Switch On, Switch Off: Solutions for Becoming an Irresistible Bombshell Overnight

In order to become a man’s obsession, his addiction, you’ve got to know what makes him operate.

 

Every woman has that one special man she can’t stop thinking about.

For you, this guy might be your current boyfriend or husband.

Or perhaps it’s a guy you just started seeing … or one who has no idea you’re even into him at all!

Regardless of what your status is, we all have that one object of desire. We think about him all the time. We’re probably even a little obsessed.

 

And in return … we want him to be obsessed with us.

 

Come on, you know it’s true! You don’t want to be “just some woman” to him. You don’t want to be “a good woman” in his eyes.

 

You want to be the best woman! You want to be adored by him. Even more than that, you want to be the one he can’t live without.

 

Every day, you should be the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning. Last thing he thinks of when he goes to bed. He’s thinking about you all the time. Everything reminds him of you.

 

If he’s not with you, he’s wondering what you’re doing. He’s desperate to know what you’re doing, in fact.

 

In short, we want to be his addiction.

 

Okay, do you have this man in mind?

 

And … how are things between the two of you?

Does he adore you?

Are you his obsession?

Is he completely and utterly addicted to you?

 

If not … well, this is for you, doll.

 

Because what you need to know is … you can make him become addicted to you.

 

Just gotta know one essential thing about how men operate.

 

The Secret to Man’s True Desire

 

In order to become a man’s obsession … his addiction … you’ve got to know what makes him operate.

 

And this leads us to one crucial feeling that men are constantly seeking.

 

No. Seriously. I’m not sure this is fully sinking in.

 

This One. Feeling. is what Makes. Men. Tick.

 

Okay, here goes.

 

Let’s start with a question: Have you ever heard the expression “The thrill of the chase”?

 

It’s a fairly common one—used to denote the excitement one feels when trying to accomplish something difficult. Notice, however, that the expression doesn’t say “The thrill of the accomplishment.” Rather, the emphasis is on the … well, the hard part: the chase.

 

This is noteworthy for us why, you ask?

 

Because it’s exactly the sentiment that applies to men when they’re courting or trying to impress a woman.

 

It isn’t the success part of the work that gets their motors runnin’. Okay, maybe for a slight moment after a woman finally, finally says that “Yes, I will go on a date with you” or “Yes, I love you too,” the man will feel a warm sense of triumph over his accomplishment.

 

But it doesn’t last.

 

And for the most part, it’s still that thrill of the chase, the hunt, the work if you will, that keeps him going, striving, and super interested in whatever woman he’s attempting to, ahem, conquer.

 

And this can all be narrowed down to one word:

 

Challenge.

 

Men want a challenge. Whatever it is, they want to work for it.

 

Give a man a cushy, respected, well-paying job that he didn’t earn, and he’ll quit.

 

Give a man an amazing body that is always perfectly toned no matter how much he eats or how much he works out, and he won’t appreciate it. In fact, he’ll probably be annoyed by it.

 

Give a man a beautiful, slender, hard-working, funny, doting woman who adores him (the “perfect” woman), and he’ll break it off.

 

So … huh!?

 

Yes, it’s a little confusing. Let’s explain further.

 

 

No Challenge … No Desire

 

We all know that men want to be protectors. They want to be hunters. They want to be protagonists in the narrative of the world. But what do all of these “roles” have in common?

 

They’re challenging. And they give him an adrenaline rush.

 

What’s adrenaline?

 

It’s a hormone that comes about in times of high stress, strain or pressure. For example, when you’re up for a big job promotion that you’re *worried* you won’t get … adrenaline hits.

 

Or when you’re getting ready to go on a date with someone, but you’re *worried* they won’t like you … adrenaline hits again.

 

Notice the word “worried”?

 

Yeah, you’re gonna have to make him a little worried. More on that later.

 

Back to the point. If a man isn’t challenged in some way … if he doesn’t have to work hard to achieve something … he could care less.

 

Get it now?

 

If your man doesn’t have to work for you … fill in the blank … he could care less.

 

This is not a position you want to be in.

 

So, what does this mean?

 

It means that even if you already adore him and feel a strong pull to dote on him and make courting you suuuper easy on him … STOP. NOW.

