12 Signs That You Might Be Dating A Psychopath (For Real)

1. They reek of glibness and superficial charm.

If a guy comes across as too good to be true, he probably is. Psychopaths are GREAT at preying on the emotionally needy, whether they be men or women. For women reading: If he’s EVERYTHING you’ve ever looked for in a man, run. Those guys don’t really exist. Same for guys.

 

2. Has a grandiose sense of self worth.

Is he/she kind of full of himself or always talking about how they’re “Better” than those around them?

 

3. Pathological lying

Do they lie easily and convincingly? If caught in a lie do they just segue smoothly into ANOTHER lie or make you feel like you’re the one who’s wrong?

 

4. Extremely cunning and manipulative.

Psychopaths see other people as about as useful as your average chair.

 

5. Total lack of remorse or guilt.

 

6. Shallow Affect

Very little genuine emotion. Laughter seems forced. Prone to anger in short bursts.

 

7. Callousness

Doesn’t seem to care about others at all. Able to kick a puppy in the face and then complain about stubbing his toe.

 

8. Unable to respect responsibility for his / her own actions.

 

9. Hyper-ADHD and a need for stimulation at all times.

 

10. Extremely promiscuous.

Just because somebody is promiscuous doesn’t mean they’re a psychopath, but all psychopaths are a certain kind of trampy.

 

11. Parasitic Lifestyle

Do they constantly find ways for YOU to pay for everything? Do they always have an excuse not to pony up money? Do they live off their long-suffering parents?

 

12. Lack of realistic long term goals

Always looking for “the big break,” or becoming a big movie star when they can’t even hold down a position.

 

And, well, there’s more but you probably get the idea.

 

Now, if you’re in a relationship with a psychopath you might not be able to see what’s really going on (because psychopaths are so damned charming.)

So you should ask your friends, your family and the person’s enemies.

 

And if they ARE a psychopath? (Or even if they’re NOT a psychopath but are obviously just using you?)

You need to get the hell out as quickly as possible!

Because a psychopath is never going to love you. Is never going to care for you. Is never going to change.

Which might be why so many women are attracted to psychopaths (Ted Bundy got love letters until the day he was executed); because they’re charming and glib and attractive and women fall into the trap of thinking they can “change him” if he just got the love of a good woman.

But this kind of person (and again, it’s 1% of the population – a lot of men and women) aren’t able to feel actual affection or love for you any more than they could “Love” a ball.

Sucks, huh?

Of course, there are millions and millions of actual GOOD men and women out there for you . . . folks who have actual emotions and are looking for something real.

Just be careful and watch for the red flags…

 

About Michael:

Blunt, funny and always honest, Michael Fiore is an internationally known expert on how to have great relationships in the modern world. In 2011, Michael appeared on “The Rachael Ray” show with his popular Text The Romance Back Program (Rachael said he gave her “chills”).

Since then Michael has given women X-Ray vision into men’s minds with hisThe Secret Survey: What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Will Never Tell You program, and taught thousands how to get their exes back with Text Your Ex Back.

Michael lives in Seattle, WA with his (amazing) wife and is currently hard at work on his next shocking, straightforward and really, really useful program.

Source: Digital Romance Inc.

21 comments

  1. While all of these sound awful, the problem is that each of these comes with a “good” side that blinds you to how bad the bad is. Promiscuous but great in bed.

  2. Having read this post, I have to ask, could this apply to a 7 year
    old girl? My fiance doesn’t fit that profile, however, most of those do apply to his daughter. How am I suppose to handle this?
    Kelly

  3. I think every one EXCEPT #1 is pretty dead on. Now, if #1 is accompanied by any others on the checklist, then, hell yeah, run and dont look back. But, seriously…youve FINALLY got the guy/girl of your dreams and you’re gonna bail on em? Ha, you’re only gonna kick yourself later when they find the one who appreciates how awesome they are

  4. What I would love to know is how do you get rid of someone like this. I had one of these people in my life and he still follows me drives by my house checks up on me and interferes in my life and does not understand leave me alone.. And dont say a restraining order they dont work..

