What It Means If He’s a Bad Kisser

bad kisser

 

Picture this: You’re currently in the throes of flirtation with an amazing guy.

 

– You’ve been on a few dates

– You’ve had a few moments of contact

Lots of heavy flirting talk and bedroom eye glances

– He’s the last thing you think of before drifting off to sleep and the first thing you think of every morning

 

So, you’ve known each other a while, but recently, things have been heating up even more.

 

Thing is … you haven’t actually “made contact” yet.

 

In other words, you two are still kissing virgins.

 

But the build-up is oh-so-good. You dream of that day when things will change. And you know it’s gotta be coming up. Things have been progressing toward that point for a while now … so it’s only a matter of time.

 

Then finally. It happens.

 

You stumble out of a restaurant together, laughing, and you grasp his arm, look in his eyes. He walks you home and brings you to your doorstep …

 

You stare at each other again. It’s happening, it’s happening …

 

You lean in, feel his breath on your lips, smell his close scent, annnnd …

 

Clunk.

 

His lips feel … sorta dry and sticky on yours, the mechanics are … awkward

 

There’s no “melting into each other” or “sinking against him.” It’s just … bad.

 

You say goodnight, and he leaves.

 

How on earth could everything have been leading up to this point!? It was terrible.

 

Furthermore, what does it mean!? What does it mean that you don’t even feel like you can move on with him anymore? How is he that bad of a kisser?

 

At this point, things aren’t looking good. But here’s the truth:

 

a) You don’t have much more time to fix things. He’s likely going to think it was a terrible kiss as well.

b) You have to remember there are two parties involved when you’re kissing.

 

And what could be very possible is that …. it’s not him who’s the bad kisser …

 

It could be you.

 

But before you freak out and start worrying your lovely little head, there’s good news here too.

 

It’s fixable.

 

The fact of the matter is that kissing is indeed essential to attraction and romance. It’s one of our most primal mating instincts. And if you don’t know the keys to a sensuous and wonderful kiss … even if he’s attracted to you initially … the spark and attraction simply won’t be there. And that might end things flat out.

 

But just because he’s a bad kisser … or you’re a bad kisser … or you’re both “bad kissers,” that doesn’t mean that you can’t make things better.

 

Anyone can learn how to be a good kisser.

 

The 4 Things You’ve Never Learned About Kissing

 

Want to be a better kisser? Here’s what you need to know.

 

  1. It’s more about what’s in your head than the physical.

 

You might think that kissing is all mechanics. Put one hand here, the other hand here. Cock your head this way and use X amount of pressure.

 

Sure, these little tips can help your technique a lot, but the physical is not what kissing is all about. In fact, it’s about more than this … a lot more.

 

Kissing is about connecting with someone on an emotional level. If you can do that, you’re gold. The trick is to think and feel connected with your guy while you’re kissing him. He’ll pick up on it, guaranteed.

 

  1. Gentle is always better in the beginning.

 

Women have the false idea that men desire aggressive, kinky women who are willing to try all these new techniques and be super sexual.

 

And while a relationship that’s been going on for two or more years might definitely dive into some different, more kinky, intense techniques for sex, at the beginning, it’s all about being gentle and sweet.

 

That’s what men want, and it makes you appear like more of a prize than someone who’s overly eager to jump in the sack. Men want to win you over. So, let them.

 

  1. It’s about slowing down … not speeding up.

 

A lot of women falsely assume that once kissing starts (even that first little peck), everything should just fast-forward to sex right away.

 

Not so.

 

This is what gets women in hot water half the time, and it’s what makes their partners lose interest. Not only do you lose your flirtatious sex appeal once a single kiss leads to immediate making out or even immediate sex, but the relationship becomes much more boring for both parties.

 

You have to learn to slow things down. There’s a great passage about this in a program called How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love. This program by renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore explains exactly how to slow things down when you kiss so that any man will simultaneously be kissing you and falling in love with you.

