He Has A Secret Online Dating Profile. Should I Trust Him?

He Has A Secret Online Dating Profile.  Should I Trust Him?

by Michael Fiore

he has a secret online profile

 

Miranda asks…

“Hi Mike, I just ended my 4 year relationship ( that I thought was heading towards becoming engaged in the very near future) because I found out that he had a profile on a dating site geared towards discreet affairs. I’ve been caught completely off guard and devastated by this discovery.  Infidelity is the one thing I’d thought I never had to worry about with this person! He is currently trying to get me back by telling me that while he did have a profile and frequent that website, that he only did it for ‘entertainment purposes’ and never intended to actually meet someone and cheat. I’m wondering if you can address this issue.  (Unfortunately I’m not the first in my group of friends to experience this recently.)——why do seemingly faithful men, who say they love their partners choose to be on these sites?”~ Miranda

 

Hey Miranda,

Thanks for your question and sorry for the nuclear destruction of your relationship.

If a guy in a relationship is on a site like that it means one of three things:

  1. He’s a cheating s-o-b who’s looking to sleep with other girls on the side. (The funny part about that, of course, is that men outnumber women on these “fling” sites by a factor of at least 100 to 1. I’m not saying women don’t cheat – they do – but most women find the idea of just hooking up based on a online profile kind of hilariously distasteful. And I promise the the few women who DO go onto sites like this don’t look anything like the Venusian beauties they put on their homepage to snag guys like your boyfriend.)

  2. He’s feeling the pressure of moving towards getting “truly committed” in the not too distant future and is using a site like this to find out if he could actually do “better” than you if he were single. (By the way, women do this kind of thing too.) Basically, before he puts all his eggs in your womanly basket he wants to know if you’re the “best” he could do.

  3. He wants to feel wanted.

OK, let’s talk about that third one.

In my “Secret Survey: What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Can Never Tell You”  program I talk about the sad fact that most straight men simply never feel truly sexually desired by women. It’s a trick of human psychology that men are WAY more visual than women are, and most guys get depressingly used to the idea that turning a woman on is a lot of work.

It’s also a fact that men (and women too actually) crave sexual variety. We can whine and moan and complain about it all we want but the fact is that the human mind has a really, really hard time staying sexually attracted to and focused on just one person for any significant length of time.  That’s not to say that it doesn’t happen because it does.  All the time.

So, assuming he’s telling the truth and wasn’t actually going to sleep with anybody he met online – and again, there are VERY few real women on there – then what he meant by “entertainment purposes” was . . .

A. He wants to feel sexually desired by somebody other than you and wants to be objectified for his rippling abs. (If he has said abs.)

B. He wants to know he COULD sleep with other women (even though he “never” would.)

C. He wants to look at photos of a$$es and chests of “real people.”

D. He wants to flirt and have the thrill of the chase again.

And yeah, there are guys who really are 100% committed to their relationships who create profiles on sites like this in the dead of the night.

Now, was YOUR boyfriend going to cheat on you?
No idea.

I do think it’s 100% possible that HE thinks he was just playing and wasn’t taking it seriously.

But if the right kind of hottie had written him online?
Well, he might give in to temptation.

Should this be the absolute killer of your 4 year relationship? Only you can make that determination, but before getting back together with him you should at least go see a couples counselor together to work through this.

Best wishes,

Mike

 

More about “Secret Survey: What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Can Never Tell You” 

 

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To check it out, click here!

Article Source: Digital Romance, Inc.

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7 comments

  1. “He wants to feel wanted”??? Really? That’s a reason to cheat? Of course that’s not the most ridiculous part of this article, just the first insanely stupid thing that I noticed. Gee, what a surprise that this ‘article’ was written by a man. It is complete and utter BS. Here’s an idea – TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. If you have a problem in a relationship then you should talk to the other person about it. If you can’t, then leave that relationship ASAP.

  2. If he, or she, has an online dating profile… thats the end of the relationship. No if, ands, buts or maybes. They are either 100% commited or its done. Doesn’t matter if its a 2 week newbie thing, or a 40 year marriage.

  3. While I truly appreciate Mike’s efforts to give us boys a few outs if we ever get caught doing the same to our significant others (Bro’s before ho’s, woop-woop) I must throw my tiny two cents in and say that the attempt to justify such immorality is utter knuckle-dragging, psycho-babble, bullshit. Yes, we men are wired to spread our seed to all that attracts us. I believe that. However, along with that natural inclination, the good Lord (or possibly the evolution of nature) also provided us with thought, reason, compassion, empathy and many other very powerful tools that make up our keen minds — that also allow us to process the ramifications of our decisions before we make them. It’s disrespectful, selfish, immoral and guess what…it IS cheating folks. So to think that just because we are wired to seek out beauty, or to not remain attracted forever, or to spread our seed…does not mean we do it. If the author and those that wish to allow our natural programming to be used as an excuse for our behavior…I suggest that you all also listen closely to very strong pre-programmed desire to fly that we all have…the next time that you are on top of that building.

  4. Lmao….dating profile….oh dear….you see some woman that are lead to believe certain things choose to.go searching for the truth…or for.hidden profiles..damn glad I’m not in the social world!!

    1. This is social media. A curse of our time. And we all have to live with it. Learn to deal with all that is involved with the ease of interaction with the other element. No matter man or woman. You must love with everything you have in you. Never seeking or responding to outside attention. If you have desire or want for outside entertainment interaction or attention. Then you are not devoted to and truly in love with your partner. Just my opinion!

  5. This is social media. A curse of our time. And we all have to live with it. Learn to deal with all that is involved with the ease of interaction with the other element. No matter man or woman. You must love with everything you have in you. Never seeking or responding to outside attention. If you have desire or want for outside entertainment interaction or attention. Then you are not devoted to and truly in love with your partner. Just my opinion!

  6. I learned that a secret dating profile is only the beginning of secrets that tend to spill over. No he never dated anyone from the sites he was on. But learned he didn’t need to since he was cheating with his female clients. Dating profiles is a sign of cheating. Anything you have to hide from your partner is cheating. It will only get worse from there. If he can’t be faithful in every way possible it is time to move on.