 

Because you’re going to need to keep him “on his toes” in order to keep him addicted to you. Keep him worried. You see, there’s a lightning-fast adrenal buildup that happens every single time a man is doing or thinking / imagining anything that is a super big, stereotypically masculine obsession.

 

And “getting” a “difficult-to-get” woman … is definitely a masculine obsession.

 

Don’t worry, this isn’t difficult if you know what to do, and it’s also not a trick. This is actually a mating tradition that’s common in numerous types of animals. Just so happens it’s also a human thing.

 

 

So … How Do Women Tap Into This?

 

We’re already over the first hurdle. You now know that throwing yourself at him and being at his every beck and call is not the way to get him addicted to you.

 

Now the issue is that many women simply don’t know how to go about harnessing this challenge and adrenaline rush in their men.

 

It might be easy to assume that all it takes to stimulate a man is to appear sexually attractive, but the truth of the matter is … it takes something much more complicated and thought-out to tap into this reservoir of endless attention that a man gives to his most cherished hobbies (women).

 

Well … to put it simply, you must learn the little-known ability of keeping a man constantly emotionally wound up.

 

So now the question is how do you do it?

 

 

How to Make Any Man Feel “Challenged”

(and Therefore Obsessed With You)

 

  1. Show you’re in demand.

 

Don’t lie, but don’t make obviously evident your dearth of date and outing options either.

 

Instead, make sure you refuse / reschedule his first few ideas for getting together. Or if your boyfriend / husband wants to see a movie this weekend? You can’t, you’re busy. Yes, maybe you’re “busy” cleaning out your closet or going to the mall … but he doesn’t have to know that. You’re just … busy. You have other options; that’s key.

 

  1. Be self-sufficient.

 

Women understand that men want to feel needed, but keep this in mind: you need to be choosy with how often you need him. Don’t need him for every little thing, or again, it will be too easy for him.

 

Ask him to reach a box that’s up high every once in a while, but then change your own tire and tell him the story a few days later. He’ll freak and wonder: “Wait a minute, how’d she do that herself? She’s comfortable without me …?”

 

  1. Have your own hobbies and interests.

 

You love him. Or at least you’re super into him. So naturally, you think loving everything that he does is a good idea.

 

Not so, darling. In fact, it’s more about having your own hobbies and interests. Again, he’ll be miffed (aka stressed) that you’re so interested in things that have nothing to do with him. This will stress him out … and he’ll feel challenged. See what we’re doing here?

 

  1. Use the right words.

 

Language is everything. In all of the above tips, you need to use the right language or they won’t work. For example, if you want to reschedule his invitation for a date so that you’re more of a challenge … you can’t just say “Heck no, I’ve got plans! Haha SORRY!”

 

Nuh-uh.

 

You need to say something like “Oh shoot, I’d love to, but I have friends from out-of-town coming in. Maybe next week?” It’s short, it reveals that you’re in demand, but it’s friendly too. It shows that you’re still interested in doing something later.

 

But what is the right language in other situations? Well, remember that the goal is to get him wound up. So, you’ll need some very special phrases. This can be hard. Lots of women have had easy and quick success using Love Commands. These are little, easy-to-remember phrases that you can use with any man, and they seriously work like a charm. Really, no thinking and worrying whether they’ll work or not on your part. Try them!

 

So if you do all of these things? You’ll start to notice some things …

 

When he’s around you, his breathing will get a bit faster … you might even see him start to sweat a bit … he’ll begin looking at you more … you’ll actually catch him staring …

 

And if you keep it up (remember, “the thrill of the chase!” … keep him on his toes!), if you keep it up … I guarantee he’ll be yours forever.

How Men Are Like Cats When It Comes to Commitment

Love Advice From a Cat!?

 

 

If you’ve ever owned a cat or had a friend with a cat, let me ask you a question:

Let’s say you were to see that cat in the corner of the living room—facing away from you.

Now let’s say that you slowly—as quietly as possible—snuck up on the little guy.

He doesn’t notice (bravo, you’re amazingly stealthy in this scenario!).

And without a peep … when you got juuust close enough to touch him … you reached out to scoop him up like a fumbled football.

