To Be On Top or Not To Be On Top: Advantages and Disadvantages

To Be On Top or Not


You’ve heard about all those crazy Kama Sutra and Tantric sex moves. Sure, those can be fun to experiment with. Who doesn’t like a twisty move with lots of challenging maneuvers on a late night?


But okay, let’s be honest. How often are you pulling out all the stops with your sex moves? How many times are you really messing around with the one-leg-up-one-leg-down-halfway-on-the-bed-wheelbarrow-kneeling-position? How many times would you rather just go to town in the way that feels best? Good old-fashioned face-to-face, one on the top, one on the bottom sex.


That can be pretty darn exciting too, right? Most people go to this tried and true position on a regular basis. Because it works.


With that being said, this move still requires one important decision:


Who’s on top?


Obviously, there are pros and cons to both being on the top and being on the bottom, but how many times have you heard these particulars discussed?


If you’re a gal who has a sexual rendezvous coming up (or if you’re just interested in this topic), check out the pros and cons of being on top below. They may help you decide to give “on top” a try … or … they might remind you why you prefer missionary … Regardless, let’s go.


The Pros of “Being on Top”


  • You control the action.


If you’re someone who typically likes to take a leading role in life and in relationships, you may like the idea of being in control during sex. And without a doubt, the person on top has the most control. For women, this can be good.


Because women frequently have more trouble orgasming than men, this means that woman on top is most beneficial for her. It allows her to control the action and the movements so that she can get there more easily.


  • This position often feels the best anyway.


Regardless of how in control you are, for many women, being on top is just better physically because it positions things so that you get the most stimulation in the perfect places. Furthermore, if you need more stimulation—ahem—up front, your partner can help with this but allow you to do the rest of the work


  • You’re seen as more adventurous and sexy.


If you’re looking to add a little more spice to an otherwise missionary-centric sexual relationship, woman-on-top is the perfect gateway position. It allows you to get creative, show off your body in a sexy way and feel more confident.


The Cons of “Being on Top”


  • You’re in charge of the action.


So obviously … this one goes both ways. Above, it’s a pro because it can feel good to be on top and in control.


But also … it can be a lot of responsibility. Many women aren’t into the idea of taking the female superior position. In fact, lots of women would like their male partners to take control, and when you’re on the bottom, you can let him take charge.


  • It may not be the most flattering view of you.


Now when it comes to sex, if you have a great partner who cares about you (and you should!) everything you do will be flattering.


With that being said, if it’s a new relationship and you’re a little shy or perhaps nervous about your body at first, the woman on top position might unfortunately make you even more self-conscious. After all, you’re basically on display when you’re on top.


But when you’re on the bottom, you can lay back, and kind gravity will do its job at pulling everything back and away in a flattering light.


  • It can get tiring.


In other words, you can’t just lay back and relax when you’re up top. Being on the bottom means basically chilling out while the other person does all the work. As stated above, this may be annoying and boring at times, but it’s also quite a lot of work to be on top managing most of the physical movements.


The Factors at Play


Before closing, let’s revisit one thing: The fact that largely, who goes on top and who goes on bottom will depend on what type of person you are and where you are in your relationship with this guy.


Particularly, are you someone who doesn’t mind taking control in your relationship? Have you two tried lots of different positions already? Are you shy about your body? All these questions will influence whether or not you feel comfortable and confident being on top at this point in your relationship.


But there’s one piece of advice here. You may not be comfortable being on top right now, or perhaps you never like being up there … but do try to attempt new positions from time to time.


Because there’s more to rolling in the sheets than the missionary position. And even trying something as simple as switching the missionary roles can bring a whole new sort of fun to your sex life. That’s what it’s all about.


Ever Wanted to Try Shower Sex? Here’s How to Do It

Ever tried shower sex before?


Shower sex


It seems like a popular move that millions of couples are doing all the time … if you believe what you read in magazines and see on TV. But if you’ve never tried it before, it can be a rather intimidating, er, position (?) to try out at random.


How do you start?


