The Singleton’s Holiday Survival Guide
By: Faye Roberts
Being an unwilling singleton gives you the ability to turn just about any situation into a sob story about … well, being single.
- Trying to reach something on a high shelf turns into wishing you had a fun, tall boyfriend who can reach anything, anywhere.
- Shopping for cute, lacey undies turns into: “Why do I even bother!?”
And then of course, there’s the holidays.
Dinner invite here, work party there, attending the family gathering stag—how’s a girl to survive? Even the non-party days are tough.
Well, we’re here to tell you: Don’t Worry Girls!
The Singleton’s Holiday Survival Guide has you covered. Here goes!
When You’re Single But Not Looking
Maybe you’re coming out of a bad breakup or just need some time to yourself. Whatever the reason, not every gal who’s single wants to mingle. So …
- Make it known.
Many women are hesitant to outright tell everyone they’re single and happy about it. But if you are, then dangit you should! Tell all the family members at your big dinner. Chime in with the information when you’re with your friends at the bar. Send out a memo about it at work.
Do this because if you don’t, people will start to be super annoying about it. They’ll give you that aw, poor you look. They’ll invite you to events where you’ll inevitably be uncomfortable. Worst, they’ll try to set you up.
- Don’t feel obligated to attend events.
Even if your good friends say “Oh but there’ll be plenty of other single people there!”, this does not mean that you have to attend holiday social gatherings.
Yes, being around couples can be a challenge because it could make you sad or frustrated with your own love life. But let’s face it, sometimes they’re just boring too.
Who wants to sit around and listen to a bunch of gabbing about couple-ness? Gross. You’re free, girl! Stay away from that nonsense.
- Find other fun stuff to do.
Finally, fill any void left by not having a partner during these festive days by finding other cool things to do—there’s plenty!
Spending quality time with family or other single friends is a given. The holidays should indeed be spent with people you treasure.
But the truth is, this can be stressful too. So why not try taking a fitness or adult education class? Or go to the spa, take yourself on a mini vacay, volunteer, take your dog to obedience classes, start an artistic hobby or … go shopping! Do you know how much money you’re saving by not having a partner? On hair removal products and birth control alone …
When You’re Single and Lookin’
Ok, now for those who are actively looking for love during the holidays.
- Be on the social warpath.
No one who’s unemployed expects to find a job by randomly locating one at the grocery store, or on public transportation—or for that matter—while sitting on their couch at home.
The same goes for finding a mate. If you’re looking for someone to love you, you have to go out there and get it. Make it your mission.
The holidays are a great time to do this. Meet up with friends (and friends of friends), go to festive parties, and don’t skip that work bar crawl either—you never know where you’ll find Mr. Right.
- Have your own party.
If your inbox and mailbox aren’t being flooded with invitations, don’t worry! Just have your own holiday party. Make it fun with a theme like “Ugly Holiday Sweaters” or “Christmas Karaoke.” You could even do a gift exchange or decorate gingerbread houses.
- Avoid acting desperate.
This one is not meant to hurt or criticize. The truth is, we can all get a little loopy when we’re single and desperately want to find The One.
The advice to “avoid acting desperate” is actually meant to save you some stress and grief. While you should definitely put yourself out there and be social so as to have the best chance at finding love, being overly aggressive during courtship can scare off a potential romance. Plus it can majorly stress you out.
The Guide for All Singletons
Now some tips for all single gals during the holidays.
- Work on yourself.
This is the perfect time to look at what you want out of life. Better yourself in ways that are difficult to accomplish when you’re in a relationship. Take a step back. Journal, read, get healthy, shop for yourself, look fabulous, feel fabulous.
- Take a cue from Charlie Brown.
You don’t have to be Christian (or a Charlie Brown fan) to get the gist of this timeless message: The holidays are for family, friends and love of all kinds. Being in a relationship is not the only way to be happy this time of year. Embrace the love you do have in your life.
- Savor this time.
Being single during the holidays is not the burden you may think it is.
You might lie in bed alone and imagine every couple in the entire world cuddling beneath their own plaid woolen blanket before a roaring fireplace with cups of hot chocolate and blissful happiness.
If you do this …
Shame on you. You know very well that this is absolutely not how it is to be a couple during the holidays.
More than likely, we’re talkin’ these scenarios:
- Huge fight about who’s parents house they’re going to for holiday dinner.
- Woman racks brain to find perfect gift for husband. Finds perfect gift. Costs arm and leg. Gives gift. Gets snowflake scarf from gas station in return.
- A week-long visit from parents-in-law. Enough said.
- Girlfriend opens Calorie Counter book from boyfriend for Christmas. Incredulous boyfriend says: “But you said you wanted one!”
Basically, when you’re single for the holidays, you save money, you don’t have fights, you have less heartache, and you get to eat more cookies guilt-free.
If you’re single this holiday season, enjoy your freedom. Bask in it. And if you meet The One, great! If you don’t, you can surely still count a sky full of lucky stars.