Am I still his soul mate?

Lip Service

I believe I found my soul mate. We found each other and were completely in love.  I feel like he completes me in every way.   He made my heart whole.   Before him, I had no idea how that felt, and I have been in very serious relationships.  We were together for a few years and due to his job (he travels), it would hurt us to not be together.  We never knew we could miss someone so much.  Well, one day maybe it was too much, he broke up with me (without getting into too much detail). We didn’t speak much for a few months.  It was hard, I couldn’t deal with the pain.  In the last few months we started talking every day.   He calls me and tells me he loves me and of course I say it back.  I still love him with all my heart and soul but we are not together.  He isn’t even my friend on Facebook.  He hasn’t brought anything up about getting back together but talks as if we will in the future, but not in so many words.  I have asked him in the past about us getting back together, but he said he wasn’t ready so I will never ask again. . What I found out was that he was talking to an old flame.  I’m not sure about much else between them, but he has left me single. I struggle with the thought of how he could love me and leave me, and leave me single. We have hurt each other in the past but never cheated or lied.  What’s going on is that its making me feel like I’m losing hope.  We talk every day but nothing really serious.  It’s not completely the same. Ii don’t know if I should hold on or let go.  I’m so lost.  It’s making me question what he truly feels for me.  Does he really think I’m his soul mate still?  Does he really love me?     Maybe he loves someone else? Maybe I’m not enough anymore.  But why wont he let me go?  I’m not sure if I want to believe in love anymore or soul mates. ~ Anonymous

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21 comments

  1. Patience is what u need.. Set him free an ignore him an if he truely loves u then he will chase after u..

  2. If it’s meant to be, he’ll be back, but if not, then it wasn’t….so, in the meantime, let go

  3. I guess it depends if the old flame is still in the picture.. If it was me, I’d tell him to shit or get off the pot… You deserve to be happy, completely happy! I understand you love him but you shouldn’t feel like you’re getting trampled on in the process. Either way, find your value, I think you’d find you’re worth more! This is only my opinion though.

  4. Soul mates being a reflection of what you need and what drives you to become aware of yourself not become something else for someone else; shine brightly just being you. Just be. Let him feel time stand still. He either will feel the roaring pain of silence and he himself will calm down or he won’t. Try 30 days. What I wouldn’t do for 30 days for a woman I loved; Unimaginable. Sounds like some don’t like inconvenience. Soul mates change the world.

  5. To me it sounds like time for you to be focusing on yourself. Sure stay in communication and continue to love this man but it looks like you could try doing so from a healthier level.
    Real love never dies but more so transforms..

    The previous NEED to be with each other so badly it hurt doesn’t sound completely healthy, and sounds like mild codependency..
    Missing someone in a relaxed way is a beautiful thing, it shows desire for affection and connection 🙂

    In regards to the current state of your relationship (as it stands now) if you love this man and you wish to keep the daily connection as you have been you should find a way to continue without pain.
    My suggestion would be to try and move on positively with all other aspects of your life. And that means relationship wise which you stated you believe he is doing too.

    Don’t close yourself off from the potential to find and fall f

    1. For another (the next one one be the soulmate you spend the rest of your life with)

      If you are sitting around waiting and hoping you are stagnating yourself and your life.

      Have fun, go out and meet people, allow yourself the possibility and experience of new love. Live. Don’t cut yourself off from others to wait for something that may or may not eventuate..

      If it is meant to be, he will always be there in the future, nothing you do will alter his decision in that regard, so please continue to live your life fully!

      And we all know someone who is living their purpose and life to the full capacity is much more attractive than someone who isn’t.
      Don’t be a doormat or a crutch. Be your beautiful vibrant self, and in that way you will attract the right love (wherever it may come from) into your life..

      Wishing you the best xxx

  6. First off, take a couple days to to yourself to reflect on this situation and if this is worth perusing with the possibility of you being hurt even more in the end. Now, if you can deal with that possibility within yourself then next you have to have “the talk” with him. Lay it out for him. First the facts…we loved, he left, you hurt, you’ve reconnected, your current relationship really doesn’t have a title, & you are aware that he has also reconnected with another old flame to an unknown extent. Next, tell him how those things make you feel. Lay it out…”I was happier than I had ever been before when we were together, I was confused when we broke up, I’ve hurt ever since, I’m confused about the extent & intentions of your other relationships and of ours too.” Something of that nature. Finally, let him know that because these facts make YOU feel the way that YOU do, YOU cannot continue as you have been. Make him aware that you have no problem being “friends” however, your friendships do not consist of daily conversations & I Love You’s. Make sure you make it clear that this is something within you. Don’t point fingers at him & say you are making me feel like this & you are causing this. Stand firm and state that you cannot stand to the side with the way you feel about him & not know that he has the intentions of mending the relationship as the soul mates you are.

    He may totally brush you off, he may break down and confess his love, he may say he’s not ready, he may say a lot of things. But no matter what you have to stand firm with your decision. You must stand you ground and let him know that you will not be his daily convenient conversation and pawn waiting for him to make a move. You are a strong, beautiful woman that does not accept being dangled over anything.

    All your asking is for him to be a man. He already knows if he intends on pursuing your relationship further. He will continue to keep the relationship at whatever status you allow him to have it at until he knows he has to step up or risk losing you forever. He may feel pressured and some may say that will push him away. Well good if it does! If he cannot perform under pressure you don’t need him anyway!

