To Be On Top or Not To Be On Top: Advantages and Disadvantages

To Be On Top or Not

 

You’ve heard about all those crazy Kama Sutra and Tantric sex moves. Sure, those can be fun to experiment with. Who doesn’t like a twisty move with lots of challenging maneuvers on a late night?

 

But okay, let’s be honest. How often are you pulling out all the stops with your sex moves? How many times are you really messing around with the one-leg-up-one-leg-down-halfway-on-the-bed-wheelbarrow-kneeling-position? How many times would you rather just go to town in the way that feels best? Good old-fashioned face-to-face, one on the top, one on the bottom sex.

 

That can be pretty darn exciting too, right? Most people go to this tried and true position on a regular basis. Because it works.

 

With that being said, this move still requires one important decision:

 

Who’s on top?

 

Obviously, there are pros and cons to both being on the top and being on the bottom, but how many times have you heard these particulars discussed?

 

If you’re a gal who has a sexual rendezvous coming up (or if you’re just interested in this topic), check out the pros and cons of being on top below. They may help you decide to give “on top” a try … or … they might remind you why you prefer missionary … Regardless, let’s go.

 

The Pros of “Being on Top”

 

  • You control the action.

 

If you’re someone who typically likes to take a leading role in life and in relationships, you may like the idea of being in control during sex. And without a doubt, the person on top has the most control. For women, this can be good.

 

Because women frequently have more trouble orgasming than men, this means that woman on top is most beneficial for her. It allows her to control the action and the movements so that she can get there more easily.

 

  • This position often feels the best anyway.

 

Regardless of how in control you are, for many women, being on top is just better physically because it positions things so that you get the most stimulation in the perfect places. Furthermore, if you need more stimulation—ahem—up front, your partner can help with this but allow you to do the rest of the work

 

  • You’re seen as more adventurous and sexy.

 

If you’re looking to add a little more spice to an otherwise missionary-centric sexual relationship, woman-on-top is the perfect gateway position. It allows you to get creative, show off your body in a sexy way and feel more confident.

 

The Cons of “Being on Top”

 

  • You’re in charge of the action.

 

So obviously … this one goes both ways. Above, it’s a pro because it can feel good to be on top and in control.

 

But also … it can be a lot of responsibility. Many women aren’t into the idea of taking the female superior position. In fact, lots of women would like their male partners to take control, and when you’re on the bottom, you can let him take charge.

 

  • It may not be the most flattering view of you.

 

Now when it comes to sex, if you have a great partner who cares about you (and you should!) everything you do will be flattering.

 

With that being said, if it’s a new relationship and you’re a little shy or perhaps nervous about your body at first, the woman on top position might unfortunately make you even more self-conscious. After all, you’re basically on display when you’re on top.

 

But when you’re on the bottom, you can lay back, and kind gravity will do its job at pulling everything back and away in a flattering light.

 

  • It can get tiring.

 

In other words, you can’t just lay back and relax when you’re up top. Being on the bottom means basically chilling out while the other person does all the work. As stated above, this may be annoying and boring at times, but it’s also quite a lot of work to be on top managing most of the physical movements.

 

The Factors at Play

 

Before closing, let’s revisit one thing: The fact that largely, who goes on top and who goes on bottom will depend on what type of person you are and where you are in your relationship with this guy.

 

Particularly, are you someone who doesn’t mind taking control in your relationship? Have you two tried lots of different positions already? Are you shy about your body? All these questions will influence whether or not you feel comfortable and confident being on top at this point in your relationship.

 

But there’s one piece of advice here. You may not be comfortable being on top right now, or perhaps you never like being up there … but do try to attempt new positions from time to time.

 

Because there’s more to rolling in the sheets than the missionary position. And even trying something as simple as switching the missionary roles can bring a whole new sort of fun to your sex life. That’s what it’s all about.