 

Alright. In this scenario, how does the cat react when you do this?

 

Here are the correct answers:

 

  • It takes off running and leaves you a scratched, bloody mess.

 

Yeah … that’s the only answer …

 

So why do cats instinctively do this any time someone sneaks up on them?

 

Answer: Because they actually hate sneakiness, despite being amazingly sneaky themselves.

 

Naturally, this is a hypothetical experiment. And its purpose is to demonstrate 3 things.

 

  • First, let’s get this out of the way: Don’t do this to a cat. We don’t want you to get hurt!

 

  • Second, you shouldn’t do it because one of the most important things to know about cats is that they DO NOT like sneakiness that isn’t their own sneakiness.

 

  • And finally, men aren’t cats butin this very particular way, they are very much like them in that they have radar for sneakiness … and they hate it.

 

So Why Are We Saying This?

 

Because a lot of women don’t understand it.

A lot of women try to get their man to commit like trying to snatch up a cat, and the rate of success is just about the same.

Here, let’s mention that this is definitely not your fault. In fact, in almost all cases, it’s never the woman’s fault because understanding the uniqueness of the male mind is an extremely complicated affair.

Naturally, that’s why we’re here, and we’ll be discussing this in depth later. But first, let’s take this cat idea from a different perspective to explore how cats (and men) do like to be approached.

 

The Correct Cat (Man) Approach

 

Alright, this time, we’re not on the hunt. We’re not stalking. We’re approaching the cat in the corner of the living room from the front. He knows we’re there. We move slowly. He sees us coming. What happens then?

Well, for the most part, this is a successful approach. For cats and men. Cats, like men, are visual creatures. Cats prefer to see things coming.

So do men.

By approaching a cat from the front, we can get into his personal space without making him hate us (yay!). This approach is 100% honest. It’s all on the up-and-up.

Additionally, after you accomplish the task of getting close to the cat while it sees you, you can gently pet it. And for most cats (and men), this is what they want—to be petted, respected, and adored.

 

The Cat Principle Explained

 

Well, this goes without saying but, newsflash! Men are bigger than cats. Oh, and human!

 

But it’s the principle here that counts.

 

That is … at the first hint of a woman trying to be sneaky, a man will immediately find ways to make himself scarce.

Perhaps they won’t make a beeline for beneath the sofa … but mark my words: they’ll find a way to flee.

 

Men’s Paranoia and Learning to Be Genuine

 

So, are men really so scared of being “snuck up on”?

 

Yep. You may not know it, but lots of men today are paranoid about hidden motives in their partners. This is something that men discuss frequently among themselves, and they mull over it a lot.

 

That’s because men are obsessed with having a genuine woman—one who doesn’t tell lies, play tricks, or do the bait-and-switch.

 

You probably don’t realize this because (even though any self-respecting woman is also looking for a genuine man) women are less miffed if a man plays a cute trick to get her attention or nab a date with her.

 

Think of all the romantic comedies that are about a man pretending to be someone else, making a bet, or doing some other form of trickery that ends up with the two leads falling in love. Then, when the trick is revealed and the woman runs away in short-lived upset, the rest of the film is about him convincing her to forgive him …

 

… and she always does.

 

For men, however, they’re not so ready to forget sneakiness. In fact, if it happens in a relationship that’s only just blooming … he’s basically out of there as soon as he senses any artfulness on the part of the woman.

 

As a woman, you don’t want to give him a good reason to call you sneaky. Actually, you don’t want to give him a good reason to even be on-guard. It’s got to be genuineness and honesty the whole way.

 

Are You Being “Sneaky” Without Even Realizing It?

 

Because women are not as predisposed to be repulsed by sneakiness as men are … we often don’t understand what makes us seem sneaky.

 

You may be a completely genuine woman who has no ulterior motives … but from a male’s point-of-view, you might be doing something that appears sneaky. Here are a few examples:

 

  • Wearing lots of makeup. You just want to look nice. He thinks that you’re hiding something.

 

  • Giggling and cooing. You see it as your best girlish flirting. He sees it as over-the-top and wonders “but what is she really like?”

 

  • Dressing provocatively. You think: “Men like this sort of thing, and I want to impress him.” (And yes, we can all agree that they do like this). But he wonders if you’re just trying to “nab him” with your sexual prowess.

