“Mike, I need your help, man. My girlfriend and I broke up a couple weeks ago. She doesn’t know I still have access to her phone records, but I do. And she’s been making phone calls to somebody out of state. The other day they talked for like 40 minutes. I don’t want to keep her from dating but I feel like if I don’t do something she might fall for this other person. What do I do?”
A while ago I read a book called “The Psychopath Test.” It’s about how 1% of everybody out there is a psychopath who has absolutely no empathy (a lot of really successful business people are actually psychopaths.)
Anyway, there’s a bit in the book where the author says “Right about now you’re probably wondering if YOU are psychopath.”
And when I read that, I nodded my head up and down because I was.
And then he said . . .
“Well, if you’re wondering if you’re a psychopath, it means you’re not. Real psychopaths never even consider the idea that there’s something off or wrong about them.”
Which was a relief.
Anyway, I’m not saying you’re a psychopath, but you are a LOVE psychopath right now.
And you’re not alone.
Every day I get emails from men and women saying they dug through their ex’s mail, snooped on their Facebook profile, “just happened” to look through their text messages or (and this is awful) created a fake online dating profile and flirted with their ex online.
And . . . huh . . . that’s love psychopath behavior.
Listen: I know, the breakup is hard. And we ALL act crazy when our heart is broken and we’re CRAVING that person more than anything.
But your ex DESERVES her privacy. And going through her phone records (or emails, or anything else) isn’t romantic or noble or any of the other lies you might tell yourself.
So what do you do instead?
Well, in “TextYourExBack” I say:
“The only way to get your ex back is to let them go first.”
And that’s 100% true. For you to have any chance at all of having a great relationship with that girl or guy again, you have to accept that the relationship you had is over and start from scratch to create something great that actually works.
And that means you have to escape this “fear zone” you’re living in. Yes, it’s possible she’s talking to somebody out of state who’s got great hair and six pack abs and genitals that do tricks.
But it’s also possible it’s just her crazy cousin who follows Phish and sells beads for a living.
Here’s what I recommend:
1. Get her phone records transferred to her TODAY.
2. If you’ve got any passwords of hers or anything like that LOSE THEM.
3. Go watch the video TextYourExBack and decide if the program is for you .
About Michael Fiore
Since early 2010, Michael’s been teaching men and women around the world how to use simple digital tools to dramatically improve their relationships.