 

5 Signs You Need to Walk Away From a Dysfunctional Relationship

Dysfunctional relationship

 

Dysfunctional relationships never produce the desired result of love and stability that so many people seek. Unfortunately, there is a proclivity to remain in these dysfunctional unions until the dysfunctionality becomes increasingly tolerable. The problem is that the longer you remain in a dysfunctional relationship, the more dysfunctional it becomes. It is virtually impossible to repair dysfunction from within — primarily due to the fact that the dysfunction is normalized with each passing moment — making it increasingly difficult to recognize.

 

Fortunately, there are a number of signs that are indicative of the need to walk away from a dysfunctional relationship, and acknowledging and acting on these signs can save you a lot of unnecessary strain. Following are five signs that you need to walk away from a dysfunctional relationship.

 

  1. Tedium & Redundancy

 

You can experience this phenomenon in a number of ways. One of the most common occurrences of tedium and redundancy in a dysfunctional relationship will come in the way of unresolved conflict, in which the same argument continues to present itself as an unresolved trigger for hostility and aggression. This is generally a result of a total breakdown in communication and the unwillingness to compromise — a result of selfishness.

 

  1. Perpetual Blame

 

If you find yourself in a situation in which you are always being blamed any time something goes wrong, it is likely that your mate is incapable of personal accountability. When a person has a proclivity to avoid accountability, they will become highly adept at twisting the facts to fit their perspective of reality. This can also lead to bouts of hostility.

 

  1. Bearing Disproportionate Guilt

 

If you find yourself constantly apologizing, especially for things that you have not done, this is not normal, and it is definitely not healthy. If you are always the one who has to suck it up and be the peacemaker, it will wear on you emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. It is only so long that you can continue to be the fall guy in the relationship before it takes its toll on you.

 

  1. Outbursts of Anger

 

While even the most levelheaded person can occasionally lose their temper, this should not be a common occurrence in a relationship. If you find yourself connected to a person who is easily enraged, especially when the level of anger does not correspond with the current situation, this is not only unhealthy, it is potentially dangerous. Unbridled anger is the predecessor to violence — mentally, emotionally and physically. Unfortunately, the progression can be so slow that by the time you detect it, you could already be a victim of domestic violence — don’t wait, leave now.

 

  1. A Depreciation in Self-worth

 

You should not be in a situation in which you actually feel worse about yourself when you are around your partner. Any person that treats you in a manner that causes you to question your worth is toxic to your existence. You must understand that there is more than one type of abuse, and in some ways, mental and emotional abuse can be equally as devastating as physical abuse — with the scars taking much longer to heal.

There are many signs that you are in a dysfunctional relationship that is going nowhere fast. The five signs listed here are strong indicators that it is time for you to move on. Most people wait too long to leave, hoping that things will get better, and they end up suffering far more than they should. Relationships should bring life, joy and satisfaction, not varying levels of stress and strain. Take heed to the signs and act accordingly.

5 Reasons Your Red-Hot Connection With Him Suddenly Went Cold

red hot connection went cold

 

Tell me if this has happened to you before…

 

You meet a guy, you like each other and hit it off right out of the gate.

Then you start dating, sparks start flying – and then he does a 180 on you.

Just when you thought things were going perfectly, your soulmate-to-be is finding every excuse NOT to see you.

He’s either busy with work, or has some “personal stuff” to sort out. Or worse, he’s not offering any excuses at all.

He’s gone incommunicado. Off the grid. Dropped off the face of the planet.

Whatever you want to call it, it sucks and you don’t know what you did or said that made him freak out.

 

Now you’re wondering, “Will every guy I meet seem too sweet at the beginning, only to lose him at the end? Are all my relationships destined to fizzle out and die a quiet death?”

 

That’s why I want to give you the most common factors that make a guy bail on you.

 

But aside from that, I want to go one step further and show you how to keep you from falling into the same situation again.

 

Let’s get into the first reason why guys leave…

 

#1: He got weirded out

 

In a guy’s mind, he’s crossed a very significant line once he’s slept with someone. The whole game changes for him and that puts his mind and heart in a strange place.

