Are You Pulling Your Weight in Your Relationship?

Are You Pulling Your Weight in Your Relationship?

by Claire Casey

Lots of us tend to NOT work on our love life when things are going great. Or even fine. Or even not horrible.

But a relationship is like a garden; if neither of you does ANY work on it, it may grow okay for a while, but then the weeds are going to take over and choke out anything good you had going.

It can get so tangled and overgrown (and snakey, where I live) that you eventually decide it’s not worth the work it would take to clean it up – and you would just rather start over somewhere else with somebody new.

Below you’ll find 4 underlying causes for what we think of as “laziness” or the inability to make forward progress in your life and love… AND you’ll also discover some helpful solutions for kicking lazy thoughts, habits, and causes right out of your life and love affair.




1. I’m soooo tired

Our culture seems obsessed with speed. Grow up faster, get rich quick, and hey, here’s some “fast” food, too. It’s no wonder we’re exhausted. If this sounds like you, try a few of the ideas below and reclaim some energy for the love relationship you used to get so much good out of.

  • Simplify your life (let some things go)
  • Take a regular nap (make it a priority!)
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Ask for help with tasks you must do
  • Delegate what you can
  • Exercise regularly
  • Eat healthier food
  • Take regular breaks and meditate


2. I’m overwhelmed

Sometimes we act lazy because we’re just too overwhelmed to dig into that giant pile of work. You feel paralyzed, or you start to avoid the very person you started your “garden of love” with. This can be deadly in a relationship, but there are ways to tackle it when it shows up.

Prioritize. Then eliminate all the lower items from your giant list of things to work on, and thus reduce the pile. You can always come back to the other things later, but you’ll never get to them at all if you can’t pick one thing to begin with.

Don’t prioritize. Just pick the easiest thing to start with. This is the opposite approach from the one above, but the same principle. If the object is simply to get started, it doesn’t matter whether you begin with something big – just begin!



1 comment

  1. My bf and I have been dating for a year and 1/2. We have both been though a lot in previous relationships and are learning to let go of some insecurities. Our personalities are quite opposite and this causes some bumps. I am very laid back and can be a bit sensitive. He is note high strung and well…..can be insensitive at times. I know he is trying with me and is putting effort and time into us. I just don’t know if he loves me. He won’t say it and when I mention it he seems to chuckle in a nervous way. We are both in our 40’s and I am nervous he doesnt love me, but the idea of me in his life.