 

  1. You need to learn Kissing Empathy.

 

How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love has another excellent section about Kissing Empathy.

 

Most women aren’t aware of the importance of empathy when kissing. And men aren’t either!

 

It’s not uncommon for one or both parties to simply “go through the motions.” This is 100 percent wrong. A kiss that you give to your man shouldn’t be like any other that you’ve ever given because it’s with this man. He’s different, so your kissing style should be different too.

 

And to harness that, you’ve got to connect with him emotionally. This is empathy. It’s almost like pretending in your mind that you’re him. See the two of you kissing “from above,” and figure out your next move. What does he want? Are you connecting?

 

Again, How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love has an entire section on how to do this, and a number of other amazing techniques for getting the man of your dreams to not only notice you and chase after you … but to also fall head over heels for you even before you’ve kissed.

 

Once your lips do finally meet … he’ll never be the same again.

 

Oh, and if you’re in the scenario that we described at the beginning of this article? If you’ve already kissed, and He. Was. Horrible.  Remember you still have a limited amount of time to try again, fix your own kissing mistakes, and teach him to be better as well.

 

But don’t try again before using this advice … and do check out How to Kiss a Man to Make Him Fall in Love for specific points that will make you the best kisser he’s ever had.

 

Trust hundreds of other women who have taken this advice and used it … he won’t ever want to let you go.

What Your Kiss SAYS to a Man

Questioning your kissing is good. That’s because kissing is one of THE most important parts of romance.

 

If you’ve ever been scared you were a bad kisser, you’re not alone. And actually, if you’ve indeed questioned your abilities in this department, you’re on the right track love-wise.

 

In other words, questioning your kissing is good.

 

That’s because kissing is one of THE most important parts of romance. It’s one of our most primal behaviors, and doing it with someone can help tell us whether or not we’re macking on someone we should mate with for life … or just a dud.

 

So don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s just 15-and 16-year-olds that should be nervous about getting it wrong.

 

Most people have these thoughts at least once in a relationship:

 

  • Am I sloppy?
  • How’s my breath?
  • Are these sucking sounds … normal?
  • Eyes open is creepy … right?

 

But the question remains: How do you know if you’re getting it right?

 

It all starts with defining your style. Most kissing styles have trademark “characteristics.” And as a woman, once you know your style, you can determine what men are thinking about you while you’re getting’ down.

 

Defining Your Kissing Style

(And Whether It’s Working for You … Or Not)

 

Check out these kissing styles that most women end up falling into at one point or another. We’ll also explain some qualities of these styles and most importantly … what each one says to a man.

 

  1. Your style: Aggressive

               

Characterized by: Biting his upper or lower lip, licking, lots of spit, grabbing him roughly or pushing him down

 

What it says to him about you: Though many women assume that an aggressive style of kissing is appealing to men, this isn’t necessarily always so. Perhaps after you’ve been dating a while, revving things up with a more intense technique can be satisfying, but at first … men like a more feminine, soft approach. In other words, he’s going to think you’re a bit of an animal if you’re aggressive right out of the gate.

 

  1. Your style: Demure

               

Characterized by: Always being the first to pull away, very light pressure, only kissing in closed-mouth sessions (never using tongue)

 

What it says to him about you: No one likes to throw the word “prude” around with judgment, but … that might just be what he’s thinking here. Kissing is innately an intimate affair. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. So you’re simply not going to get away with short pecks and have a natural, red-blooded man be super into it and satisfied. He’s going to feel like he’s doing all the work, and that gets old for him.

 

  1. Your style: Giggly

               

Characterized by: Lots of intermittent smiling and “cutesy” sounds, short quick pecks, eyes open sometimes

 

What it says to him about you: Unfortunately, he’s going to think of you as a little too young. Giggling, smiling cutely, and being altogether shy is going to make him feel like he’s with an 18-year-old in the back seat of his dad’s car. Not exactly what you should be going for. You’re a woman, and you should act like a woman. A sexual woman’s what he wants.