    The key is resisting the urge and give into the terms he is “comfortable” with. Dragging someone along that you know is deeply in love with you is showing no real love on your part. His actions will tell you if you were truly soul mates or yet another fortunate growing pain that will lead you into evolving for your true destiny!

  7. Base all your discernment on his actions not his words — and not what you want to be the truth. Take a step back and see what’s really going on. If he’s holding on to you but being cagey or not committing — not even a Facebook friend! (Come on!?? This is suspicious) — he’s weighing his options. You two may have had a profound connection in the past but he doesn’t value it enough to claim it now. Let him go. I know it’s painful — but better pain now than more pain later coupled with feeling foolish.

  8. Your pains are understandable, to a personal point. I love three women, in three different places, in 3 varying degrees: Friendship, romance and real-love. The distance is so very difficult, yet we all have our knowledge and care for the other, no matter how changed they are. I hope the best for you. : )

  9. We can have many many many soul mates over a lifetime. A soul mate doesn’t just have to be a romantic interest. A soul mate can be your child..your parent..your best friend. So first off I’d like to say.. don’t concern yourself with “labels.” Truth is ,he came into your life for a reason. There are really no mistakes..but always opportunities for lessons and we don’t always know the purpose for them until later. I know this is probably not what you want to hear right now, but trust me one day you will know why he came into your life. I am very aware of the pain of how separating from one you love can feel. It feels like your’e dying. It feels awful. Not talking to someone you love can be sooooo hard. Almost unbearable at times. Don’t play games and don’t keep guessing. Either come right out and ask him his intentions or continue how you are now which is uncomfortable and hurtful. I soooooo know how this feels. Also another choice is just to choose to enjoy what you have right now in this moment with him and not worry about tomorrow. Don’t ever feel “foolish” for loving someone. Love is the most natural state of being to be in. I’d say to love as often and many people as you can. It’s always worth it if you really break it down. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’ll simply do it til you don’t. Making the decision to no longer talk to him is yours to make. At one time in life..I was too scared to allow myself that gift of loving..I told myself…its easier to “cut off a finger now than your whole arm later” and I think I probably cut myself off from lots of chances to love and be loved in life. ………..Not everyone we love is meant to be forever. This is really difficult to hear when someone is in the midst of this kind of pain. Sometimes people are only meant to be temporary and many times we can look back and see that so in so came at the perfect time and we can also see why they had to leave. On a higher level..they have served their purpose during the time you had each other..not just in a romantic sense. This could be anyone for any reason. With all that being said and I know it was alot..I’d like to add.. A man who want’s you will do EVERYTHING in his power to make sure he has contact or talks to or sees you. The most important thing I can share with you is..always trust your gut. What do you really think you should do? You know deep down what the answer is. Be honest with him. Be honest with yourself. I saw this quote somewhere…” Don’t make someone a priority in your life when you’re only an option in theirs.” Good luck and remember..any pain is only temporary.

  10. I had a similar situation a few months back with my guy of 10 yrs. We are back together after he broke up with me to cheat with am online cam girl (both online and they met to make it physical). He says the reason he keptin touch with me was he found it hard to let go of the stability our relationship represented. She was the chase and I was the stability.
    Hope that helps

  11. Don’t do anything, just be yourself , enjoy your life, be happy. Keep being you, quit talking about the future, just love the now everyday. You’ll both end up with what each of you are looking for! Good Luck. Jeffrey

  12. Angel… Maybe it would help if you got busy with something’s you enjoy, get out and have some fun with your friends.
    It’s my opinion… If a man wants a woman he will do anything in is power to make that happen. It sounds like he does care for you, he calls to make sure you’re ok, and that makes him feel less guilty, it also sounds like he almost enjoys keeping you on the hook. Men are turned on by women with confidence not arrogance. Maybe if he feels you don’t need him to be happy, and sees you moving on with your life (even as painful as it is for you) he may see the light, and make a move to chase you for a change. If not; you will be proud of your self for not setting by the phone waiting for something that may never happen.
    Life is meant to be enjoyed, worry and self doubt is such a waste of previous time.
    Don’t worry… Be Happy. Go out dancing, have some fun!

  13. thanks.. guys.. its so much worse .. i know i have to let him go. but we have a baby.. but i know even then .. i know that if he truely loved me , i wouldnt be alone

  14. Beautifully said and it helps me feel validated having had experience with soulmates. Nothing`s Real but Love! And I am still open to meeting the One. Soulmates make s**t happen! We rule the Universe and take no prisoners!!
    Love and Light to you
    ~&~
    Mariola

  15. Go and get a book called The Game of Life and How you play it. Just know really he will always be in your life Although now you may be feeling down, lost, dark and just want to sleep maybe although post this saying everywhere around your home”this too shall pass” no more self pity or feel Sorry for yourself it will get you no where although start something for you and it almost like you want time to hurry so you don’t think about it. Although soul mate from the past, maybe your soul mate is in the future and why you want reassurance of your decision is because you’re doubting your own self, your good. Life is Good, look past the past, I say fake it, act like something great is happening now and everyday and something great will happen. Believe in your own wonderfulness, my thoughts