The Top 4 Things You Can Learn From Expert Sexters

flirtatious texting sexting

 

If you’ve sent a text, chances are you’ve sent a sext. Er, at least a text that was on the edge of being a sext.

 

And c’mon. We know you liked it.

 

When you’re in a committed relationship (or at least dating someone and leading up to a committed relationship), sexting is healthy, exciting and super fun.

 

But we all weren’t born with the sexting gene …

 

In other words, some of us are better at the craft than others. Fortunately, those who excel at sexting (so say the recipients of their texty prose), are willing to divulge their secrets.

 

And all the better for us!

 

Here’s what you can learn from expert sexters.

 

#1. You gotta create a story.

 

Creating an amazing back-and-forth through sexting is like writing a book. You need to A) Set the scene and the characters (you two!), B) Pick the plot and C) Offer lots and lots of detail.

 

It’s all in the detail. Get creative.

 

#2 Keep things going. Never end a text without leaving it open for continuation.

 

Going along with the last one: Don’t close the storyline. This means you have to keep things going.

 

Have you ever heard people talk about improv comedy? The rule is to say “Yes. And …” to absolutely everything that your improv partner says.

 

You want to be able to go back and forth easily with your partner so that there’s never a dull moment or an awkward situation where one of you has to build things back up again from scratch.

 

This is exactly the same sort of thing you have to remember when it comes to sexting. Go with what they say and then add something of your own, and then leave something else open for the other person to react to.

 

#3 Don’t think too literally.

 

Remember when we said to Get creative. That’s easier said than done, right? We get it.

 

But for starters, just remember that the things you sext about may not be actual things you’ve done or even things that you plan on doing.

 

No, you don’t actually have to be wearing a pink thong to let on that you are. Yes, you can be in your PJs with unwashed hair and having the time of your life sexting.

 

#4 Put out feelers.

 

One of the biggest things that people worry about when sexting is what the other person will think of them if they say such-and-such. Usually, it’s something that’s a little bit out of their own comfort zone, and so they assume that the other person might be “freaked out” by it.

 

If you’re old enough to have seen the Seinfeld episode where Jerry starts dirty talking with one of his many girlfriends, you know what we’re talking about. In the episode, Jerry’s girlfriend wants to dirty talk with Jerry, but he’s nervous about what to say. Finally, he says something to try it out, and the woman is totally repulsed by it.

 

This is the fear.

 

But don’t let it freak you out too much. The truth of the matter is that if you have a good, loving relationship, you can’t freak your partner out too much. And if you do, you can always laugh it off.

 

But to avoid this altogether, start by putting out feelers.

 

For example, if you want to take the conversation in a certain direction, tap into the new topic just a little and see what you get in return. If they seem willing to go there, go for it! If not, change subjects to something more neutral.

 

Get Sexting Advice From the Pros

 

The above is naturally advice from people who have sexted a lot, and often, that’s not us. It can be hard to just jump into this game when you’ve never done it before. So if your partner is up for it, and you literally have no idea where to start, fortunately, you have options.

 

In a nutshell, you can ask the real sexting pros to, well … do it for you.

 

The Language of Desire Program is a complete relationship guide that can help you hone your communication skills (in and out of the bedroom) to make you the most desirable woman your man has ever laid eyes on.

 

Whoever it is that you want to seduce or woo or make fall for you will be swept off his feet when you use the special techniques taught through Language of Desire. It’s a serious win, and it’s got tons of programs, guides, techniques AND complete “done for you” texts that you won’t have to even think about. Just press send, and let him come to you …

 

However you go about seducing your man, don’t forget the power of texting and sexting. We live in the 21st century, and phones and texting aren’t going anywhere! Embrace sexting. Get good at it (with a little help). And see how it can work for you to help you get the man of your dreams—literally any man you desire.

 

language of desire

 

Why Texting Is the New Talking and How to Flirt Text the Right Way

flirt text

 

If you grew up in a time when waiting by the phone for your boyfriend or girlfriend to call was the norm, texting may be a little weird for you. Even if you’re used to texting now, you may not be exactly sure how to use it to your advantage in a romantic relationship. How the heck do you use texting to flirt?

