Have you ever sat down and thought about the amount of time you spend trying to be the kind of woman you think men will want?
Chances are it’s full-time job level.
That’s what most women end up doing.
First, there’s your looks: The goal is sexy and attractive at all times.
Then there’s the cultivation of your laid back, fun, but also worldly and interesting personality. Also: Never needy.
Yet there’s something crazy about this process.
You spend all this time and effort making him see just how amazing you’d be for him…
How great his future would be if only he would choose you…
And does it work?
How can you work this hard for nothing?
How can he just take you for granted, if he even takes the time to notice you in the first place?
Could be immaturity, right?
He doesn’t see how amazing you are until he can’t have it anymore.
…he’ll never get it…
Because you’ve been doing all the work for him.
He’ll ONLY Value a Relationship if He Has to Work for It
Here’s a fact:
Men want to work hard to get things. It’s the only way they’ll value anything in life.
Give a man a college degree for nothing, and he could care less. Give a man a college degree after he puts years of hard work and effort into it, and he’ll value it to the highest degree.
Same concept: Give a man the perfect woman for nothing, and he could care less. Present him with a woman who he must woo for weeks to get a date from, and she will be the thing that he values above all else in his life.
It’s playing hard to get at its finest.
But, there’s one HUGE problem with playing hard to get…
What happens once he’s already “won” you?
The chase is gone.
The thrill is gone…
To him, it’s like a big “Game Over” sign appears, and they’re finished with the challenge.
Basically, on to the next “catch.”
How can you stop this!?
And how can you ensure that you will be the apple of his eye forever…
Not just at the beginning.
This Is a Problem for ALL Women
(That’s Why They Request Help)
Giving up on love is something that many women do.
They give up because they’ve been hurt too many times before. They’re done trying to get close to men…
Only for it to fail yet again.
On the other hand, some women get help.
And James Bauer, successful relationship coach, is one of the first people these women turn to.
James saw that many of his female clients were approaching him with the same problem: Guys who were constantly blowing hot and cold. Back and forth.
Things would be going great and then…
Overnight, they would change.
A man who was once intensely interested, loving and affectionate…
Would suddenly turn cold and distant.
He wouldn’t smile when he saw her. He would peck her a kiss instead of giving a deep embrace. He wouldn’t even make eye contact. And then he’d have to run. Never having any time for her.
James delved into the dilemma, hoping to right things for his clients.
His discovery made everything come together.
He saw immediately what was happening, and it had nothing to do with anything “wrong” with these women.
He saw instead what was missing that the men needed. And why they backed away because of it.
He named it “The Hero Instinct.”
(You can listen to James talking about The Hero Instinct here.)
Without Even Realizing It, Almost All Women Do This Thing That Drives Men Away
Something that almost all women possess is the amazing ability to be naturally caring.
Just think about all the wonderfully loving and caring things that you do for your man.
You’d do anything you could for him. You make time for him whenever he needs you. Even when he doesn’t ask, you’re looking after him.
But by doing all of this, you’ve actually taken something away from him.
You don’t realize it.
But it’s absolutely key…
Because without even knowing it…
You’re pushing him away.
By taking away his purpose.
His goal is to be your hero.
Not the other way around.
But that’s what’s happening.
Men adore any type of hero. Superheroes in Marvel comics, heroes in movies, amazing sleuth detectives, cowboys…
In all of these scenarios, the hero not only saves the world…
But they get the girl as well.
And this is exactly what every man on Earth has dreamed of growing up to become since he was a child.
Most men have a rough time of achieving this dream though.
After all, most men can’t indulge their world-saving dreams at their 9 to 5 jobs. They can’t rip off their suits and ties to reveal a superhero costume and then save the day.
Life just doesn’t make these types of dreams possible.
Men can achieve part of the hero dream.
They can get that girl…
The one who needs a hero.
And that’s exactly what men want to do.
Winning the heart of a girl takes superhero charm, confidence and special immunity to difficulties and pain.
It’s a worthy challenge for only the best of men…
But first he needs that special girl…
…one who’s looking for a hero.
Are You That Girl?
Okay, okay, we get it…
You’re not that girl.
Because you’re independent.
You drive stick. You can change a tire and fix a leaky faucet.
That woman on Jerry Maguire needed a man to complete her. Not you.
But you have a lot to offer, right?
You’re honest, kind, giving, genuine. Loving.
What lucky man wouldn’t want to be the one to receive all of these amazing qualities?
Where is he?
Well, he’s not anywhere near you.
Why on earth would a hero show up in your life when you’ve already got it all together?
You’re not getting heroes.
You’re getting takers.
The ones who show up, make you bend over backwards, break your heart, and leave you high and dry.
You’ll only get a hero if you advertise for a hero.
Here is how:
3 Ways to Welcome a Hero into Your Life … Today
- Ask a man to help you.
Ask him anything: Advice on buying a new car. Why your computer is doing that weird thing. If he can get that jar on the highest shelf.
And when he graciously helps, smile that classic warm smile of his and give him a big, genuine thank you.
It’s not something a needy woman does. It’s something a woman who has room in her life for a quality man does.
- Enjoy a man’s company.
Let him be a man and appreciate that about him. Guys love this.
His apartment is chock full of sports memorabilia? So what? His kitchen is dirty? That’s not a crime. He could talk about car engines for hours?
Well. He’s a man.
You’re a woman. You’ve got that side covered. Now let him cover the male side. Together, you make perfect sense.
- Allow him to work to earn your respect.
A great hero loves a challenge.
So, don’t reward him just for showing up somewhere. Just for picking you up or opening a door for you.
Don’t give him your love for free left and right.
Make him work for it.
He wants to work for it.
A woman’s eternal, passionate love is what men crave. But even more than that…
They crave a challenge.
You must give him the opportunities to meet these challenges, however.
And this is an amazing gift because it allows you to both sit back and relax while he works for you and win his undying affection and love.
What Mastering These Key Strategies Will Do a Man
If you follow these 3 things…
- You ask him for the kind of love that only a man can give you.
- You show how deeply you enjoy the company of men.
- You allow him to win your admiration and respect.
The guy in your life will respond immediately.
You’ll be amazed.
He’s been searching everywhere for a woman who can need only him, who likes his company, and who respects the person that he is working his hardest to be.
These are the only 3 things that he needs.
But you were trying to be the woman with the best body.
You were trying to be the woman who would do everything he needed for him.
You were trying to be the woman who would give him your unconditional love no matter what.
And he wasn’t looking for any of that.
Instead, he wanted the woman who would make him her hero.
He knew that when he found her, he would never let her out of his sight.
If you’d like to know more about making him the hero in your life, see this short video.