Some men don’t adapt too well to this period of transition and he can’t articulate what’s going on in his inner world. That’s why he’d rather just drop out of sight instead of hashing it out with you.

 

#2: He sees commitment differently from you

 

Ok, before you start labeling guys as “commitment-phobes”, you need to understand what this means exactly.

It’s not so much an actual problem with commitment as it is the RATE that your relationship is growing. There’s a possibility that after sleeping together, he FELT you wanted to get SUPER serious right away.

 

(The operative word is “felt”, so it’s not because you actually pushed him into committing.)

 

So it could be just a matter of him misinterpreting your expectations.

 

Here’s something you need to understand about some men: they get skittish when they think there’s a threat to their personal freedom or independence. It’s not that he wants to date every woman out there, but rather retain his sense of individuality in a relationship.

 

He might have thought you wanted the whole nine yards ASAP when in reality you just wanted to take it one step further. Like I said earlier, some guys tend to freak out when changes like this comes along.

 

#3: He has a lot on his plate

 

Men generally aren’t that keen on juggling too many things at once. It takes up a lot of head space and requires a great deal of mental and physical energy for him.

 

So from time to time, he’ll be operating on a certain wavelength to deal with “Mission Critical” stuff from time to time – but only out of necessity.

 

Remember, he’s not intentionally shutting you out of his life. It’s more of him squaring away the things that are stressing him out…like a project at work for example.

 

As a suggestion, you could be supportive when he gets into this mode. Once he’s tackled those obstacles, he can go back to enjoying your connection and be fully present like before.

 

#4: The neediness scared him away

 

Since we’re being honest here, the truth is that some women have issues concerning neediness.

 

For instance, you might want to justify a casual hookup and make it into something more than it is. But you can also push things too quickly even if you’re interested in a serious boyfriend.

 

Like guys, the post-sex period can put you in a weird (or even fragile) emotional state. And some women react to this by pushing for commitment before the time is right.

 

So you have to keep an eye on this sort of thing when it comes up…

 

#5: He needs “Me Time”

 

I know that sounds cliché, but hear me out.

 

With guys, there comes a time when they have to recharge their batteries because they’re feeling depleted. He needs to regain that masculine energy that makes him who he is.

 

In the same situation, women tend to reach out to others to recharge their own batteries. But with men however, they’d rather fly solo.

 

It’s not right or wrong – just different.

 

He’s not trying to prove he’s “man enough” to do it alone. He’s just hardwired to deal with it that way.

 

Trust me, odds are the connection you share with him WILL pull him back to you in good time.

 

Freaking out on him at this point will likely freak him out TOO. So I’d advise you to cool your jets and wait it out.

 

In fact, I’d like you to treat this as the perfect opportunity to reconnect with all the good stuff you have going in your OWN life. Besides, your family, friends, career and hobbies make you the interesting woman that you are.

 

The more you keep in touch with that part of yourself, the better effect it will have on your relationship with your man.

 

Also, the happier you are with your own life – even if he WASN’T in the picture – the quicker he’ll want to come back to you.

 

In fact, that’s the best way to keep that needy voice in your head at bay.

 

But there is one other way to make sure he’ll NEVER pull away no matter what.

 

Most women don’t know that men are actually programmed to obey something I call the “Love Law.” You might even say it’s built in to his very genetic code.

 

This is what compels a guy to stick to his woman even in the face of logic and reasoning. It’s what makes him do all those crazy, romantic things you see in the movies.

 

More importantly, it’s what prevents him from pulling away from his partner.

 

But to trigger this kind of reaction in a man, he needs to experience the “Cupid Effect.” This is based on a basic set of psychological principles that make him feel an intense rush of emotions like clockwork.

 

All guys have this switch in their head – they’re simply waiting for the right woman to flip it. If you want to know more about this straightforward process, check out this free video now.

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