 

Well, if you don’t know, you need to find out. For one, texting can be extremely useful in flirting. It’s easy once you know what to do and it’s super effective.

 

In fact, one of the ways that texting can come in extremely handy for a relationship is when you want to reignite that spark between you two and learn how to flirt again even if it’s been many years since you were at that stage of your relationship.

But before we get into exactly how to flirt text, let’s talk about something you’re just going to have to accept: texting is the new talking. Instead of chatting someone up at a bar or getting flirty with someone in the corner booth, couples are texting.

 

Yes, yes, we know, we know: How horrible!

 

Well, there are many sides to this. Let’s explore:

 

The Good

 

Okay. Texting is not that bad. We know that you want to keep the real conversation going in your relationship, and that is great! But that doesn’t mean that texting can’t supplement that conversation.

 

Texting can keep you in touch if you’re in a long-distance relationship. And you can keep in touch throughout the day. It’s also a great format for talking when you two are fighting or going through a rough patch … and it’s just too hard to talk face-to-face right away.

 

The Bad

 

The bad part of the new situation with texting and relationships is that people don’t know the right way to do it. They usually either text too much or too little.

 

Have you ever sent someone a message that was super kind and sweet and had at least a few sentences with a friendly exclamation point at the end … only to get a “K” in return?

 

Yeah. That’s too little.

 

But have you ever had someone bombard you with long messages throughout the day, bugging you to respond? “Hey, are you there?” 5 minutes later “I said are you there???”

 

That’s too much. And annoying.

 

The Ugly

 

Finally, the ugly. This is the thing that most people talk about when they talk about how horrible texting is these days. It’s the fact that some couples are texting more than they’re actually talking. In other words, their heads are into their phones constantly, and they don’t even have time to look up and actually converse with your partner. This is bad obviously. No one’s arguing that.

 

What we’re saying is that texting can be a good supplement to your relationship. It can create passion like you never thought possible. And it can keep you connected even when you’re seemingly falling apart. Here’s how.

 

How to Use Texting to Bring Sex and Passion Back Into Your Relationship

 

Okay, you’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of the new way that couples are text messaging these days.

 

Now, let’s talk about exactly how to use flirtatious text messaging to bring passion back into your relationship. Here are three key things you need to know.

 

Give Them an Opening

 

For starters, remember not to dominate the conversation too much, but also … be the leader. Sound confusing? It’s actually not.

 

You just need to keep in mind that your partner hasn’t started this text conversation, so they may not be sure how to keep up or where it’s headed. You need to guide them in the right direction and give them space to say exactly what you’re looking for. Which leads us to the next tip …

 

Be Mysterious

 

Don’t be super obvious. Don’t bombard them with huge amounts of long texts and go into great detail with everyone. That’s just too much. You need to be a little mysterious and make them wonder who this new you us.

 

Use ellipses (…) at the ends of your sentences to convey mystery and intrigue. Ask questions that are easy for them to answer in a sexy or cute way. Say things that lead into even sexier topics … Then …

 

Say This Thing That They Want You to Say …

 

You need to remember that there are certain things this person is desperately wanting you to say.  For example, they might want you to be visual. So if you want something to happen between the two of you, you need to set up the picture.

 

Make them imagine it so that they want you more. On the other hand, some people want you to explain what might happen between the two of you, say, tonight in the bedroom, and in that case, you need to know what to say of course.

 

To figure out what your partner wants you to say and how to say whatever this is … you need a skill set. This can be difficult to deal with if you’re just starting out with flirtatious texting, so here’s some advice. Check out Text the Romance Back. Michael Fiore, renowned relationship expert, created Text the Romance Back to help couples reignite that spark between them and bring intimacy and romantic back into the relationship. Check it out here and see what you think.

 

In the end, if you come away with anything from this article, it should be that you need to put effort into the texts that you send to your partner. Whether your relationship is on the rocks or you’re just looking for a new way to spice things up, text messaging is the new “talking,” so use it to your advantage. You won’t be sorry!

