ready to go on a date with someone, but you’re *worried* they won’t like you … adrenaline hits again.


Notice the word “worried”?


Yeah, you’re gonna have to make him a little worried. More on that later.


Back to the point. If a man isn’t challenged in some way … if he doesn’t have to work hard to achieve something … he could care less.


Get it now?


If your man doesn’t have to work for you … fill in the blank … he could care less.


This is not a position you want to be in.


So, what does this mean?


It means that even if you already adore him and feel a strong pull to dote on him and make courting you suuuper easy on him … STOP. NOW.


Because you’re going to need to keep him “on his toes” in order to keep him addicted to you. Keep him worried. You see, there’s a lightning-fast adrenal buildup that happens every single time a man is doing or thinking / imagining anything that is a super big, stereotypically masculine obsession.


And “getting” a “difficult-to-get” woman … is definitely a masculine obsession.


Don’t worry, this isn’t difficult if you know what to do, and it’s also not a trick. This is actually a mating tradition that’s common in numerous types of animals. Just so happens it’s also a human thing.



So … How Do Women Tap Into This?


We’re already over the first hurdle. You now know that throwing yourself at him and being at his every beck and call is not the way to get him addicted to you.


Now the issue is that many women simply don’t know how to go about harnessing this challenge and adrenaline rush in their men.


It might be easy to assume that all it takes to stimulate a man is to appear sexually attractive, but the truth of the matter is … it takes something much more complicated and thought-out to tap into this reservoir of endless attention that a man gives to his most cherished hobbies (women).


Well … to put it simply, you must learn the little-known ability of keeping a man constantly emotionally wound up.


So now the question is how do you do it?



How to Make Any Man Feel “Challenged”

(and Therefore Obsessed With You)


  1. Show you’re in demand.


Don’t lie, but don’t make obviously evident your dearth of date and outing options either.


Instead, make sure you refuse / reschedule his first few ideas for getting together. Or if your boyfriend / husband wants to see a movie this weekend? You can’t, you’re busy. Yes, maybe you’re “busy” cleaning out your closet or going to the mall … but he doesn’t have to know that. You’re just … busy. You have other options; that’s key.


  1. Be self-sufficient.


Women understand that men want to feel needed, but keep this in mind: you need to be choosy with how often you need him. Don’t need him for every little thing, or again, it will be too easy for him.


Ask him to reach a box that’s up high every once in a while, but then change your own tire and tell him the story a few days later. He’ll freak and wonder: “Wait a minute, how’d she do that herself? She’s comfortable without me …?”


  1. Have your own hobbies and interests.


You love him. Or at least you’re super into him. So naturally, you think loving everything that he does is a good idea.


Not so, darling. In fact, it’s more about having your own hobbies and interests. Again, he’ll be miffed (aka stressed) that you’re so interested in things that have nothing to do with him. This will stress him out … and he’ll feel challenged. See what we’re doing here?


  1. Use the right words.


Language is everything. In all of the above tips, you need to use the right language or they won’t work. For example, if you want to reschedule his invitation for a date so that you’re more of a challenge … you can’t just say “Heck no, I’ve got plans! Haha SORRY!”




You need to say something like “Oh shoot, I’d love to, but I have friends from out-of-town coming in. Maybe next week?” It’s short, it reveals that you’re in demand, but it’s friendly too. It shows that you’re still interested in doing something later.


But what is the right language in other situations? Well, remember that the goal is to get him wound up. So, you’ll need some very special phrases. This can be hard. Lots of women have had easy and quick success using Love Commands. These are little, easy-to-remember phrases that you can use with any man, and they seriously work like a charm. Really, no thinking and worrying whether they’ll work or not on your part. Try them!


So if you do all of these things? You’ll start to notice some things …


When he’s around you, his breathing will get a bit faster … you might even see him start to sweat a bit … he’ll begin looking at you more … you’ll actually catch him staring …


And if you keep it up (remember, “the thrill of the chase!” … keep him on his toes!), if you keep it up … I guarantee he’ll be yours forever.