    1. I think such a stalker isn’t the same breed as mentioned. Most psychopaths as described will not stalk you because they really don’t care about you. Once they are done, they ate done and they don’t care about the devastation they leave behind. They aren’t in it for the long relationship. They are permiscous pathological liars without remorse or regard for others feels. They fake charm, get live, pretend to give it and repeat the cycle wuth each new conquest. You have a different breed crazy and if a restraining order doesnt keep him away-enforce the restraining order anyway when he breaks it.

      1. Sandra.. I’ve have been through what you described. Every time I broke relationship off he would find me and leave notes and/or flowers on my car.. after 10yrs it is finally over. I had to convince him that he was done with me and it was HIS idea to break off the relationship. I didn’t like that it took 2yrs to do it but was definitely worth it in long run. We’ve been broke up for almost a year and now I hear from him once in a while. When I do hear from him I am civil but don’t say anything that would make him think we would ever get back together.

        1. See, that’s a whole different breed to me. Though some psychopaths can’t stand to think a woman can leave him and move on without them, in my experience with the type I thought described here, the kind ive dated, married and been friends with ( yes, theyre that prevelant) the kind to pursue is rare and would only be doing so to “win” to get to finally be the one to say its over and be done with the woman instead if feeling he lost the game or was rejected because those are the only real ” feelings” they have ( rejection/fear of failure-despite soulfully deep faux feelings and crockodile tears). In my experience ( and I have a best friend who is a soulless psychopath too) even while pursuing a woman who left him, he’d be cheating on more than one woman sometimes, having sex with several and pursing others romantically as if they were the only one for him. He’s pursued long term only the women who broke it off with him first-though like many he just walks away from them if they knew he was a fraud, a liar, cheater etc because then they weren’t worth trying to keep up a facade for. Only the ones that break up because of some other reason does he take it personally and refuses to believe a woman that doesn’t know he lies, cheats, does drugs etc could leave him for some other reason, like he failed at romance or being her hero, or being seen as a great catch, the best thing that ever happened to her etc)does he deem worthy to pursue post break up, and if overkill doesn’t do it ( flowers and notes on a car at their job etc) then he just bides his time keeping in touch and trying to keep a ” friendship” going and occasionally even an emotional connection by turning to her for help with his problems, romantic issues with his gf etc. There are many breeds I suppose, but psycho is psycho and its a vicious cycle to break things off with one, once one gets into your life.
          God help us all!

  5. Actually, I’ve read a book of a former student of Dr Hare and the checklist has 20 items, not 12. I should add you need special training to use that list correctly…. But it’s always fun to guess how “crazy” your exes are!

  6. Sad thing is, once you’ve fallen in love with a psychopath, its so intense that other men/relationships pale in comparrison. They aren’t all “psycho” in their behavior- as in mood swings or being mean etc- so by the time you realize their emotions, be it love, remorse etc are all an act and they cause devastation to each new woman/love/victim they meet (in my case a cycle of every 4 months and each woman had the same experiences and relationship with him I had) even faced with the facts you miss that ” love” you once ( thought) you had and want him back- even knowing the truth about him. In my case, my ex says he doesn’t want to be this way, tajes offense at being called psychopsth or sociopath and really thinks each relationship is the one, really thinks he’s changed or can change… But he can’t. And even though he knows this and I know this- I somehow still miss him and love him and am friends with him though even friendship with a psych is just a means to an end…ehst can they gain from it? Money, sympathy, a place to live temporarily, a vehicle to use…etc *sigh* he wishes he could feel- I know he does. He intellectually knows what he is supposed to feel and what others do…but he doesn’t feel. I think in his case it was half genetic, half environmental (part no-bond/ bad parenting, part actual physical abuse) sad thing us as non existent as his feelings are and as damaged as he is…my husband always finds a new girlfriend to fall head over heels in love with him and let’s him move in, use her car, play daddy to her kids- while he avoids parenting his own (from his first wife)- etc and I’m stuck trying to get on with my life, get an anullment all the while not angry or haying him, but loving and missing him- and if I say so in a text as he lives with his latest conquest, his answer ” come pick me up, we’ll have sex”. Because he knows I like it. And he likes it and its part of his permiscous behavior to cheat on all his girlfriends. I said no thank you. But sadly, I wanted to.
    There needs to be a survival handbook to get over living a psychopath. Clearly though not real on one side, the feels invoked are more intense and real than any poor normal guy can invoke.

