He Dumped You and It Was Your Fault: What to Do

breakup

 

We all do things we regret. After all, we’re only human.

 

But some things we do can lead to bitter consequences … like breakups with someone who truly meant a lot to us.

 

If you’ve recently gone through a breakup and the reason for the tear was your fault, you have to start somewhere in picking up the pieces.

 

The first decision you need to make is whether you want to go back to pursuing the relationship. Because even though you may feel incredibly sad and guilty for what you’ve done, it’s possible that you either know the relationship can never be mended or deep down, you don’t want to go back to it.

 

So decide.

 

Option A: You’re Ready to Get Over It

 

–or–

 

Option B: You Want Him Back

 

Then follow the respective guidelines below.

 

 

Option A: You’re Ready to Get Over It

 

Put Your Phone Down

 

As of this moment, your phone and social media are an enemy to contend with. You’ve got to find a way to stop yourself from calling, texting and “just checking to see if he’s online.” Doing these things will not only make you feel and look like a fool (when you constantly call and text and don’t receive answers), but they will also hold you back from getting over your ex.

 

Oh, and they will make it hard for him to get over you too. You’ve got to let them go.

 

Find a Support Network

 

Friends are the best when breakups happen. It’s especially when you’re feeling guilty and down in the dumps that you need your ladies by your side.

 

Often, when we get into relationships, everything’s so exciting and new that we may not talk to our girlfriends very often. This is always a shame, but it’s definitely a shame when then discover how much you need them.

 

Fortunately, most women understand this “code,” and they’ll come bouncing back if you only reach out and maybe supply a bottle of wine or two.

 

Don’t Shoot the Second Arrow

 

Buddhists tend to have some of the best advice where emotions are concerned, and here they are giving us another thought to live by again: Don’t shoot the second arrow.

 

If you’re confused as to how an arrow came into play, it’s simple: When we experience pain and suffering in our lives, it’s like being shot with an arrow. And that’s bad enough.

 

But so often, we “shoot ourselves with another arrow” when we take those initial bad feelings and run with them, causing more sorrow and pain through self-ridicule, shame, blaming, dissatisfaction and a host of other negative emotions and thought processes.

 

In other words: Going through this breakup sucks. Knowing you caused it sucks. But don’t make it worse than that. Avoid shooting the second arrow by recognizing your situation blows and, well, leaving it at that. Adding more terrible feelings to the mix will do absolutely no good. And you’re going to be fine. Especially if you take the next step…

 

Don’t Make the Same Mistake Twice

 

Ok, you royally screwed up with this guy. Don’t do it again.

 

Easier said than done? It’s true. We tend to repeat patterns in our lives, so chances are you’re going to be tempted to do the same things you just did to screw up this relationship again in a new relationship.

 

You’ve gotta avoid that, so … try these things:

 

  • Journal it, write it down: What would you have done differently if given another chance?
  • Have a friend watch your back. Tell them: “Next time you notice me ______, sit me down and remind me of how I’m feeling right now.”
  • Make amends with him. Apologizing and being open with how you messed up will be hard, but it will solidify it in your mind and help you to do better next time.

 

Option B: You Want Him Back

 

Apologize

 

You did something wrong, and that warrants an apology from you. We know you’re not crazy about this idea, but you really need to bite the bullet and do it. It’s the only way he can begin to forgive you, and you two can learn to repair things.

 

If you can’t do it in person (although that’s a much better and more mature idea), you can at least write him an email (or better yet, handwrite him a letter). Doing this is a great way to get some things off your chest, make amends and start making your way back to his heart. Just remember not to make excuses. Giving reasons why you did such-and-such is okay, but don’t try to lay the blame on someone else or excuse yourself entirely when you know very well that you did something wrong.

 

Be Where He Is

 

Chances are he won’t really want to see you, and that’s understandable. But you should try to find a way to see him if you can. This may be by hanging out with the same friends or at the same places.

 

Don’t be a stalker, but do put yourself in a position where you are still a factor in his life.

