You obviously want to give your guy the best sex possible. And as you know … you do pretty darn good, are we right?
After all, you’re sexy. He’s always talking about how much he wants you. Maybe you’ve got some hot lingerie you use sometimes … you pull out the dirty talk every once in a while …and your moves? They’re killer.
So mistakes? Never.
Well, not according to most men.
Hear us out! The men who gave up these “top 6 sex mistakes women make” were not harshly critical. They were pressed for answers—asked what it was (if they had to choose) that they would change about their lovers’ sex habits. They didn’t want to tell.
But … well, yeah, they had a few.
You’re never “in the mood.”
Ok this is number one, and come on, you knew it would be. And it’s not always your fault.
Sometimes, your guy comes on to you when you’re seriously in the middle of something or when you feel like you look like crap or when … you just don’t feel like getting undressed, screwing up the bed, and taking time away from sitting in front of the TV with that big old glass-o-wine.
Well. That’s ok. But you gotta know your man doesn’t like it. First off, when you say no, it means … no sex. But it also feels bad to them. They feel rejected, and sometimes, you don’t do it so nicely either.
You never initiate sex.
We know, we know. How can you even get a chance to when he’s always doing it? Plus, it’s kind of a guy thing to initiate.
But think about it. We can kill two birds with one stone here (and get you some great sex—on your own terms). If you initiate sex more often, not only will you not have to turn him down as much, but you’ll also get to schedule it around your schedule. Plus, he’ll go nuts. Try making an effort to initiate sex at least once a week.
You’re testy in bed.
Women hate to be called a nag. It’s honestly one of the worst feelings to know that your man thinks you’re naggy and finicky like a cranky old woman.
“You put the toilet paper on upside down.”
“Could you please chew quieter?”
“This isn’t the kind of milk we buy!”
Yes, we do it. We know we do it. But we don’t want to talk about it.
The sad part of this is that quite frankly … men get scared to do anything when they know a big nag could be on the other end of it. And the same is true in the bedroom.
If you’re in the middle of having sex, and he accidentally gets your hair caught under his elbow in a position switch … learn to untangle yourself and chill. Don’t ruin the mood and make that face (you know that face). He didn’t mean to do it, and come on, did it really hurt “so bad!”? Be a little more of a sport, and he’ll appreciate it.
You make the men do all the sex deciding.
Sex deciding = The decided upon positions, moves, words, and overall mood of a sex session.
You know you do this. He wants to have sex. You’re in. But you think to yourself, he’ll be the leader. We’re not talking about domination here, per se, we’re talking about how you two tango in the sheets and progressively decide what to do.
FYI: He’s sick of doing all the deciding.
Men say that it’s not only challenging and rather tiresome to come up with new ideas and positions, but it’s also scary because they don’t know if you’ll like them or not (and they think you can be a bit critical when you don’t like them).
Furthermore, men say it makes sex less fun when they feel their partner is just like a listless passenger who literally could care less what you do. He doesn’t want to be the conductor all the time. Sometimes? Perfectly fine. All the time? Not so much.
So the next time you’re in the sack, take the lead. Start a new thread of sexy talk, push him down and get on top, or at the very least … do some of the grunt work …
You make the men do all the grunt work.
Well … yeah, it is sort of grunt work. Ever wondered why men like girl on top so much? Sure, it’s quite the view for them, but think about it: They also don’t have to do much physical work. Same goes for blowjobs.
Now, this type of “work” is much more pleasurable for men than say, chopping wood (although we’d like to see this; this might turn us on). But still … do your part. Share the burden.
You don’t respect men emotionally and psychologically during sex.
As women, we’ve sort of been trained to believe that men are these flat characters that just want sex. Anyway, anyhow. They want it, and when they get it, they’re happy.
In other words, we don’t give men enough credit for being both emotional and sensitive when it comes to sex. And they notice.
Men have said that women:
- Can be insensitive to men’s emotional needs in the bedroom,
- Don’t understand that great sex for them has both physical and psychological aspects
- Often overlook the fact that men want to be desired and also taken care of just as much as women do
So … what to do about this one?
The answer is: You’ve gotta do some research to learn about the sexual psychology of men. You can do this very easily with a program like The Language of Desire. This program takes you through the psychological approach that men have toward sex and also guides you with the following questions in mind:
- What excites men about sex?
- Why do they find it pleasurable?
- Why do they like sex with some women and not with others?
- What can you do to make it more enjoyable for them—to make them feel comfortable, safe and loved?
All of this is in The Language of Desire, and it can do a great amount for your sex life. You’ll find yourself closer to your man both mentally and physically in the bedroom. And what’s more? When asked what women could do for this particular problem, men specifically recommended this program.
(By the way, they also still love the idea about you initiating sex more often …).