Is soap involved?


What parts should the water be spraying on?


Unlike just hooking your legs around one another in a novel way like the “advanced moves” you see in most sex articles online, this move’s got you tangoing in a wet and soapy little room that (most of the time) is meant for one person and one person only.


So if you’re new to shower sex … first know you’re not alone.


Ok now … where to start?


Shower sex can basically go one of two ways. It might be the hottest sex you’ve had in years, full of new sensations and amazing climaxes.


Or … it might be an awkward attempt at spicing things up that involves someone’s face getting smushed  against cold shower tiles and bruises from a wet and slippery fall.


Of course, we hope it’s the former. But to make sure, here are some tips below that will help make shower sex simple, erotic and fun.


Pro Tips for Shower Sex


Consider your shower before you start this thing.


All showers are different, and yes, some are way better for shower sex than others. If at all possible, choose a big shower with a bench.


If you can’t get something big, that’s okay. But make sure you know what you will and won’t be able to do in there. For example, woman on man’s lap is a great position when you have a bench, but don’t attempt it on the skinny edge of a tub.


Start by undressing each other in the bathroom.


This one’s up to you, but a lot of couples find it’s easier to start with clothes on in the bathroom, then undress each other and hop in with the water on. This way, you don’t have to transition from wherever you are in the house to the bathroom.


Of course, this wouldn’t be the end of the world, but keeping things going in a steady stream of sexual tension can be key to great for reaching amazing climaxes.


Keep the water lukewarm.


You’re first tendency may be to crank up the heat and steam up the mirrors. And for a while that might be okay, but it’s a much better idea to keep things lukewarm. Here’s why.


Lukewarm water will keep the experience exciting. It will make both your nipples hard, and slightly cooler water will also wake you up mentally and keep you active for more.


If you’re not sure what to do at first, just do what you normally would do in the shower …


As you move into the tub or shower area, figuring out what position you want to start with can be a little bit of a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be. Of course, you can always keep on going with the kissing.


But you can also just get to washin! That’s right. The great thing about showering is that it’s already super sensual. There’s no need to jazz anything up because you are literally touching yourself and slathering yourself with wet stuff. Start by doing yourself. Then move to your partner …


Use soap to your advantage.


Soap is like lube. It’s slimy and soft on your body, and it can help you a whole lot while you’re in the shower, so don’t go without it. Use it to wash yourself and your partner … everywhere.


As a side note, using regular lube in the shower is a possibility, but do be extremely careful if and when it runs to the bottom of the tub or drain area as it can be super easy to slip on. Soap can too, so pay attention to where you step.


Keep your, ahem, area, out of the stream of water.


Natural lubrication is important for any type of sex, but having the shower stream running right on your crotch areas will wash away that lubrication. Obviously, pretty much every part of you is going to get at least a little wet, but you should try to keep the shower stream at aimed at chest or stomach level. Of course, you should also keep it directly away from your faces. And remember, this may take some maneuvering and adjusting. Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it.


Be careful not to slip. No, seriously.


Slipping is a serious worry when having shower sex. If you can manage it, anti-slip strips in the bottom of your shower are a great idea.


Additionally, always keep four on the floor. Feet, that is. Even though him holding her entirely off the ground or him with one leg on the edge of the tub while doing it from behind may seem like a great idea at the time, things could end badly, and it will happen in just a few seconds. Safety first!


Don’t get stressed about it going “perfectly.”


Ok last thing: Don’t freak out if things don’t go perfectly. Especially the first time.


This should be a fun experience and not scary or nerve-wrecking. If you get soap in your eyes, wash it out and keep going. If the first few positions you try aren’t sensual … or even comfortable … try again!


It’s all about trying something new and doing it together. Go into it with a sense of adventure, and whatever happens you’ll have a good time.


3 Ways to Make “The Big O” Even Better While Also Amplifying Intimacy



Sex with your partner should be as good as possible the whole way through, but let’s face it … we’re all headed somewhere. And that somewhere starts with a big, fat O.