 

  • Appearing at a place that he frequents (bar, restaurant, gym). You see it as ensuring you stay in touch. He feels stalked (like a cat).

 

It’s exceptionally important to note that doing the things listed above isn’t bad. These are things that most women are wont to do in order to impress their date or partner. If you’ve ever worn a lot of makeup on a date or “accidentally” bumped into your man at his local grocery store around the time he gets out of work … you’re not alone.

 

But unfortunately, just like the cat who feels he’s being stalked … men hate this.

 

Because men  love their freedom.

 

Men’s Quest for Freedom

 

To a man, being free and being alive are one and the same. The threat of losing his freedom is even scarier to a man than cliff diving, public speaking, earthquakes, or romantic comedy movie marathons.

 

To put it simply: if you want to lose a man as quickly as possible, grab onto him as tightly as possible. He’ll slip out of your grasp like an eel and put an ocean of distance between the two of you in one fluid motion.

 

To a man, the thought of getting locked down to the wrong woman is the same thing as being house-bound—never able to leave. They want their freedom.

 

And a woman who is sneaky is a red flag.

 

What does this mean for you?

 

  • It means that you cannot use stealth or sneakiness to make sure that your man falls head over heals in love with you.

 

  • It means that he’ll instinctively sense when you’re not being genuine … and

 

  • It means that the old tricks won’t work.

 

Fortunately, there are approaches that do work.

 

Here, you might be saying: “What approaches!? I thought you just said we can’t use tricks?

 

That’s true. But these aren’t tricks.

 

I call them approaches because they are … tactics, if you will, that allow you to engage men so tightly they’ll never want to let you go while at the same time, allowing you to be completely your own genuine self.

 

The Genuine Way to a Man’s Heart (No Sneakiness Involved)

 

  • Nail your look. This is tough, but you’ve got to marry sexy, girlish, and elegant. Good rule of thumb: Pick one makeup/hair accent and one “sexy accent.” For example, wear red lips, but tone down the eye makeup or vice versa. Same for clothes: Show a little leg … or show a little cleavage. Not both.

 

  • Defy him. Your first instinct is to have him think that you like, love, hate … all the same things as him. This is entirely wrong. If he starts going on about this amazing movie you don’t like, tell him you’re not a fan. Trust me, he’ll take notice. He wants you to be Not his mini-me.

 

  • Turn your mind off. Huh? You read it right: stop thinking about what to say next, how your hair looks, whether he’s looking at another woman or if he’s having a good time. Just hang out like you would with your best friend.

 

  • Use subtle commands that are genuine, deep-down expressions of how you feel. For women in the know, we call these “Love Commands”, which you can learn more about here. In short, a “Love Command” is a psychological message that helps men to feel close to you. These aren’t made-up quotes that are some form of trickery. Remember, that’s not what you want (think of the cat).

 

These are quotes that tell any man how you truly feel, and there are certain moments when you should use them for the greatest effect. It’s all in the link if you’re interested.

 

As a result of using these techniques, you’ll see a huge change in the way men react to you. It’s kind of frightening, because it’s immediate! I was sort of freaked out at first (but of course it’s an amazing skillset to possess).

 

If you’ve been struggling with men seeming to be all-in for you one moment … and halfway down the street the next … know that you’re not alone, girl! It’s happened to us all. But do consider trying these techniques and see how they work for you. I think you’ll really be happy with how the tides change in your favor.

 

Oh, and don’t forget those love quotes; I love those, and they’re essential (they’re actually what made my man finally seal the deal—yes, a ring! —so I credit them with my happiness!)

 

Good luck!

Are Bad Past Relationships Hurting Your Chances at True Love?

How Having a String of Bad Past Relationships Is Hurting Your Chances at True Love

 

are you making these unhealthy relationship mistakes

Raise your hand if you’ve never been in a terrible relationship before.

 

Yeah, not many hands.

 

Almost everyone has gone through at least one awful relationship before. And for most of us … there have been more than just one.

 

Try a string of ‘em.

