The #1 DIRTY SECRET That Men are Keeping from You

The #1 DIRTY SECRET That Men are Keeping from You

by Rick Wall

dirty secret

There is no shortage of conversations in which women attempt to determine what it takes to win the heart of a man. There are numerous postulations that suggest that outer beauty is the key, and of course, there is the old adage: A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

 

While women, and experts alike, weigh in on the topic, it would do well to understand that dealing with men is much different than dealing with your girlfriend. Women are more complex and multilayered than men. At the end of the day, men are immensely simple, and easy to understand. There is one little dirty secret that men hide well, and that is the fact that more than anything, they want a woman who understands them — a woman that has the ability to communicate at the highest level with them.

 

At the core of what a man seeks from a woman is affirmation. A woman affirms her man in her speech, her response to his touch, and her ability to relate to who he is. In essence, in every form of communication, she is a constant reminder of who he is — one of the greatest sources of his confidence.

 

It is important to understand that communication is key here. While it is true that men are visual, far too much emphasis and gravity is placed on the visual components of a relationship. Yes, in the short-term, aesthetics have a place; however, aesthetics are not static, meaning that looks change with age.

 

This means that you cannot build a long-term relationship on something that is consistently changing. While your looks may capture his attention, it will be your ability to communicate with him in a manner that ensures him that you understand him, and that you will always have his back that will hold him.

 

According to relationship expert, Bree Maresca-Kramer, clear and open communication from a woman is immensely important to a man when he is determining the potential for a long-term relationship. As a general rule, men are not great communicators, especially when being compared to women. This means that a woman who is not concise and direct in her communication can confuse and frustrate her man to no end. Say what you mean and mean what you say, while leaving out all of the extras. Save the esoteric and convoluted conversation for the girls.

 

A man does not want to have to guess where he fits into the equation. He does not want to have to guess what it is that you expect from him. He wants a clear and concise message, and he will respond to that concise message promptly.

 

It is important to understand that a man’s need for direct communication is not indicative of any type of intellectual challenge, he is simply wired differently, so he responds to a certain type of communication.  This is vital because if direct communication from you is accompanied by a condescending tone, it will definitely not produce the results you are looking for. There is absolutely nothing a man hates more than being disrespected, and a condescending attitude will be perceived as disrespect.

 

Women are very intuitive — possessing an extraordinary sense of discernment. This is why women have no problem attempting to read situations and decipher codes; however, men don’t want to decipher anything. They want explicit details that are clear and concise. The extras are not necessary.

 

If a man loves you, he instinctively wants to make you happy, and when he fails in this category, it is not due to a lack of desire and effort, but most likely a failure in communication. When he knows specifically what is expected, he will deliver, or go to the end of the world in his attempts to do so.

 

Here’s what you can do to help facilitate the process:  To help him open up to you, so that he feels an overwhelming desire to be 100% open and honest with you, you need to communicate with him effectively.  Not just today, or for the next month, but ALWAYS.

 

Let me share with you the “magic words” that make it easy for you to get even the most “closed-off” guy to want to share his deepest desires, thoughts, and his life with you… You can get them by clicking HERE.

 

TalkToHisHeart

4 Reasons Why Men are Afraid of Love

4 Reasons Why Men are Afraid of Love

by Mirabelle Summers

4 Reasons Why Men are Afraid of Love

 
While some men have no issue with the idea of an emotional commitment, the word “love” can send other men running for cover. They may not feel ready to love someone else, or they might be downright afraid.

These fears might appear at different stages within a relationship, and it’s important to be understanding of his feelings.

Try not to let them make you feel insecure or impatient. If you think your significant other is afraid of love, try having an open conversation. Communication can help you both connect and feel more comfortable with everything that comes with a relationship.
 
 

1. Love makes men feel vulnerable

Unlike the fairer sex, society tends not to allow room for men to feel vulnerable. Unfortunately, they still do. Men fear rejection on a core level.

To be romantically rejected is to be destroyed to them. They feel rejection on a deeper level than women do and it can cause them to fear the risks involved in love. In our culture, men are expected to pursue women and then a woman has the option of accepting or rejecting a man’s proposal. This causes men to have to put their feelings on the line and occasionally be shot down.

This can damage their ego and inflame any personal insecurities that they may have. You may notice that just when your relationship feels like it’s moving to the next level, he pulls back into his shell and withdraws emotionally. He does this to protect himself because he’s feeling vulnerable.

Try to be patient and show him that you are reliable in your love.

Go here to discover the Magical Desire Phrases which reveal how to talk to men in such a way that he’ll desire and love you forever.

 
 

2. With happiness comes the chance for pain

We’ve all heard the phrase “the higher you fly, the further you fall.” Men can fear love because the flip side of a great love is a great loss. In his mind, if he loves you deeply, there’s a chance that something will go wrong and he will get hurt.

There’s a fear to invest so much of his emotional self simply because coming back from heartbreak is hard. Men tend to prefer to avoid it all together rather than suffer. Unfortunately, to avoid pain he’s also avoiding happiness.
 
 

3. A relationship can put pressure on a man to ‘Grow Up’

Being in a relationship means caring for someone other than yourself and that can be an overwhelming idea for some men. Try to avoid putting too much pressure on him to “grow up.” It’s not fair to accept his immaturity and then up and decide that he needs to do a 180 overnight. Give him time and support him in his growth.

Sometimes men fear that if they enter into a relationship, they will have to give up some of the fun things they love to do, like watching sports or their favorite hobbies.  Another major fear is that love means a woman might try to force him to give up his bro time. To stave off this fear, encourage him to spend time with his guys. On poker nights, leave and go do something completely separate and equally enjoyable for you so that you also have YOU time.
 
 

4. Personal insecurities

Many men feel unworthy of love due to hidden insecurities they’ve carried with them throughout life.

This usually stems from early childhood criticism from a trusted adult. It manifests a feeling of shame that can make a grown man feel flawed or defective and not worthy of anyone’s love.

For example, if he was made to feel stupid because of a speech impediment that has since disappeared, that feeling of embarrassment can linger. If he was chubby as a child and was teased, he may still struggle with body image issues no matter what he looks like.

In addition, if he grew up watching his parents be highly successful and he doesn’t feel like he’s “measured up” this can dominate his feelings of self-worth and cause his personal insecurities to sabotage a loving relationship.

He may push you away or engage in behaviors that distract from his perceived personal flaws. Encourage your man to love and forgive himself by being loving and forgiving of his hesitations.

Being supportive is one of the foundations of good, healthy relationships in which love can bloom.  If you know that this man is the one deserving of your love, be open with him, encourage communication between you, and give him a supportive space in which he can open his heart up to you, too.
 
 
BTW Don’t miss this powerful presentation my friend Sarah put together…

Here is one simple skill that will make him love you forever

To your love life success!

Kind regards,
Mirabelle Summers
Relationships Coach and CoAuthor of Conversation Chemistry