In the absence of pressure, spontaneity arises.
Crazy good sex doesn’t happen by chance. It’s a couples project. Like any other high-priority project, it requires time and energy to make it happen. You might like the idea of having a beautiful vegetable garden, but if you spend all your free time on other pursuits, the garden will remain a nice idea. The same is true with your sex life. You may like the idea of having rockin’ good sex into your 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond, but it will remain a dream unless you put in the time.
Here’s how EASY it is to schedule a hot sex date. So EASY that even the most checked out lover will be enthusiastic about it.
The daily demands on your time and attention easily fall into half a dozen categories: work obligations, family activities, social engagements (cyber and otherwise), those favorite distractions you’re not about to give up, the “me-time” activities that give you a needed break, the self-care habits that keep you healthy. And that’s just the short list. You also have your hair appointments, your doctor visits, your mani-pedis, your errands, and your zoned-out binges on your favorite Netflix series. It’s enough to make even the most savvy time-manager go round the bend.
Something as crucial to your happiness as a satisfying sex life should not be left up to the shifting sands of your daily schedule. You simply cannot do what most couples do: leave lovemaking in the “whenever we feel like it” category. You need to put it on your calendar.
You have to ensure that “We’re just too busy” is no longer an acceptable excuse. Your busy life requires you to become a bad-ass when it comes to making time for the things that mean the most. And when it comes to your relationship, crazy good sex means everything. You have to plan for success. That’s why you absolutely must schedule sex dates. Better yet, put a sex date on your calendar at least once a week.
SCHEDULE A PLAY DATE
At first, this may seem counter-intuitive. Schedule a sex date? How very unromantic. What about spontaneity? Isn’t that what generates the intensity of a highly erotic encounter? Yes, spontaneity is a major element of ecstatic sex. But the place to find the kind of spontaneity that leads to complete abandon is within a safe and intentional context, what I like to call Erotic Playdates. There are no shifting sands here; this is special time you set aside for adult play.
An Erotic Playdate develops your sexual skills as a couple. There is a delicious anticipation to an Erotic Playdate when you know you are going to practice a new sexual technique. Treat it like a dinner date. Instead of Googling around and looking at different restaurants, checking out the menu, the prices, the daily specials, Google around and find a new technique you’d like to try. You can do this together just as you might if you were choosing a place to eat, or you might decide to take turns selecting something new and delectable to try on your date. (You can download amazing variety of menu options for free here.)
SUCCESSFUL EROTIC PLAY DATES
The key to a successful Erotic Playdate is that the focus is on having fun together. Most of the time, we approach lovemaking with a focus on intercourse. But women generally don’t want to commit to intercourse until they’re turned on. The name of the game in a Sandbox Date is fun, not fucking. In the absence of pressure for sex, spontaneity naturally arises.
You might have an Erotic Playdate that’s all about finding her G-spot, or giving each other an erotic massage, or improving your oral sex skills. On an Erotic Playdate, you are encouraged to give each other feedback. Often, there’s no room for, or agreement about, giving each other feedback during lovemaking. People are either afraid to ask for what they want, or they have no idea what they want. They only know that what they are experiencing isn’t it. Typically, they don’t have the freedom or permission to give their lover feedback.
The context on an Erotic Playdate, on the other hand, is all about feedback: we’re here to learn, try new things, experiment and discover what makes each other feel crazy good. You learn to escalate your passion by working together.
Scratch that. You learn to escalate your passion by playing together.
If both of you adopt this “begin as a beginner” attitude together, the terrain you can explore is literally endless. Imagine having a connection with your lover that starts fresh… every time. Lovemaking is different and exciting… every time. Something delicious and beautiful happens between you that has never happened before… every time. No more ordering off the same old menu. You’re lovemaking connoisseurs.
So think about getting your hands on the 21 Erotic Play Dates to start learning one simple new technique or practice today. Will you try the Clock Method? The Start/Stop Game? Or will you learn the Touch for Rapture? Now, put a date on the calendar and you’ll have something sensual to anticipate.
Susan S. Bratton
CEO, Personal Life Media
“Trusted Hot Sex Advisor To Millions”