The Real Reason Sex Gets Worse Over Time,
And EXACTLY What To Do About It At Any Stage
(Plus, How I Went Bald … And Saved My Sex Life Doing It.)
By Mirabelle Summers
Hi guys, it’s Mirabelle here, and today I want to talk about SEX. Here’s a question from Nora …
I have a question about sex.
I love sex. I LOVE it. But recently it’s gotten boring … and I miss the craziness and the passion and the feeling of being wanted. I miss it a lot. How do I bring it back?
Am I being stupid or naïve to hope that my boyfriend and I can have an amazing passionate sex life that doesn’t die away over time?
Thanks for your question.
I have to admit, I chose this question because I read it and winced. As someone who frankly NEEDS regular, hot sex to feel in any way normal and truly alive, I read your question and just KNEW I had to tackle it right freaking now. Because hey … I can relate to your problem. (And I’ll prove it by telling you an extremely personal and somewhat embarrassing story about my own sex life just a few paragraphs down.)
First though, I’ve gotta admit …
You haven’t really given me much to work with here. (I mean … how old are you? How old is he? How long have you been together? Do you live together? What’s the story here?? So, I’ll do the best I can with what I’ve got …
Which means it’s time for my embarrassing and DEEPLY personal sex story.
It’s hard for me to even ADMIT this, seeing as I’m a professional relationships coach (and an Amazon.com #1 bestselling author to boot …) But, something most people don’t know about me? I used to be the QUEEN of boring sex. In ALL of my committed relationships.
Every single relationship I had?
We’d start off crazy and intense and hyper-sexualized. We couldn’t wait to RIP each other’s clothes off and have crazy wild gorilla sex in every room of the house.
… And sometimes outside in the garden.
… And sometimes in the bathroom at dinner parties.
… And sometimes …
… well, you get the idea.
But as the months (and eventually YEARS) passed, the sex that used to be scorching hot somehow turned into ‘comfort sex’. Sex that was the physical equivalent of a pair of slippers. Sex that was comfy and warm and familiar… and BORING. Sex that you wouldn’t want to wear with a hot dress. Sex that you would NEVER wear out on a hot date. (Ummmm … is it just me, or is this analogy getting super weird? 😉
So here’s what I’d do: