He Dumped You and It Was Your Fault: What to Do



We all do things we regret. After all, we’re only human.


But some things we do can lead to bitter consequences … like breakups with someone who truly meant a lot to us.


If you’ve recently gone through a breakup and the reason for the tear was your fault, you have to start somewhere in picking up the pieces.


The first decision you need to make is whether you want to go back to pursuing the relationship. Because even though you may feel incredibly sad and guilty for what you’ve done, it’s possible that you either know the relationship can never be mended or deep down, you don’t want to go back to it.


So decide.


Option A: You’re Ready to Get Over It




Option B: You Want Him Back


Then follow the respective guidelines below.



Option A: You’re Ready to Get Over It


Put Your Phone Down


As of this moment, your phone and social media are an enemy to contend with. You’ve got to find a way to stop yourself from calling, texting and “just checking to see if he’s online.” Doing these things will not only make you feel and look like a fool (when you constantly call and text and don’t receive answers), but they will also hold you back from getting over your ex.


Oh, and they will make it hard for him to get over you too. You’ve got to let them go.


Find a Support Network


Friends are the best when breakups happen. It’s especially when you’re feeling guilty and down in the dumps that you need your ladies by your side.


Often, when we get into relationships, everything’s so exciting and new that we may not talk to our girlfriends very often. This is always a shame, but it’s definitely a shame when then discover how much you need them.


Fortunately, most women understand this “code,” and they’ll come bouncing back if you only reach out and maybe supply a bottle of wine or two.


Don’t Shoot the Second Arrow


Buddhists tend to have some of the best advice where emotions are concerned, and here they are giving us another thought to live by again: Don’t shoot the second arrow.


If you’re confused as to how an arrow came into play, it’s simple: When we experience pain and suffering in our lives, it’s like being shot with an arrow. And that’s bad enough.


But so often, we “shoot ourselves with another arrow” when we take those initial bad feelings and run with them, causing more sorrow and pain through self-ridicule, shame, blaming, dissatisfaction and a host of other negative emotions and thought processes.


In other words: Going through this breakup sucks. Knowing you caused it sucks. But don’t make it worse than that. Avoid shooting the second arrow by recognizing your situation blows and, well, leaving it at that. Adding more terrible feelings to the mix will do absolutely no good. And you’re going to be fine. Especially if you take the next step…


Don’t Make the Same Mistake Twice


Ok, you royally screwed up with this guy. Don’t do it again.


Easier said than done? It’s true. We tend to repeat patterns in our lives, so chances are you’re going to be tempted to do the same things you just did to screw up this relationship again in a new relationship.


You’ve gotta avoid that, so … try these things:


  • Journal it, write it down: What would you have done differently if given another chance?
  • Have a friend watch your back. Tell them: “Next time you notice me ______, sit me down and remind me of how I’m feeling right now.”
  • Make amends with him. Apologizing and being open with how you messed up will be hard, but it will solidify it in your mind and help you to do better next time.


Option B: You Want Him Back




You did something wrong, and that warrants an apology from you. We know you’re not crazy about this idea, but you really need to bite the bullet and do it. It’s the only way he can begin to forgive you, and you two can learn to repair things.


If you can’t do it in person (although that’s a much better and more mature idea), you can at least write him an email (or better yet, handwrite him a letter). Doing this is a great way to get some things off your chest, make amends and start making your way back to his heart. Just remember not to make excuses. Giving reasons why you did such-and-such is okay, but don’t try to lay the blame on someone else or excuse yourself entirely when you know very well that you did something wrong.


Be Where He Is


Chances are he won’t really want to see you, and that’s understandable. But you should try to find a way to see him if you can. This may be by hanging out with the same friends or at the same places.


Don’t be a stalker, but do put yourself in a position where you are still a factor in his life.


Use the Ex Factor Guide


Not many programs out there have the ability to actually impart essential wisdom that can get you your guy back. In fact, most of them are phony and not worth the time it takes to go through them.


But The Ex Factor Guide has the ability to do wonders for your chances at getting your man back. There are things in there that we don’t even have room enough to right of right here, but trust us, they’re good. Things you’d never even think of doing can win you back his heart.


Check it out and you’ll see what we’re talking about.


In the meantime: Hey girl, don’t beat yourself up. You’re only human, and you have just as much right to a happy life full of romance as the next girl—whether your ex is out of your life for good or just waiting for you to woo him again… Good luck!

How can I tell if my ex wants to get back together?

“How can I tell if my ex wants to get back together?”

“How do I know if he/she will take me back?”

By: Brad Browning


…If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me a question like that, I’d have roughly a bazillion dollars by now.


So, let me answer these questions by explaining three subtle yet extremely telling signs that indicate your ex is interested in getting back together with you.


Before I begin, though, I want to warn you about something: if you misinterpret the signs your ex is giving off, it’s very likely you’ll end up doing or saying something that will kill your chances of getting back together.  


