What It Means If He’s a Bad Kisser

bad kisser


Picture this: You’re currently in the throes of flirtation with an amazing guy.


– You’ve been on a few dates

– You’ve had a few moments of contact

Lots of heavy flirting talk and bedroom eye glances

– He’s the last thing you think of before drifting off to sleep and the first thing you think of every morning


So, you’ve known each other a while, but recently, things have been heating up even more.


Thing is … you haven’t actually “made contact” yet.


In other words, you two are still kissing virgins.


But the build-up is oh-so-good. You dream of that day when things will change. And you know it’s gotta be coming up. Things have been progressing toward that point for a while now … so it’s only a matter of time.


Then finally. It happens.


You stumble out of a restaurant together, laughing, and you grasp his arm, look in his eyes. He walks you home and brings you to your doorstep …


You stare at each other again. It’s happening, it’s happening …


You lean in, feel his breath on your lips, smell his close scent, annnnd …




His lips feel … sorta dry and sticky on yours, the mechanics are … awkward


There’s no “melting into each other” or “sinking against him.” It’s just … bad.


You say goodnight, and he leaves.


How on earth could everything have been leading up to this point!? It was terrible.


Furthermore, what does it mean!? What does it mean that you don’t even feel like you can move on with him anymore? How is he that bad of a kisser?


At this point, things aren’t looking good. But here’s the truth:


a) You don’t have much more time to fix things. He’s likely going to think it was a terrible kiss as well.

b) You have to remember there are two parties involved when you’re kissing.


And what could be very possible is that …. it’s not him who’s the bad kisser …


It could be you.


But before you freak out and start worrying your lovely little head, there’s good news here too.


It’s fixable.


The fact of the matter is that kissing is indeed essential to attraction and romance. It’s one of our most primal mating instincts. And if you don’t know the keys to a sensuous and wonderful kiss … even if he’s attracted to you initially … the spark and attraction simply won’t be there. And that might end things flat out.


But just because he’s a bad kisser … or you’re a bad kisser … or you’re both “bad kissers,” that doesn’t mean that you can’t make things better.


Anyone can learn how to be a good kisser.


The 4 Things You’ve Never Learned About Kissing


Want to be a better kisser? Here’s what you need to know.


  1. It’s more about what’s in your head than the physical.


You might think that kissing is all mechanics. Put one hand here, the other hand here. Cock your head this way and use X amount of pressure.


Sure, these little tips can help your technique a lot, but the physical is not what kissing is all about. In fact, it’s about more than this … a lot more.


Kissing is about connecting with someone on an emotional level. If you can do that, you’re gold. The trick is to think and feel connected with your guy while you’re kissing him. He’ll pick up on it, guaranteed.


  1. Gentle is always better in the beginning.


Women have the false idea that men desire aggressive, kinky women who are willing to try all these new techniques and be super sexual.


And while a relationship that’s been going on for two or more years might definitely dive into some different, more kinky, intense techniques for sex, at the beginning, it’s all about being gentle and sweet.


That’s what men want, and it makes you appear like more of a prize than someone who’s overly eager to jump in the sack. Men want to win you over. So, let them.


  1. It’s about slowing down … not speeding up.


A lot of women falsely assume that once kissing starts (even that first little peck), everything should just fast-forward to sex right away.


Not so.


This is what gets women in hot water half the time, and it’s what makes their partners lose interest. Not only do you lose your flirtatious sex appeal once a single kiss leads to immediate making out or even immediate sex, but the relationship becomes much more boring for both parties.


You have to learn to slow things down. There’s a great passage about this in a program called How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love. This program by renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore explains exactly how to slow things down when you kiss so that any man will simultaneously be kissing you and falling in love with you.


  1. You need to learn Kissing Empathy.


How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love has another excellent section about Kissing Empathy.


Most women aren’t aware of the importance of empathy when kissing. And men aren’t either!


It’s not uncommon for one or both parties to simply “go through the motions.” This is 100 percent wrong. A kiss that you give to your man shouldn’t be like any other that you’ve ever given because it’s with this man. He’s different, so your kissing style should be different too.


And to harness that, you’ve got to connect with him emotionally. This is empathy. It’s almost like pretending in your mind that you’re him. See the two of you kissing “from above,” and figure out your next move. What does he want? Are you connecting?


Again, How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love has an entire section on how to do this, and a number of other amazing techniques for getting the man of your dreams to not only notice you and chase after you … but to also fall head over heels for you even before you’ve kissed.


Once your lips do finally meet … he’ll never be the same again.