 

  1. Your style: Sensual

               

Characterized by: Pressing hard against him, lots of tongue, eyes always closed, being real handsy all over the body

 

What it says to him about you: The word “sensual” will naturally make you think “thumbs up!” right? And while that’s true to an extent … you’ll also want to keep in mind that if you’ve just started dating, a deep and intimate makeout sesh isn’t going to be your best idea. It’s a bit too … serious. Instead, you might want to consider a more subtle approach when you first start making out. Otherwise, you’ll scare him off.

 

How to Kiss: Getting It Perfect

 

Getting your kissing down perfect can be tough. There are so many factors at play, after all: Lips, spit, tongue, pressure, eyes, hands … So here are some tips to get you started.

 

  • Do what feels right.

 

You really care for this guy, right? Well, then go to town, and let your mind and body take over. In other words, stop thinking so much. It’s screwing you up.

 

  • Pay attention to your current “dating timeline.”

 

How you kiss with a man should rest largely on where you two are in your dating timeline. In other words, if you’re just starting to get intimate (first kiss, first time touching), don’t take things to the immediate next level by being super handsy and sensual. This is too big of a leap. Take things slower. You can always add in some more aggressive kissing down the line.

 

  • Take advice from the pros.

 

Consider getting some practical advice from “How To Kiss a Man To Make Him Fall In Love.” This is a program that outlines exactly how you can make a man fall in love with you and have overwhelming passion and desire for you … with just your kiss. There is one awesome 5-step technique in there that is especially important. It can truly make or break it with the man of your dreams.

 

Finally, never underestimate the importance of being a great kisser. And put some effort into it! Trust us … he’ll notice right away because not all women do this. And it can make all the difference in your future relationship.

 

How I Finally Found Love When I Pulled the Plug on Relationships

I Finally Found Love When I Pulled the Plug on Relationships

 

You may think that “pulling the plug on relationships” is a little drastic, and maybe it is to most people.

 

But it’s what I did, and I lived to tell the tale. Actually, I more than lived; I prospered. Pulling the plug is what saved me.

 

Today … I have the man of my dreams at my side. He loves me for me, he dotes on me, and we’ve been together for several years. Every day, I feel like I love him more, and I know, I know, that sounds so stupid and cliché, but ladies, once you’ve experienced it, you know it’s not cliché.

 

It’s real.

 

Let’s Start at the Beginning

 

I’m sitting alone in my car in a middle school parking lot. It’s a Saturday afternoon in spring, and I distinctly remember uncomfortably shifting in my seat because of this annoying extra flab that had developed on either side of my upper back. That’s where I gain weight, and I was in a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup phase. I’d gained about 10 pounds in a month or two.

 

So, I’m sitting there staring at gross piles of snow, waiting. I’m waiting for a call on my cell.

 

The night before, I had been up late in bed texting back and forth with my ex, Jason, telling him how bad I had gotten … how upset I was after the terrible breakup we’d had. It’d been several weeks, and I regretted everything I had done, I wanted him back … needed him back I said.

 

He couldn’t talk right then, so he told me he’d call me the next day after he got out of work.

 

I was living with my older brother and his wife (I know …) at the time; I’d moved out of Jason’s house after the breakup.

 

I didn’t want my brother or his wife to hear our conversation: thus, the middle school parking lot.

 

Sitting there in my sweats, greasy hair, bags under my eyes from not sleeping, peanut butter cup wrappers on the floor, an empty Big Gulp next to me, I felt positively awful — the worst I ever had in my life. I missed Jason so much. I wanted him back so badly, and I was deathly afraid that everything was against me. I had hit bottom, but I still had a little hope.

 

Then it got worse.

 

I waited for Jason to call, and he didn’t. I waited and waited, and finally, I decided to call him.

 

It rang several times, then someone picked up. Someone was talking away from the phone with someone else, muffled voices, and finally, a voice came on. A woman’s voice.