    1. WOW Thank you for the response. You hit it right on the head. Its nice to hear that someone gets it, I have explained this to people for years trying to get some kind of closer. But know one every really understood what I was saying. Sometimes feeling maybe I was just lost myself. Its a crazy and bizarre experience. But this really helped put some perspective on it. Thank you and I wish you the best of luck..

  7. Sad thing is, once you’ve fallen in love with a psychopath, its so intense that other men/relationships pale in comparrison. They aren’t all “psycho” in their behavior- as in mood swings or being mean etc- so by the time you realize their emotions, be it love, remorse etc are all an act and they cause devastation to each new woman/love/victim they meet (in my case a cycle of every 4 months and each woman had the same experiences and relationship with him I had) even faced with the facts you miss that ” love” you once ( thought) you had and want him back- even knowing the truth about him. In my case, my ex says he doesn’t want to be this way, tajes offense at being called psychopsth or sociopath and really thinks each relationship is the one, really thinks he’s changed or can change… But he can’t. And even though he knows this and I know this- I somehow still miss him and love him and am friends with him though even friendship with a psych is just a means to an end…ehst can they gain from it? Money, sympathy, a place to live temporarily, a vehicle to use…etc *sigh* he wishes he could feel- I know he does. He intellectually knows what he is supposed to feel and what others do…but he doesn’t feel. I think in his case it was half genetic, half environmental (part no-bond/ bad parenting, part actual physical abuse) sad thing us as non existent as his feelings are and as damaged as he is…my husband always finds a new girlfriend to fall head over heels in love with him and let’s him move in, use her car, play daddy to her kids- while he avoids parenting his own (from his first wife)- etc and I’m stuck trying to get on with my life, get an anullment all the while not angry or haying him, but loving and missing him- and if I say so in a text as he lives with his latest conquest, his answer ” come pick me up, we’ll have sex”. Because he knows I like it. And he likes it and its part of his permiscous behavior to cheat on all his girlfriends. I said no thank you. But sadly, I wanted to.
    There needs to be a survival handbook to get over living a psychopath. Clearly though not real on one side, the feels invoked are more intense and real than any poor normal guy can invoke.

  8. This is my fiancée’s ex to the T…kind of a good description for a Sociopath also. Only difference is we’re still having issues getting this guy to leave us alone.