Oh, and if you’re in the scenario that we described at the beginning of this article? If you’ve already kissed, and He. Was. Horrible.  Remember you still have a limited amount of time to try again, fix your own kissing mistakes, and teach him to be better as well.


But don’t try again before using this advice … and do check out How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love for specific points that will make you the best kisser he’s ever had.


Trust hundreds of other women who have taken this advice and used it … he won’t ever want to let you go.

What Your Kiss SAYS to a Man

Questioning your kissing is good. That’s because kissing is one of THE most important parts of romance.


If you’ve ever been scared you were a bad kisser, you’re not alone. And actually, if you’ve indeed questioned your abilities in this department, you’re on the right track love-wise.


In other words, questioning your kissing is good.


That’s because kissing is one of THE most important parts of romance. It’s one of our most primal behaviors, and doing it with someone can help tell us whether or not we’re macking on someone we should mate with for life … or just a dud.


So don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s just 15-and 16-year-olds that should be nervous about getting it wrong.


Most people have these thoughts at least once in a relationship:


  • Am I sloppy?
  • How’s my breath?
  • Are these sucking sounds … normal?
  • Eyes open is creepy … right?


But the question remains: How do you know if you’re getting it right?


It all starts with defining your style. Most kissing styles have trademark “characteristics.” And as a woman, once you know your style, you can determine what men are thinking about you while you’re getting’ down.


Defining Your Kissing Style

(And Whether It’s Working for You … Or Not)


Check out these kissing styles that most women end up falling into at one point or another. We’ll also explain some qualities of these styles and most importantly … what each one says to a man.


  1. Your style: Aggressive


Characterized by: Biting his upper or lower lip, licking, lots of spit, grabbing him roughly or pushing him down


What it says to him about you: Though many women assume that an aggressive style of kissing is appealing to men, this isn’t necessarily always so. Perhaps after you’ve been dating a while, revving things up with a more intense technique can be satisfying, but at first … men like a more feminine, soft approach. In other words, he’s going to think you’re a bit of an animal if you’re aggressive right out of the gate.


  1. Your style: Demure


Characterized by: Always being the first to pull away, very light pressure, only kissing in closed-mouth sessions (never using tongue)


What it says to him about you: No one likes to throw the word “prude” around with judgment, but … that might just be what he’s thinking here. Kissing is innately an intimate affair. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. So you’re simply not going to get away with short pecks and have a natural, red-blooded man be super into it and satisfied. He’s going to feel like he’s doing all the work, and that gets old for him.


  1. Your style: Giggly


Characterized by: Lots of intermittent smiling and “cutesy” sounds, short quick pecks, eyes open sometimes


What it says to him about you: Unfortunately, he’s going to think of you as a little too young. Giggling, smiling cutely, and being altogether shy is going to make him feel like he’s with an 18-year-old in the back seat of his dad’s car. Not exactly what you should be going for. You’re a woman, and you should act like a woman. A sexual woman’s what he wants.


  1. Your style: Sensual


Characterized by: Pressing hard against him, lots of tongue, eyes always closed, being real handsy all over the body


What it says to him about you: The word “sensual” will naturally make you think “thumbs up!” right? And while that’s true to an extent … you’ll also want to keep in mind that if you’ve just started dating, a deep and intimate makeout sesh isn’t going to be your best idea. It’s a bit too … serious. Instead, you might want to consider a more subtle approach when you first start making out. Otherwise, you’ll scare him off.


How to Kiss: Getting It Perfect


Getting your kissing down perfect can be tough. There are so many factors at play, after all: Lips, spit, tongue, pressure, eyes, hands … So here are some tips to get you started.


  • Do what feels right.


You really care for this guy, right? Well, then go to town, and let your mind and body take over. In other words, stop thinking so much. It’s screwing you up.


  • Pay attention to your current “dating timeline.”


How you kiss with a man should rest largely on where you two are in your dating timeline. In other words, if you’re just starting to get intimate (first kiss, first time touching), don’t take things to the immediate next level by being super handsy and sensual. This is too big of a leap. Take things slower. You can always add in some more aggressive kissing down the line.


  • Take advice from the pros.


Consider getting some practical advice from “How To Kiss a Man To Make Him Fall In Love.” This is a program that outlines exactly how you can make a man fall in love with you and have overwhelming passion and desire for you … with just your kiss. There is one awesome 5-step technique in there that is especially important. It can truly make or break it with the man of your dreams.


Finally, never underestimate the importance of being a great kisser. And put some effort into it! Trust us … he’ll notice right away because not all women do this. And it can make all the difference in your future relationship.