Top Dos and Don’ts of Flirtatious Texting

flirtatious texting

 

So you’re dating someone and you’d like to spice things up in some way…

 

Or could it be you’re just looking for a new way to have a little fun?

 

Maybe it’s finally time to reignite that long lost spark in your relationship…

 

Whatever it is … texting could be the answer you’ve been looking for.

 

Yep, you read that right: Texting. Flirtatious Texting to be exact. And if you’re not sure where to start … you’ve come to the right place.

 

Top Flirty Texting Dos and Don’ts

 

DO … start with “gratitude” and compliments

 

The best way to get a conversation going is by thanking the other person for a [date, meal, present, “just being you”, other …] or by giving a well-deserved compliment.

 

Even if your end goal is some fun in the bedroom, you should avoid starting a texting conversation with something a little too sexy or erotic. Build up to that, but start a little cooler—especially if you’re not on super loving/close terms right now.

 

DON’T … go on and on

 

Don’t be too chatty when you text. A nicely worded, one sentence text is all you need to start things off and keep things going. Less is more!

 

DO … make plans to meet in person

 

In other words, if you don’t otherwise see each other (in life, at work, socially…) you should avoid texting back and forth for days and weeks on end. The end goal should be to actually get together! So make plans.

 

DON’T … always leave the ball in their court

 

Hold up your end of the conversation. Don’t leave them to keep things rolling or keep things spicy. That’s annoying, and the convo will likely fizzle out.

 

DO … follow their lead if you’re completely unsure

 

If they were the one to start things up, let them lead things. This does not mean answering their texts with short boring answers, i.e. “yes”, “haha”, “wow!” That’s lame. But what you don’t want to do is take the reins and lead the convo somewhere they were unprepared to go. Follow their lead and mimic their tone and text size.

 

DON’T … send a follow up text if you don’t hear back

 

If you don’t hear back, there’s a reason. Don’t send another text 10 minutes, 2 hours or 1 day later saying “Helloooo!?!” That is what crazy people do. Just let it go.

 

DO … be responsive

 

Reply back! Don’t wait 3 hours or 4 days or whatever the “rule” is. Just write back when it’s convenient for you. Write back as you would with a friend or sibling. Don’t rush it, but don’t wait forever either. It’s a nice thing to be responsive, and the other person will appreciate it.

 

DON’T … be too responsive

 

Ok, let’s be real. Even though you don’t want to be so lax that you wait 4 weeks to respond, but also don’t respond like immediately after they do with a huge text. That’s overkill, and it might be a turnoff to them just as it might be to you if someone else did that.

 

DO … text primarily when sober …

 

In other words, don’t text someone when you’ve been drinking. This is just common sense. And especially don’t text an ex when you’ve been drinking. If you can, tell your friends or whoever you’re hanging out with to keep you in check. You will always regret this.

 

DON’T … send pics if you’re not exclusive yet

 

Sexy pictures and super sexy texts can be great, but don’t send pictures especially when you two aren’t exclusive or on super good terms. This can seem too forward, and if you’re not sure where things will end up between the two of you, you might not want those pictures out there in the end.

 

DO … Get tips from professionals

 

Lessons in texting? Yup. It’s true and you probably need ‘em. It’s not actually that strange either. People get lessons in public speaking, negotiating, and talking to new people. Why would texting be any different?

 

There are lots of ways to get help with your texting game. We will recommend one way here that seems to be the most popular: Text the Romance Back. This is a program developed by a leading relationship expert named Michael Fiore.

 

Fiore helps you go from a texting newbie to a texting expert—one who will be spinning beautiful, meaningful texts to your honey in no time. All you need is your smartphone and the ability to follow a few key steps and directions.

 

The truth is, texting to be flirtatious isn’t rocket science. But it is important to know the basics of how to use it. These days, this form of communication is so vital to relationships that it can actually hurt you and your relationship if you don’t know how to do it correctly.

 

Try using these tips and resources to get started. It can change your relationship, your self-confidence, and of course … your sex life … overnight.

 

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