6 Ways That Guys Love for You to Initiate Sex

6 Ways That Guys Love for You to Initiate Sex


What does he really want in the bedroom?


Oh … lots of things.


  • More lingerie
  • More oral
  • More moans and sighs of ecstasy because he’s doing so amazing at pleasuring you


The list goes on.


Yet there’s one thing that men consistently ask for more of … and it’s something that women might not know about. And might not do too often.


Not because they don’t want to … or because they can’t … or even because they think they shouldn’t. But just because … well, usually they don’t have to do it.


We’re talking about initiating sex.


Get it now? “Don’t usually have to”?


Yeah. At any mention of nooky, boobs, the bedroom, bras, kissing, touching, etc., it seems like your man is always right there *snap* and ready to go to town on you.


And why shouldn’t he be!?


You’re hot.


But … What if you turned the tables? And surprised him with a little hands-down-the-pants at the dinner table or a sexy text message when you know very well he’s at work and won’t be home for hours. Hmm?


Well, we’ve asked and polled and checked with the male population … And they vote an astounding YES to all of the following suggestions. In fact, the following is a list of the TOP ways that men would love for you to initiate sex with them …


  1. Walk into the kitchen with nothing on but a sexy apron.


There are some adorable aprons out there that honestly look great on every figure. Find one with a short skirt and cinched waist (ties in the back) and a small square front. It’s basically like an awesome, looser version of your favorite bathing suit.


The square front will just barely cover your chest, and your bum will … well, when you bend down to check your roast in the oven, he’ll see the whole dang thing. And he’ll love it.


  1. Slip him a love note when you’re both at home.


Remember love notes from high school and how excited you were to get one from your crush or boyfriend? Well, do it again! But you be the one to slip the note to him.


When you’re feeling frisky at home, write something sexy but succinct, like:


“Meet me upstairs in 5? Got something to show you … 😉 Xo”


Then slip it to him and immediately go to the bedroom. Just better book it fast, because he’ll be right on your tail.


  1. Send an unexpected sext his way today.


This one is a must-do for couples. The work day drones on for every guy, but receiving a sexy text can make a boring work day go from meh to amazing.


To learn what exactly to say in your text, read to the end!


  1. Get in bed … with nothing on.


This one’s great if you’re a bit shy about coming on to him. It’s a good “starter initiation”, and with it you’ll see just how much he loves when you initiate sex.


It’s also excellent if you want sex, you want your man satisfied, but maybe you’re not really prepared to go prancing around in lingerie. Not every night is lingerie night, are we right?


So, all ya gotta do? Get in bed a few minutes (or whenever) before he does and … be naked. You don’t even have to say anything. As soon as he leans over to kiss you goodnight or put his arm around you to spoon you … he’ll get the message.


  1. Hop on Top


You’re at home and feeling like getting frisky with your man. Ok, move purposefully without hesitation (imagine you’re a sexy, powerful actress in a movie) but also keep it graceful (light, slow movements) and sit on his lap.


You might have to (again, purposefully yet gracefully) move his: Hands, work, phone, tablet, remote, cup of coffee, beer, etc. Get that out of the way and straddle him. Then say “hi” and smile and start to kiss him. The rest is history.


  1. Mail him an “invitation.”


Ok this one’s like the love note, but way more thought out, and not only will he be raring to go as soon as he reads …




What: Sex

When: Right now.

Where: Right here.

Why: Because I love you (and you’re super hot).


he’ll also think you’re amazing for thinking and planning that far ahead.


But What if You Feel … “Awkward”?


Okay listen, we get it. Not every woman feels like Sharon Stone or Catherine Zeta Jones when she’s trying to flirt or act sexy. For many women, we feel like fakes and frauds (even though we shouldn’t!).


So, to help you feel more fit to the role and comfortable as you woo your hunk of a man, we always recommend a fantastic program called Language of Desire.


This is an entire system of courses written by a woman named Felicity Keith, relationship expert extraordinaire. Felicity takes you through the art of flirtation and seduction both in the bedroom and out.


Learn tips on sexting, living out his fantasies (and yours), and making him completely forget that porn even exists … The things you need to do to follow the program are simple, yet life-changing for you and your partner’s sex lives.


You can try the program by going here, and don’t forget: When it comes to initiating sex, try the techniques above! He’ll fall even more in love with you than he already is—guaranteed.

He’s Not Initiating Sex. Is Something Wrong?

He's Not Initiating Sex. Is Something Wrong?


When you’re used to your man initiating sex with you all the time, it can be a scary feeling when his advances seem to drop off like a cliff.