 

“Don’t call here,” she said. “Jason has a new girlfriend, and he does NOT want to talk to you. Stop calling. Get a life.”

 

I was stunned. Tears instantly began to flood out of my eyes.

 

Then it got worse … again.

 

I realized I knew the voice.

 

A co-worker at Jason’s office. Someone I had seen and even spent time with. Someone who I had — in passing —suspected of having had a crush on Jason. And whose phone number (after some digging) I’d seen pop up on his phone when he’d left it in the other room.

 

You can only imagine what happened after that.

 

I was totally defeated. Not only had that entire relationship been a lie, but Jason had been the relationship that was supposed to be my saving grace. Before him, I had been with another guy for two years … who had also cheated.

 

I had absolutely no faith in men or relationships. Twice … my only two long-term relationships had ended in shambles. Cheated on twice, I had been left with almost zero self-esteem.

 

For a while, I went into a deep depression.

 

Several weeks passed, and I did almost nothing. When I wasn’t dragging myself to work and doing the bare minimum, I stayed in bed, watching TV.

 

Finally, one Saturday morning about six weeks after that fateful day, I heard a gentle knock on my door. I was still living with my brother and his wife, trying not to bother them but not really thinking about when I would move out or about my future. When you’re that far gone, you can basically only take it a day at a time.

 

I said come in, and my sister-in-law Amy poked her head around the door.

 

“Hi,” she said softly. I was lying in bed, and she came and sat next to me. “How are you doing?”

 

Not wanting to alarm her, I feigned I’d had a headache, blah blah, blah, but she saw right through me. She said she’d been watching what I was going through and she had something she wanted to tell me.

 

“You didn’t know me before I met your brother, but I was actually where you are right now only about three months before we met and he introduced me to you and your family. Did you know that?”

 

I had not. Amy had always seemed so put-together and in control. Almost annoyingly so. I told her I hadn’t.

 

“I was,” she continued. “I’d just been cheated on and had my heart broken, but I did something kind of weird to get out of it.”

 

She told me that a friend of hers had given her the advice of trying to “forget men … and relationships … completely.” At first, she thought it was stupid, but she said she did a little searching online and found that this was a way that a lot of women finally found their way out of depression after multiple relationship failures like she had been through.

 

She told me that she took the advice. And once she totally dropped the idea of men and relationships altogether and focused on herself, she felt instantly better.

 

She started hanging out with friends and family more. She focused on her health and her career. And she focused on boosting her own self-regard and self-confidence.

 

And she said almost two months after that, she met my brother at a hockey game.

 

What she said, hit me hard. All I’d ever, ever considered was how I could get Jason back or how I could make him jealous … or find someone even better to throw in his face. I’d never thought of forgetting love altogether.

 

So, I did it.

 

And when I did? Everything changed just like Amy had said.

 

I did a little searching of my own, in fact. Amy’s advice was helpful, but I needed something more concrete to build myself back up if I was really going to get out of my rut. In the end, I used a course to get my confidence back, and it worked wonders. If you want to try it, it honestly truly saved me. It’s called the Gorgeous Course, and it helped me to redefine how I see myself and put all my energy and focus on me and my dreams. It has some truly amazing advice that totally changed my mindset in it. I attribute my success to Amy … and to that course.

 

Not only did I stop attaching my self-worth to a man, but I improved my circumstances. I moved out of my brother’s, worked hard at my job and landed a promotion, joined some fitness classes that Amy was taking, spent loads of time with family and friends, and … BAM, that was when I met someone.

 

Honestly, it was the weirdest and most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. Since then, I’ve met other women who have found the same thing happened to them: forget men and relationships … improve YOU … and you’ll find the greatest relationship of your life.

 

Don’t let anyone tell you that it can’t be done either. Because I have lived it.

 

If you are in a situation like I was on that spring day, sitting in my car in a parking lot … you can make it out too and find the man of your dreams. Just take my advice. Use the course and don’t attach your worth to men. It’s you who makes the difference.