A Simple Technique to Make Him Pant with Desire

Make Him Pant with Desire

The first in an exclusive three-part series on seduction by Felicity Keith

Make him pant with desire


It’s easy to take intercourse for granted once you’ve already had sex with your partner. And the longer you’ve been together, the more that’s likely to happen. The tension of “is tonight going to be the night?” is gone.

You may fall into a predictable pattern of anticipating sex after a date, on a Friday, or just because you happen to be in bed together and have easy access.

This technique brings back that delicious form of excitement you had in the beginning. Actually, it’s a lot like bringing back the exquisite torment of the teen years when you had rules to follow.

And you will both delight in taking each other right to the edge of the passion abyss. But like a horny, yet virtuous, teenager you obey the rules of “not going all the way”.

What I’m talking about is using the seductive power of kissing in place of sex.


Just kissing? Why is that going to turn him on?

Your lips are highly erogenous. Densely packed with nerve endings, the lips are incredibly responsive to all stimuli. In fact, it’s reported that stimulation of the mouth-lips causes more of a stir in your brain than genital stimulation.

When you kiss, all of those easily aroused nerve endings set off a chemical reaction of pleasure hormones and physical responses. Adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin levels go through the roof. Your face will flush. Your breathing and pulse quickens. And blood flow increases below the waistline.

Bottom line: Don’t underestimate the intense physical response kissing triggers!


Taking Sex Out of the Equation

You could certainly start off with some intentional kissing time and keep things moving right along toward intercourse. And I hope you do regularly make time for passionate lip-locking as part of foreplay!

However, part of why this technique is so effective in amping up the desire factor is because you don’t progress further.


Let me share a personal story.

I once had a four-hour  intensely passionate makeout session with a man I had just started dating. We’d decided that we weren’t going to have sex unless we were exclusive. But we had scorching chemistry.

So one night we ended up making out. For hours. Until our faces were sore and my hair was a tangled ratted mess.

When we finally said good night, we were both brimming with pent up desire and longing.

It ranks as one of the sexiest nights I ever enjoyed. Even higher than nights that included the full-meal deal. And a big part of what made it soooooo hot was that we agreed we weren’t going to have sex.

So I encourage you to at least try it out keeping it just to first(-ish) base.

It’s also a great go-to when intercourse truly is out of the question due to health or medical concerns.


Four Types of Kisses to Incorporate

Part of the fun with a make-out session is to explore new ways of kissing. Most couples develop a predictable pattern to their kisses so changing it up introduces a new level of interest. And as I explain in detail in The Language of Desire, unexpectedly making changes when it comes to physical intimacy can actually serve to make our partners addicted to us.

Now I know you obviously KNOW how to kiss. But it pays to go over a little refresher course now and then to make sure you break free of monotony. Throw a few of these into your regular smooching rotation.


1. The Sensual Pre-Kiss

Before you even lock lips, set the stage by staring at his lips as you lick (or even bite) your own. Then as he moves in closer, softly brush your mouth against his. But then move your attention to his cheek. Then his neck. Give him a little trail of kisses and even light biting.

This forces him to think about wanting to kiss you and builds anticipation.


2. Push and Pull

Use your hands to enhance and direct the action. Grab him by the belt loops and pull his pelvis in tight to yours. Cradle his face as you kiss. Push him up against the wall as you lay one on him.

Do one or all of these (and don’t forget that making out while dry humping gives the full teenage experience)



3. Love Licks…and Bites

Use your tongue in unexpected ways. Lightly run it along his top lip and then his bottom lip (not on his teeth though, that’s kind of weird). It’s a delightful sensation.

Gently suck on part of his lip and then push it against and through your teeth. Start out softly and gauge his response. Then increase the suction and take it to stronger biting. Alternate between suction and using teeth with softer kisses.

A note on tongues: I’ve found the best kissing happens when you alternate between lip kisses and full tongue kisses. And tongues are kept firm but flexible when engaged. A rigid poking tongue doesn’t feel good. Neither does a flaccid lazy one. Think of your tongues as mingling and conversing.


4. The Tease

I threw this fourth one in here because by its very nature, sex will be out of the question.

Basically, you go for a hot-and-heavy kiss in a totally unexpected non-sexy moment.

For example…

Right as he is racing out the door, late for an important meeting, grab him and forcefully pull him in for a deep kiss with your body pressed up against his. Then push him away leaving him stunned and disoriented.

Or right as you pull up to your Aunt Elma’s house for a family dinner, kiss him like you mean it for a minute and then get out of the car.


Ready for more?

Look for my second installment on seduction here very soon. In the meantime, you can master a slew of seduction techniques by getting your hot little hands on my best-selling program The Language of Desire.

Warning: Men have been known to become helplessly addicted to the women who learn these techniques!


language of desire