Ok, so that’s a given. But did you know that if you want to intensify your orgasms and make them even better, it’s actually not about the moment of the “Big O” itself?


Nope, it’s all about the other stuff.


More specifically, it’s about prolonging foreplay. How do you do this? Easy. Below, you’re going to find the best three ways to turn that usual dinky ‘o’ into a big ‘ole ‘O’ that will be extremely difficult to forget.


Not only will these strategies help you feel amazing, they’ll bring your lovemaking to a whole new level and make you and your honey even closer.


Let’s get started!


  1. Make foreplay last … and make it fun.


You need your foreplay to last for both of you. Forget that old saying that women love long foreplay and men don’t. Men can love it too, but you two just have to know what you’re doing.


Why is prolonged foreplay so vital to achieving an amazing orgasm? Think about it. It’s all about stretching out the anticipation. For example, if you consider what’s so exciting about some big event happening … the exciting part is the part leading up to the event. And when there’s lots of buildup and anticipation, things can get pretty intense!


So how to build things up? How to stretch them out?


Start by going slow. This might seem simple, but it’s actually hard—especially when you’re really turned on and ready to go.


You’ve got to learn how to play with your partner. And do some exploring too.


For example, try going down on them. And when you do, give them slow kisses as you move. Use your hands all over their body. Move in different positions. Use your mouth.


  1. Get creative with your techniques … and locations … at the same time.


Ok, obviously getting into a new position or trying a new technique is a great way to jazz things up. But you should also try to combine these new techniques and positions with new locations. In fact, it’s all about the combining. Really, think of how many more combinations of moves and positions you can do if you also change up locations, outfits, mood, time of day, etc.


One example of this might be heading outside for the day. Ever had sex outside? We didn’t think so.


But why not? All you have to do is pack a picnic lunch and go somewhere private. Then start getting into it. The excitement of being somewhere new and maybe even the possibility of someone seeing could be extremely useful for getting you two turned on.


  1. Put your game face on.


If you’re not already playing games with your partner, you should be! Remember, you have to stay creative and always be thinking about new ways to spice things up within your sex life. This is vital to maintaining a solid relationship.


Naturally, the same old routine gets old, and bringing new ideas to the table is no one else’s job but yours. Both of you! So it’s important to consider implementing some alluring and fun sex games—as long as you’re both comfortable with them and they’re tasteful.


These games will seriously intensify the length and quality of your orgasms. One of the best things about sex games is that it automatically makes foreplay longer. Think about it: As you talk about which game to play, decide on “rules” and discuss how you’re going to go about things … you naturally start getting turned on.


Sex games are also awesome because they help you get out of your comfort zone. If you are usually just trying to think of new positions and games by yourself … you might feel intimidated or nervous about trying something new. With a game that has rules, you can rest assured you’ll feel comfortable because you’ll just be doing what the game tells you to.


Some games may use a pair of dice, a deck of cards, or even some props (your bodies can also be the props…!). And all and all, it’s just a great way to get the juices flowing and prolong the great big O.


So. Are you ready? If you feel prepared to plunge in head first and begin making that foreplay longer and more intense … you’re already well on your way to some amazing O sensations. Trust us.


But, there’s something else you need to know.


Playing games, using creative locations and techniques, and stretching out the foreplay can help make your big O great … That’s for sure. But there’s another thing you need to know: It’s a natural method that can also do wonders for you.  And when we say wonders we mean wonders …


We’re talking vaginal orgasms.


If you use this unique program called Unlock Your Orgasms, you’ll realize just what an amazing, never-felt-before-orgasm actually feels like. Because this program will allow you to have incredible vaginal orgasms every time you have sex.


You’re wondering if it’s possible. And we’re here to tell you that It. Definitely. Is. Possible.


And it feels amazing.


So sign up today and see how it can change your sex life. If you’ve been down in the dumps because of a lackluster sex life … We get it. But this is exactly what you need.


Unlock your orgasm with Unlock Your Orgasms!


You’ll be wondering how you’ve been missing this feeling for all these years …