Are you always wanting to have sex more often than your partner?
Or maybe you’re the one who tends to put off hanky panky?
First of all, just because you two aren’t having sex every day … or week … or even every few weeks … this doesn’t mean that there’s inherently trouble in the relationship.
You might just be in a slump.
Hey, life gets in the way sometimes. You’re both busy. It’s understandable.
With that being said, study after study suggests that more sex means a more meaningful union between two people.
When you have sex more often, it ties you together in an intimate way that then extends to other parts of your life. In the relationship, we’re talking:
- Less fighting
- Less cold shoulder and passive aggressiveness
- More kind words and doing nice things for each other
- And more support
Individually, having more sex means:
- Better mental health
- Less depression
- Lower BMI
- A more radiant appearance (yes!)
After all, having a partner in life should be adding positivity to your life not making it more stressful.
So! In order to get you more in the mood, let’s turn to the experts in this field—AKA, couples who have sex all the time.
10 Things Couples Who Have Sex Often Do That You Should Too
By: Faye Roberts
- They flirt.
These couples don’t expect to jump in the sack with no setup. Flirting heats things up. They tell each other how fine they look in that [dress, button-down, t-shirt]. Or give a little passing butt squeeze.
- They go on dates.
Again, it’s all about the setup. Dates involve:
- Alone time (no kids, no bills, no TV)
- Flattering clothes / getting gussied up
- Staring into each other’s eyes
And this makes all the difference.
- They put it on the calendar (and never miss an appointment).
When life gets busy, sexually successful couples set aside scheduled time for love making. This is not cold and calculated like many people assume. It’s smart. As with anything in life, you need to prioritize important items that you want to accomplish … or they’ll never be accomplished. Sex is important.
- They start slow.
These couples don’t jump to the main deed when they have sex. Whether it’s a slow massage or some dirty talk, they know they’re always time for foreplay.
- … or they just do it.
On the other hand, if these couples aren’t exactly in the mood when the scheduled time arrives, they don’t just forget the whole thing. Instead, they go to town. Sometimes, just “getting in position” is all you need to get revved up.
- They act like 20-somethings.
Let’s look at a relationship between two people in their early 20s. They probably want sex all the time, and they usually have it all the time.
This often means doing some “unconventional things” like having a quickie against the hallway wall, doing it on the floor, or trying crazy positions in the shower.
- They take turns initiating.
Just like taking turns with cooking, cleaning or taking out the trash, you can take turns initiating sex.
- They know how to get in the mood.
When they know sex will feel good but are tempted to just each tacos in front of the TV until bedtime, sexually active couples pull out their secret weapons.
These are different for every couple, but they might include: Reading from a dirty novel, giving each other massages, or setting up a nice two-person bubble bath.
- They know each other’s turn-ons.
Smart couples keep mental logs of their partner’s turn-ons. Maybe your wife goes crazy when you give her that once-over “you’re so sexy” look or when you put a suit and tie on. Maybe your guy loses it when you wear that red dress or lightly scratch his scalp.
Use these cues to start something up.
- They talk about it.
Finally, couples who have sex on a regular basis talk about sex. They’re not afraid to mention it—yes—even when they’re not in the middle of it.
They bring it up at dinner, when they’re driving in the car, over text message.
And if one of them feels like they’d like to have more sex, they sure as hell aren’t going to just be silently grumpy about it. They’ll pipe up.
So our suggestion is to start here if you’re really lost about how to have more regular sex. Certainly incorporate some of the other tips above to get the ball rolling, but also have a decent discussion on the topic.
Here’s an example:
Start by sending a sweet text to your partner asking to go on a date.
Put it on the calendar and make your reservation for early enough that when you get home you won’t be so tired that you immediately crash in bed. In other words, leave time for scheduled sex after the date.
Then, on the date, flirt. Compliment your partner, butter them up and get a little dirty talk going (when no one’s listening). Talk about having more sex—staying in flirtation mode. Say you have been thinking about it all day and you’d love to do it that evening.
Now, if you’ve found yourself thinking “I can’t flirt!” or “I have no idea how to use dirty talk …”, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Lots of women struggle with this, and to be sure, it’s not really something you can learn over night.
One tip we recommend is to ask questions. This gives you some verbal cues, then puts the ball in his court. Try these:
- “Would you like it if I … [sat on your lap, touched you here, etc.]?”
- “How do you want me to touch you?”
- “Tell me what you like …”
Questions will get you started, but later, you’ll need to pipe up again (it’s all about keeping the dirty talk going!), so that means you may need a little more advice.
The Language of Desire can make any woman an expert dirty talker. It’s already helped an enormous amount of gals overcome their dirty talk fears and other sexual hurdles that keep them from letting out their true inner sex goddesses.
To get at all the goodies The Language of Desire has to offer, just sign up here. Using the program creator’s key insights and wisdom in conjunction with these tips and tricks from sexy couples will transform your life in the bedroom in ways you never thought possible.