 

Use the Ex Factor Guide

 

Not many programs out there have the ability to actually impart essential wisdom that can get you your guy back. In fact, most of them are phony and not worth the time it takes to go through them.

 

But The Ex Factor Guide has the ability to do wonders for your chances at getting your man back. There are things in there that we don’t even have room enough to right of right here, but trust us, they’re good. Things you’d never even think of doing can win you back his heart.

 

Check it out and you’ll see what we’re talking about.

 

In the meantime: Hey girl, don’t beat yourself up. You’re only human, and you have just as much right to a happy life full of romance as the next girl—whether your ex is out of your life for good or just waiting for you to woo him again… Good luck!

Last Chance: Should You Get Back With Your Ex?

Should you get back with your ex?

 

Some relationships end because they have to. There are fights and terrible feelings, and both of you want out. Once you end a relationship like this, you probably feel relieved. It’s always a difficult transition, but in this case, you realize it was for the better.

 

With many other breakups, however, you’re left feeling like you may have made a bad choice. It might be the day after you broke up, the week after … or even months after the relationship came to an end.

 

Maybe you see him or her, or they just float through your mind and you give them a text out of the blue.

 

Once you’re on this track, it’s easy to get caught up in your ex’s tangle again, and then you’re left with the big question:

 

Should you get back with your ex?

 

It’s a huge question. So first, let’s talk about when you shouldn’t get back with an ex, and we’ll go from there. You should not try to get back with your ex if …

 

  • There was ever any abuse in the relationship
  • It was a toxic relationship that made you feel terrible on a regular basis
  • They are currently dating someone else or married

 

If you can say no to all of these things, then there’s a chance this might work. But you also need to truly do some soul searching. Even if the relationship wasn’t TOXIC … it still could have had a lot of bad parts, so you’ll want to make sure you are remembering everything about the relationship and not just the things you want to remember.

 

For example, did they treat you with respect? Did you two laugh together and have fun a lot? Were you friends as well as romantic partners?

 

Were the things they did that annoyed you small (like leaving dishes in the sink) or serious (like cheating or taking advantage of you)? Were the fights you got in long and horrible? How often did they happen?

 

Imagine yourself in a relationship with this person right now. You’re going to go right now and meet them for a drink. You’re going to wake up in the morning next to them. How do you feel?

 

Ok.

 

Now that you’ve thought about the good times and the bad … if you are still erring on the side of wanting them back … here’s what to do.

 

4 Reasons You Should Get Back With Your Ex

 

Out of those couples who have broken up and successfully gotten back together only to live a happily ever after story, these are usually the reasons that the reunion worked.

 

  1. Your priorities have changed.

 

Maybe you were dead set on never having kids way back when. Or maybe you thought marriage was not your thing. Now that some time has passed, your priorities may have shifted. And if that’s the case, now you might be more in line with the person you used to love.

 

  1. You’ve spent time apart, and realized they’re still what you want.

 

If you’ve been broken up for a significant amount of time, say, a few years, you’ve probably dated in that time. Maybe you’ve dated a lot. Maybe just a little. Regardless, if you’ve put yourself out there and tried a few new partners on for size without luck … it’s a sign that you’re now thinking about your ex. Maybe they are who you’re truly meant to be with.

 

  1. The timing was off last time.

 

This one is a definite yes to getting back together. Were you two meeting each other in passing last time? Now that you’re both in a similar place, you could be able to make it work.

 

  1. You’ve both grown up.

 

Finally, sometimes relationships don’t work simply because one or both of you haven’t fully matured yet. This does not mean we are only talking about relationships that involve high school or college kids. Even those in their 30s, 40s and beyond can be “immature.”   Sometimes, it takes some time apart to grow up before you can actually know what’s good for you.

 

Now … How Do You Get Your Ex Back?

If you’ve decided that you have a good reason to get back together with your ex, great. You’ve thought about this decision and realized that the reason you broke up in the first place was not dire enough to keep you apart.

 

But how do you get them back?

 

Ah, that.

 

Well, let’s start with step one: You need to get in contact with them if you aren’t already. Send them a text or a message on social media. Reach out and see how they feel about you. You might even take the time to apologize if the relationship ended badly.