Please don’t do that… instead, take 5 minutes watch the free video on my website.  Watch it before you say anything to your ex so you don’t accidentally do something dumb that ruins your shot at getting your ex back.


Now, on to the juicy stuff… what are some of the most telling signs that suggest your ex wants you back?


Sign #1 – Your Ex Gives You The “Hot And Cold” Treatment


One minute, your ex seems to want you gone.  They won’t answer your calls, they say they don’t love you any more, and they seem to be 100% done with you.  The next minute, they’re sending you late-night texts telling you how much they miss you.


Sound familiar?  If so, then there’s a good chance your ex is struggling with the breakup… big time.


On its own, this type of “mixed messages” or “hot and cold” stuff doesn’t mean that your ex is definitely wanting to get back together, but it does show that they’re missing you and struggling to adjust to life without you.


Sign #2 – Your Ex Gets Jealous (Or Tries To Make You Jealous)


If your ex finds out that you’ve been hanging out with some new friends of the opposite sex and gets upset about it, that’s a clear sign they’re definitely not over you.


Same thing applies if he or she is obviously trying to make you jealous… if your ex wasn’t the type to post about their love life on Facebook, and all of a sudden they’re posting pics from last night’s date, then it’s probably aimed at you…. and it shows they’re still very emotionally invested in your relationship.


I actually recommend using a similar but much sneakier technique I call “Covert Jealousy”… it’s a very powerful psychological tactic that works like magic, but it also has the potential to backfire, so make sure you read through my best-selling Ex Factor program (or at the very least watch the free video) before you even think about trying to use jealousy win back your ex.


Sign #3 – Your Ex Wants To ‘Be Friends’


If your ex wants to break up but insists that you can “still be friends,” that’s a massive tell-tale sign that they’re not over you.


Think about it… he or she has decided it’s over, but they can’t handle the idea of you suddenly vanishing from their life.  They need to keep you around for a while (as ‘friends’) to slowly adjust to life without you.


Sorry to say it, but agreeing to be in your ex’s “friend zone” is a one-way ticket to heartache.  If you want them back, you can’t sit around being their “plan B” or acting as their emotional tampon.


Don’t be that person who clings around hoping for a second chance.  That’s not a good way to get him or her back… usually, it’s just a recipe for disaster.  Instead, use the simple but powerful psychological tactics I describe in my best-selling Ex Factor program to shift the “balance of power” and make him or her decide, on their own, to get back together.

Click here to watch my full how-to video now to learn about a few of these “reverse psychology” tactics and begin reeling your ex back into your arms.   


Has Your Breakup Made You a Love Psychopath?

Love Psychopath

Martin asks,

“Mike, I need your help, man. My girlfriend and I broke up a couple weeks ago. She doesn’t know I still have access to her phone records, but I do. And she’s been making phone calls to somebody out of state. The other day they talked for like 40 minutes. I don’t want to keep her from dating but I feel like if I don’t do something she might fall for this other person. What do I do?”

Hey Martin,

A while ago I read a book calledThe Psychopath Test.” It’s about how 1% of everybody out there is a psychopath who has absolutely no empathy (a lot of really successful business people are actually psychopaths.)

Anyway, there’s a bit in the book where the author says “Right about now you’re probably wondering if YOU are psychopath.”

And when I read that, I nodded my head up and down because I was.

And then he said . . .

Well, if you’re wondering if you’re a psychopath, it means you’re not. Real psychopaths never even consider the idea that there’s something off or wrong about them.

Which was a relief.

Anyway, I’m not saying you’re a psychopath, but you are a LOVE psychopath right now.

And you’re not alone.

Every day I get emails from men and women saying they dug through their ex’s mail, snooped on their Facebook profile, “just happened” to look through their text messages or (and this is awful) created a fake online dating profile and flirted with their ex online.

And . . . huh . . . that’s love psychopath behavior.

Listen: I know, the breakup is hard. And we ALL act crazy when our heart is broken and we’re CRAVING that person more than anything.

But your ex DESERVES her privacy. And going through her phone records (or emails, or anything else) isn’t romantic or noble or any of the other lies you might tell yourself.

So what do you do instead?

Well, in “TextYourExBack” I say:

“The only way to get your ex back is to let them go first.”

And that’s 100% true. For you to have any chance at all of having a great relationship with that girl or guy again, you have to accept that the relationship you had is over and start from scratch to create something great that actually works.

And that means you have to escape this “fear zone” you’re living in. Yes, it’s possible she’s talking to somebody out of state who’s got great hair and six pack abs and genitals that do tricks.

But it’s also possible it’s just her crazy cousin who follows Phish and sells beads for a living.

Here’s what I recommend:

1. Get her phone records transferred to her TODAY.

2. If you’ve got any passwords of hers or anything like that LOSE THEM.

3. Go watch the video  TextYourExBack and decide if the program is for you .


About Michael Fiore

Since early 2010, Michael’s been teaching men and women around the world how to use simple digital tools to dramatically improve their relationships.