    1. Oh yes, Robert my almost/would be new bf can attest to that side of the psycho/socio as one reason ( other than necessities like a place to stay, money, a vehicle) a psycho/sociopath will return to a woman is because he does NOT like to share. He wants women to miss him, be heart broken, be avail to HIM still and willing to take him back in, try to save him, and/or want to have sex with him- it feeds his needs for validation and control as well as the fall back factor when he’s between cycles and needs to feel ” loved” missed etc., and perhaps the woman hes with is no longer meeting that need, sometimes the woman he chooses to cheat with is an old gf (or wife lol) because of that control. Hes happy to walk away from any woman and often doesnt think of her as long as he “won” (got what he wanted/needed, left her heartbroken, and he had someone or someone+another to cheat with) and won’t look back usually unless/until he still needs her for money or validation again- for this reason he’s got to be the one to end things and move on and she needs to be devastated or at least heartbroken…unless she figures him out, kicks him out knows him well enough to say the things that “hurt” as in damage his self esteem/ego as someone who sees the real him, can call him on with proof that he’s a liar and user and a loser and faces him with those facts instead of feeding his fantasy that everyone loves him and believes he’s awesome, or believes his alter ego the ” poor me” side where he tells a woman mid cycle of her loving him or trying to end it with him that yeah…she’s prob better of without him, he’s no good, never has been, his own mother never loved him every woman has broken his heart so he should just leave, so whether she tries to convince him otherwise or lets him go, its part of his game to keep her emotions involved and the only way he loses is if she doesnt buy it, faces him with truth, kicks him out or cuts him off….and then he fears her and/or hates her but in either case he may come back to pursue her…see her as a challenge. Esp it seems if he does drugs and during his highs fears her rejection less and can put on his best game. Otherwise a psych walks away and doesn’t look back.
      In my case if I threatened to expose him as such a loser to all his other women old or new, prospects or promiscuous pornographic girls online, he gets most scared. Now if he doesn’t feel exposed or a woman doesnt get him to fear or hate him he’ll hang on/still try to be friends or romance her sooner or later.
      Now Robert, what’s interesting to me is my estranged psycho husband who hated me for awhile, tried “cheating” on his gf with me( his wife) and failed but it didn’t phase him… But i was pulled back into a zone that wasnt a friendship, there was just after a few months no more fear or hate he/we felt. Hed/we’d gotten over that, hed also gotten over his new gf obviously, and besides his failed propositioning of me, was cheating on her regularly with another woman but otherwise left me alone completely… until he found out I was seeing a guy while preparing for our anullment.
      Make things more awkward- for him-This guy it turns out went to highschool with him, was a year younger, and they shared many ” friends” from school, the small towns around it and Facebook….he’d heard about it and our mutual friends were happy for me knowing this new guy was a really nice guy and thought we “deserved” each other.
      Suddenly I get a call the day we were to file for anullment and he’d be served and sign paperwork…he needed me immediately. He was detoxing from drugs, 3 day and wanted to ho to the hospital.
      While in the hospital he pulled me back in. He wanted to change his whole life. No more drugs ( a habit if 15 years of being drunk or on drugs hidden to friends, family, women, and employers) me, family, God, church…he wanted a wholesome life with me. After a failed attempt to release him ( he relapsed in hours) he stayed in the hospital but refused a rehab facility or program. He recuperated at my house for a few days against his gf wishes ” falling in love” -again.
      He disapeeared from a fruends family get together and went back to his gfs for a week. Texting me daily. Finally he calls me one morning a week later. ” cone get me, I used again and I will if I stay here” his gf went to work that morning thinking they were in love. He dropped her at work pretending he was heading to his job. He packed up instead and I showed up and moved him out and we dropped her car off at her work and left her to come hone to his stuff gone after they’d just moved into this new place and signed a lease. He really screwed her.
      I am his wife and though I don’t trust him or expect to stay with him, I took h back in a way. He’s living with me, we are having sex, I’m trying to help him get a new start …and I’m shocked she still would take him back, wants to. Other women are sending him porn shots if he writes ” hot” on a fb selfie and meanwhile the guy I was seeing is patiently waiting for me to get my head together and end things with him- which I will since he’s using drugs again. Nothing else I can do for this man. This psycho man. And all he really wanted was to come between me and a nice guy and get on with my life. :/

      1. I understand I have been thu a lot of ups and downs with my so called husband too. But what I still dont get to this day is why.Why put yourself or someone thu all of that. It just seems like a wasted life. But I hope things work out for you. That guy waiting for you to figure out what you want must really care about you to not walk away. But I have the feeling you dont feel the same about him. I know its hard to let things be normal after living the crazy life.

      2. I understand I have been thu a lot of ups and downs with my so called husband too. But what I still dont get to this day is why.Why put yourself or someone thu all of that. It just seems like a wasted life. But I hope things work out for you. That guy waiting for you to figure out what you want must really care about you to not walk away. But I have the feeling you dont feel the same about him. I know its hard to let things be normal after living the crazy life.

        1. Well Sandra, I’m of a mindset and a belief in miracles. My son for example, a Brain tumor survivor, is a miracle to me. My 3kids after 10 years infertility miracles. As a wife, even one with grounds for anullment, I feel a solemn duty to God and my husband- though he is psycho-to do what I can until the anullment which has been delayed, but knowing I will not live this life, I do have a light at the end if the tunnel knowing I will let him go. I think I actually needed this last dramatic episode to help me have closure. To see I did all I could as a loving faithful gf then wife, in front of God and everyone, but I can not help or change him and I AM better off without him. Maybe I’m a bit psycho…maybe I needed to “win” this and cut the loser loose on my terms lol no, but its coming to an end and when I end it it will be THE END because I’ll never even believe the lie ” I choose you, and I want to change. I want things to be different and better” no. Words. Not action. Not truth. He can hardly keep up a facade around me anymore and it depresses him. Ah well. That too us sad…but not going to be my problem. As for the man patiently waiting for me. He will have to wait for the anullment and if he’s still there he can be my rebound buddy but I can’t imagine falling in love with anyone any time sBrain

          1. *soon. Last word was “soon” I tried to correct “brain” above originally but my autocorrect went a little crazy which is funny since it let’s me misspell /have typos on everything here

          2. If you dont mind me asking how are you able to get an annulment? I thought it had to be on certain basis.