 

But once that first step is made, there’s still more work to do. The Ex Factor Guide is great at helping couples who are truly meant to be find each other again and rekindle the romance. If you know that you need to get back together but your ex doesn’t realize what’s going on, Ex Factor Guide can help get you two where you need to go.

 

In the end, deciding whether or not you should get back together with your ex should can be a struggle, but if you look deep inside to see what your true feelings are, you’ll have the answer right in front of you.

No Regrets: Reconnecting With “The One That Got Away”

Sensual couple in a field.

by Brad Browning, Breakup Expert & Best-Selling Author

 

Here’s a fun fact:  in a recent survey, nearly 40% of adults said their single biggest regret in life was “breaking up with a past lover”.

 

Are you in the same boat?  Have you let ‘the one’ slip out of your life, only to realize later you’d made a huge mistake?

 

If so, here’s my advice:  stop wondering “what if” and do something about it.

 

Now is your chance.  In fact, now is a perfect time to act, because I’m about to tell you exactly what you need to do to undo your past mistakes and win back “the one that got away”.

 

Before I begin, let me address the skeptics:  yes, it is actually completely possible to re-unite with your ex!  That’s especially true if the breakup happened within the last couple of years.

 

As a breakup coach and best-selling author, I help my clients re-build a past romance, and I see them succeed all the time.  Trust me, it’s possible.

 

Here’s the basic formula:

 

First, you need to get your ex’s contact info…. a phone number is best but you can also break the ice and begin re-building a connection via Facebook or even by email.

 

Second, you need to think of something funny or meaningful that you can send to your ex in a text message (or FB msg, snap, email, etc) to generate some feelings of nostalgia and get back on their radar in a positive way.  This is critical.  You must break the ice with something that will make your ex smile, laugh, or remember a happy memory you shared together in the past.

 

Third, you need to be patient!  You can’t rush this… pushing ahead too quickly is just going to weird out your ex and scare them off for good.  At first, your encounters need to be really brief and sometimes may even need to seem “accidental”.  You’re just setting the stage in preparation for phase 2, which I call “re-kindling”.

 

Forth, it’s time to turn your playful texting into an in-person meeting.  You just want to meet up to ‘catch up over coffee’… nothing more. Don’t call this a “date”…. you don’t want to set off any alarm bells.  This quick meet-up has three purposes:  a) remind your ex what a fun and interesting person you are;  b) show them the ‘new you’ and how well your life is going nowadays; and  c) do some flirting to build sexual tension.

 

Fifth, you need to turn this one ‘coffee date’ into a second and a third meet-up (without coming on too strong and scaring them away).  This is what I call the “Re-attraction” phase… it’s where you use a few sneaky tricks to build sexual tension and establish a romantic connection without the other person even realizing what’s happening.  Learn about some sneaky psychological tactics you should use in this phase by clicking here to access to my latest how-to video (I cover this topic part way through, but you should watch the beginning too).

 

And finally, when you’ve followed the steps in my re-attraction phase and built enough of a connection with your ex, things tend to fall into place on their own.  You’ll definitely need to continue flirting like mad and ramp up the sexual connection…. and eventually things will just “click” and you’ll find yourself back in love.

 

So there you have it… that’s the basic formula for re-connecting with “the one that got away”.

 

Yes, I know what’s going on in your head at this point…  “It all sounds too easy, Brad,” you’re thinking.  “What if they’re dating someone new?  What if you live 500 miles apart?”

 

Sadly, both those questions are among the many excellent scenarios that I don’t have space to address in this article.  The best place to get more in-depth answers to those questions, and many others, is in this video that I just made public (watch it ASAP, because I’m going to put it back in the ‘members only’ section soon).

 

OK, now there’s just one more thing I have to tell you… and pay close attention, because my last tip is the most important one by far….

 

Don’t go through life wondering “what if”!  Put aside your fears, and chase after true love, because you may never find someone like that again.  There’s no excuse, because I’ve given you the blueprint…. all you have to do is use it.