 

We likely remember them all too well. Near the end: The tears, fights, hang-ups, accusations, battles via text message. We’ve had sleepless nights, cried in the bathroom at work … maybe even had a little too much to drink and called our ex—only to hear someone else in the background. Someone who definitely didn’t sound like “just a friend.”

 

Times like this are tough every day. Well, more than that: They’re absolutely terrible.

 

And what’s worse? Well … when it happens time and again.

 

It’s sort of hard not to ask yourself at that point: What’s wrong with me!?

 

But fortunately … eventually … we make the decision that we should get back out there again. Friends tell us. Our moms sit us down. And you probably have more than one conversation with yourself in the mirror: “It’s time. Get back out there.

 

Ok, so great, right?

 

Just one thing.

 

We think we’re ready for future love. We think we’re ready to let the past be water under the bridge.

 

But alas … those awful relationships back there in your past? They haunt you. A terrible relationship from the past is like a pesky ghost. It can so easily deter and prevent you from being open to finding true love in the future.

 

You might like to tell yourself that moving on from a string of bad relationships will be easy and that fully trusting someone again will be simple, but it’s not always quite so easy.

 

One of the main culprits? Murphy’s Law.

 

What’s Murphy’s Law?

 

“Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”

 

In other words: “How many times … how many ways … have my past relationships screwed up? Countless. Therefore … it’s bound to happen again.”

 

Simple logic. Yet fortunately for you, a flawed concept. Murphy’s Law doesn’t have to happen.

 

There are ways to move past this idea and come out on the other side ready for a real relationship that won’t be anything like your last ones.

 

How to Move Past the Past and Be Open to True Love Again

 

If you hope to be in a healthy relationship in the future, you may need to take a few key steps to make this happen. Namely, you’ve got to make sure that you don’t self-sabotage or throw away a potentially great relationship.

 

To do this, take the following steps to make sure that you get past these hurdles and move full force into the future.

 

  1. Be open to learning from your mistakes.

 

One reason that many people feel that they are doomed as far as future relationships go is that they assume that if they were the cause (or part of the cause) of past breakups, they’re bound to be the cause of a future breakup as well.

 

The truth is that people break up for many reasons. And yes, it is possible that you were the cause of breakups that happened in the past. But the awesome thing about being human is that you can change if you want to.

 

For example, if you had a relationship in which your partner broke up with you because they said you didn’t listen to them … you can do better this time around.

 

Keep in mind that this scenario only applies to scenarios in which the reason for your past breakup being partly your fault was justified. If your exes labeled you as something you truly weren’t, then that’s not your fault. That’s their fault. Likewise, if what they broke up with you for is not a changeable trait (e.g. They broke up with you because you have a large nose), then of course, that’s not a legitimate reason for someone to break up with you … And screw them.

 

But if you did something that you know caused part of the breakups (and it’s changeable), don’t just double down and keep making the same error over and again (a recipe for failure). Instead, improve and do better this time around.

 

  1. Avoid choosing the same type of person again.

 

If past breakups were caused by the other person being untrustworthy, unreliable or perhaps manipulative or self-centered, by all means, don’t choose the same kind of person again.

 

Naturally, this isn’t as easy as it may sound. You need to look for the warning signs that you should have seen in the past. To understand these warning signs, you have to do some thinking about the beginnings of your last relationship. Were there any red flags that you can see now that you couldn’t see then? Sometimes, it helps to ask close friends or relatives if they saw any red flags. Being wise about traits that are ultimately undesirable in your future partner can help you avoid a terrible relationship in the future.

 

  1. Get your ex out of your life.

 

Finally, make sure that you are moving forward without your exes on the periphery. In this age of social media and in the Internet in general, it’s so easy to continually allow people to be in your life who don’t improve it (and in fact, complicate it).

 

But it’s important to remember that you can curate your social sphere, which means that you can choose to delete your exes from social media. You can also stop staying in contact with them and remove yourself from social circles where you might have to see or talk to them.

 

Many people who have recently broken up with someone find this to be a difficult step to take, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You’ve got to move on.

 

Finding Hope

 

Getting over past breakups and a string of terrible exes is not easy. But it is possible.

 

Take some time to examine those past relationships. See where you can improve yourself and your choice in men or women. Then stop looking back.

 

You’re not going that way.