Chances are you’re first thought is that he no longer finds you attractive. And that can be a chilling blow. “Is it my new haircut?” “Have I really put on a few pounds like the scale ‘supposedly’ says?”


Or is he cheating?


Scaring you is not the purpose here, but … we’ll get to that one a little bit later.


For now, we want to help you understand why he’s not initiating sex with some of the more common reasons.


Do you relate to these scenarios? Find out what’s most likely to be the problem:


Scenario 1: You started it. Have you been putting him off in recent months? Think about it. Before this occasion during which he seems to be uninterested in sex with you, did you say “No” a bunch of times when he put on the moves? It doesn’t even matter if you had “good excuses” like your head hurt or you were tired.


The Issue: He’s sick of trying. Guys are used to getting their advances shot down at least once in a while, but when you never want to have sex, they’ll stop trying.


What to Do: This is on you, so you’ve got to make it right if you want to keep this guy. We know that sex can be stressful for women sometimes because as women, we tend to worry a lot about being “perfect” for him and being in the “right mood.” We also feel like we can’t have sex when we have “so many other things to do!”


But guys don’t think that way, and when you continually shoot them down for this reason or that … in addition to never initiating sex yourself, he’s going to stop trying. And maybe even walk away. It’s time to get steam things up with him and get his motor runnin’ again.


Scenario 2: He’s the one with insecurities and stress. Your man often gets worried about his appearance or has been known to have little self esteem. Lately, something’s happened in his life that has made him feel even worse: Maybe a project at work bombed or he made a bad investment. Maybe he’s gained weight or is losing hair.


The Issue: He’s got low self-esteem, and he thinks you don’t want to have sex with him, so he’s not even putting forth any effort.


What to Do: Your honey feels bad about himself, and you’re the only one who can make him feel better. Everyone needs comfort and kind words every once in a while, but right now, he needs a lot of it. So start initiating sex on your own. Show him how sexy you think he is, flaws included. Get erotic and surprise him with a quickie in the morning or right in the hallway after you get home from a dinner date.


Scenario 3: He might be cheating. Not only is he not initiating sex, but he’s also been acting sketchy about where he goes at night and why he’s been late after work and out of touch. In general, he seems moodier and distant.


The Issue: It’s possible he’s seeing someone on the side. When men have a sexual outlet other than you, they won’t feel that they need to initiate sex.


What to Do: Confronting him about this will be difficult, but unless you simply want to wait for the day that he leaves or continue to get stepped over, you’ll have to talk to him about this. If things can still be resolved (which often they can if that’s something that both of you want), you’ll have to rekindle the romance there as lack of sex and intimacy is one of the major drivers for men who go outside their partnership for love and sex.


The Real Reason the Male Psyche Is Complex


You’ll notice that a lot of the “What to Do” sections involve you taking charge of the romance in the relationship. But if you’re not used to that, honey, you have a lot to learn.


Men are complicated creatures. Therapists, romance experts and pop culture in general seems to always go on and on about how complicated the female mind is. It’s a running gag that everyone’s in on.


But men are just as complicated … if not more so. Yep, you read that right.


Male emotions are volatile, yet men themselves let on very little by way of clues and hints about what’s going on in their minds. When’s the last time your hubby or boyfriend sat you down to have a heart to heart? When’s the last time they voiced that they have felt hurt or neglected by something you said or did? Women may be complicated too, but at least we talk about it. Men keep it all in, and it’s up to women to figure out what’s going on.


And if a man is not initiating sex, we don’t mean to freak you out, but something’s wrong. If you don’t want him to walk out on you one day or send you a text that says “We need to talk,” you need to figure out what’s going on with him, and soon.  But in order to understand the male sexual psyche, you need an “in”.


A “Road Map” to the Male Sex Psyche That Gives You An Instant In


It’s called The Language of Desire.


They call it a literal road map to the male sexual psyche because it was created by someone who has studied the male mind for years. Felicity Keith is a leading expert in helping women heighten their connections with the men in their life.


If you’re feeling unattractive, undesirable, unwanted or emotionally detached from your man, you aren’t alone. But other women are taking charge of these feelings with The Language of Desire, and they’re finally unlocking the secrets of attraction that make men go wild with lust and longing to be and stay with their women.


These techniques are literally so good … they’ll make your man get a hard on every time you walk in the room. Seriously. No more never initiating sex. No more distant partner who barely seems present. With The Language of Desire you’ll have to bat him off!


Use all of this advice if you’ve found that your man has stopped getting intimate with with you. There’s still time to save your relationship if you act right away.