Many women feel the pain of their husbands or boyfriends pulling away.
The hurt and sting of these feelings are 100 percent real, and they are compounded with uncertainty and confusion. It seems unfair to be feeling rejected when you have no idea what you did wrong.
Signs that he’s pulling away include:
- Open distancing—unreturned calls and texts, staying out late
- Lack of sexual enthusiasm—not wanting to have sex at all or not being a loving partner so that your needs are met as well as his
- Irritability and moodiness
Solutions to this problem run the gamut, but most are unsuccessful. For example, accusing him of cheating or similar at the second you feel any sort of withdrawal can very well push him away even further. Likewise, you may find that even a well-meaning tête-a-tête with him will only yield justifications and “you’re being paranoid” on his part. You could end up being left with the same unanswered questions.
As a relationship expert, I see a lot of women go through this, and I see how easy it is for them to become confused and depressed—and to stay in this state for months, even years, without anything getting better.
I was actually one of those women.
I was a 42-year-old, slightly overweight suburban mom.
And I used to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and basically feel like I was going to cry through the whole day.
A clinical psychologist would have told me I had chronic anxiety, and I did. But in fact, it wasn’t generalized anxiety as occurs in most patients. I knew it derived from my relationship with my boyfriend.
Kevin and I were in love, but I was so anxiety-ridden thinking he didn’t love me and that he found me repulsive that I couldn’t pull myself together. I was a mess.
I felt he was pulling away and that our strong foundation was being broken off…piece by piece, day by day. I felt he couldn’t want me anymore.
Writing this is difficult, but I’m sending it out there because I know it can help other women who are in the position I was then.
Today, Kevin and I have a wonderful relationship. Without going into too much detail, he sees me as his own personal sex goddess (!) and I feel like that too.
If you’ve been going through a similar situation, there are three things you need to learn in order to help yourself and your relationship. I used them, and it brought me where I am today.
- Know that men are more likely to cheat on a super model than they are to cheat on “regular” women.
If you’re wondering who “regular women” are, that’s you and me. And all in all, the above fact really shouldn’t be news. The next time you’re at a supermarket checkout line, just pick up a tabloid and see what beautiful starlet has just gotten her heart broken.
The myth is that men are likely to cheat. And in fact, many do. But they don’t cheat because of looks or body-type. In a recent study by counselor M. Gary Neuman, it was found that 48% of men who cheated said they did so because of emotional dissatisfaction. Only 8% cited sexual dissatisfaction as their reason for cheating.
Often, women feel unsatisfied with the way we look. We’re self-critical animals, and we nitpick every little thing we do. We can convince ourselves that our boyfriends and husbands think we’re awful.
But the thing is, all we need to do is gain a little confidence and perspective and trust our abilities to make our partners happy emotionally. Because this is what truly matters.
Source: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
- The only erotic zone on a man that actually matters is his MIND.
Lingerie, diets, toys, “sex tricks” and other similar things are the go-to for women who want to improve their relationships and sex lives. But compared to the erogenous zone of the male mind, these things are nothing. If they do anything, they’re icing on the cake, but not the cake itself.
This is because when a man looks at you, what he sees on the surface in real time doesn’t really matter. Sure, he might look at a woman’s derriere and find it attractive.
But men see “derrieres” all day long. As his partner, you want him to not just “find you attractive” but to be head over heels for you, lusting after you.
And this is possible if you can control how he feels when he thinks about you. This is the root of everything.
It’s what’s in his mind that makes him infatuated with you and just you. That is what inspires him to give you pleasure and romance you as often as he can.
- One piece of advice can help you become the only focus of a man’s every fantasy.
Being informed about the importance of taking care of your boyfriend or husband’s emotional health is vital for a solid relationship.
If you read that one more time, you’ll notice that this is a rather novel idea. It certainly is not what we’re taught as women. In fact, we’re taught quite different things throughout our lifetimes.
Think about it.
If you’re a modern woman, you likely got where you are today by being strong and independent. You were taught never to say you needed anyone else.
This is important to note because often, we carry this idea into our romantic relationships. But it’s okay, even necessary at times, to express need to your partner.
So women are taught to be independent, but we’re also taught that our physical appearance is the only way we can be attractive to our partners.
So in a nutshell, we must be emotionally independent and super hot.
But…that’s not correct. In fact, the key to connecting with your partner in a real way—both emotionally and physically—is just saying three little words of vulnerability.
I need you.
Saying this can turn your entire relationship around. Of course, there’s MUCH more to be done, because there is a giant difference between vulnerability (a huge turn-ON) and being needy (a huge turn-off).
But this is where you need to start. You can learn the rest in my presentation on how to make your partner (seriously) absolutely infatuated with you. But start here. I know it can make a difference for you, just like it did for me.
P.S. My personal story is in this presentation, which is difficult for me to share. Please know that I’m sharing it not to brag or anything else. It’s meant to help other women see what I’ve gone through and to help you improve as I was able to do.
P.P.S. Also, please know that this presentation that was so helpful to me is not a “tactic” to manipulate your partner. In a strong relationship, there should never be manipulation. Rather, this is a strategy for reinventing your connections to make them stronger and more potent. In other words, don’t worry about your boyfriend or husband thinking you’re pulling one over on him.