Should You Still Go After “The One That Got Away”?

It doesn’t matter how old you are. If you’ve been in the dating game for at least a few years, everyone has: The One That Got Away.

 

the one that got away

 

Was it a relationship that ended because you were just too young, too career-oriented, or didn’t realize what you had? Or perhaps distance kept you apart, or you met this person while you were still dating someone else. Maybe you only met once and had a sole night of sparks and passion and perfect chemistry … but then you never saw them again.

 

No matter what exactly happened, it’s a classic case of lost romance, and it can keep you lying awake in bed at night … trying to figure out if this person was a figment of your imagination … or the person you were truly meant to be with.

 

If you are actually considering this move—to go after him or her, track them down, and inevitably confess your love—you’ve got some things to consider before you make the leap. These tips will help you make this big decision … or decide not to.

 

First, What Do You Know?

 

Before you head out to get this guy: what are the facts? How did you meet? How long did you know him? What is he really like? Does he have a sordid past, a solid job, a home? Is he dating someone else? Do you still talk?

 

It’s important to sit down and assess the answers to these questions, because if you don’t, you could be heading into something you’re not prepared for. We often have a fantasy in our minds about “the one who got away.” Deciding to go after this person is a huge decision, and if it’s going to be just chasing a fantasy, you might want to take a step back and realize you’re better off moving on.

 

On the other hand, if you come to the same longing conclusion … that this person is The One … doing something about it may be the riskiest and most rewarding thing you’ll ever do.

 

Don’t Do Your (Current) Partner Wrong

 

Another important tip to remember is not to do your current partner wrong. If you are single, don’t worry about this piece of advice, but if you are seeing someone right now (even if it’s not extremely serious), you need to keep their feelings in mind.

 

Just the fact that you are thinking about this person who got away in your past should be a red flag that maybe the relationship you’re in right now is not the right one for you. So you might want to part ways regardless of what you do. That isn’t to say that our minds won’t just wander sometimes and later, we can realize we need to come back to the present and be thankful and grateful for what we have right in front of us. As the song says, “love the one you’re with.”

 

Butagain, if you know that this person from your past is truly the one for you, you need to make a move with a good conscience. And that will mean breaking it off with your current partner. You should not go after someone else while you’re still in your relationship. Going after this other person and thinking “oh, if it doesn’t actually work out with them, I still have my current partner” is not a kind thing to do.

 

If You’re Going to Do This … Prepare Yourself

 

Ok. If you’re still with us and you do indeed want to find this person from your past and confront them with either a testing of the waters for their mutual affection or an upfront revelation of your own love for them, you need to prepare and protect yourself before you make the move.

 

First, if you haven’t talked to this person in a long time, it could be revealed to you that they are in a relationship or even in a relationship with a family.

 

Similarly, they may have completely changed! When you get your hopes up a lot before endeavoring to do something huge like this, you need to prepare yourself for a possible letdown. You need to be ready for what may come.

 

Make Your Move the Right Way

 

You don’t want to be the crazy ex who shows up out of nowhere and blurts their love out in front of a church or an entire room of people.

 

Not cool.

 

The way to get this guy or girl back is … with texting.

 

Texting!?

 

You read that right.

 

Knowing what to say in the perfect texts to him or her can unlock their heart in ways you never knew possible.

 

For instance, did you know that men need visual cues in order to truly fall in love with someone? On the other hand, women unconsciously desire imaginative ideas of their future. Give them these and they’ll be putty in your hands.

 

To get you started, try the Text Your Ex Back program. It’s quick and easy and extremely informative about exactly what you need to say to your ex. You are only a few texts away from seeing if this person from your past is really meant for you. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. True love could be just around the corner.

3 Signs That Your Ex Secretly Wants You Back

3 Signs That Your Ex Secretly Wants You Back

by Michael Fiore

3 signs your ex secretly wants you back

 

OK, one of the biggest questions I get all the time is about getting your EX boy/girlfriend or EX husband/wife back.

 

And over the years I’ve discovered 3 almost-crazy signals that let you know if you have any chance whatsoever of getting your ex back . . .

Or if you should move on, lick your wounds and never, ever look back.

 

What are the signs?

The first sign is if they’re still ANGRY at you even if it’s been a while since you broke up.

See, I’ve got a saying. It goes like this: “Hate isn’t the opposite of love, apathy is.”

(OK, I’m sure plenty of other people have said that one too.)

If your ex is MAD at you, still yells at you or even says horrible things about you to people it means they’re still “emotionally invested” in some way.

That doesn’t mean you SHOULD get back together, but it does mean there’s EMOTION there.

That also doesn’t mean that because they’re acting out angrily, they’re doing it because they want to be back with you.  They really may just be angry.  That’s why you have to look for more signs as well.  Speaking of which, let’s get to sign number two!

 

The 2ND SIGN is that they get UPSET if you go “No contact” on them.

Actually, a lot of people are shocked at how powerful “No contact” can actually be and how their exes tie themselves into knots as soon as you stop being at their beck and call.  Go figure, right?  You’d be surprised by how people react when their ego is on the line.

Beyond that, Cinderella (not the glass slipper version, rather, the 80s hair god band) got it right – “Don’t Know What You Got (‘Til It’s Gone).  Sometimes, making yourself very scarce shakes a lover awake and opens their eyes to what they may be losing – YOU.

This is why the ’30 day no contact rule’ is a cornerstone of my best-selling Text Your Ex Back program.  A good dose of “space” usually gives not only your partner more clarity regarding your relationship but more importantly, it gives you much needed time to wipe away the relationship fog in your brain so that you can make decisions more clearly.   

 

And the third sign is kind of weird and maybe even a little dangerous.

The third sign is if the ex seemed to “Move on” REALLY quickly after the breakup, dating or getting a “boy/girlfriend” within a few weeks of when your relationship ended.

In a lot of cases “moving on” like that (without giving time to mourn a relationship properly) doesn’t define whether they’re “over you,” or not.  What it definitely means is that there’s a giant hole in their life and their heart where you used to be and they’re looking for ANYBODY to fill it.

Of course knowing if you have a CHANCE to get them back doesn’t tell you EXACTLY how to get them back . . .

 

Which is why I want you to go watch this video which I think will astonish you . . .

 

TextYourExBack
It shows you how to use tiny little text messages to entice your ex into starting over again . . .

 

TextYourExBack
This is powerful stuff and you should be really careful to only use it if you ACTUALLY want your ex back.

Best,

Mike

Article source: Digital Romance

Has Your Breakup Made You a Love Psychopath?

Love Psychopath

Martin asks,

“Mike, I need your help, man. My girlfriend and I broke up a couple weeks ago. She doesn’t know I still have access to her phone records, but I do. And she’s been making phone calls to somebody out of state. The other day they talked for like 40 minutes. I don’t want to keep her from dating but I feel like if I don’t do something she might fall for this other person. What do I do?”

Hey Martin,

A while ago I read a book calledThe Psychopath Test.” It’s about how 1% of everybody out there is a psychopath who has absolutely no empathy (a lot of really successful business people are actually psychopaths.)

Anyway, there’s a bit in the book where the author says “Right about now you’re probably wondering if YOU are psychopath.”

And when I read that, I nodded my head up and down because I was.

And then he said . . .

Well, if you’re wondering if you’re a psychopath, it means you’re not. Real psychopaths never even consider the idea that there’s something off or wrong about them.

Which was a relief.

Anyway, I’m not saying you’re a psychopath, but you are a LOVE psychopath right now.

And you’re not alone.

Every day I get emails from men and women saying they dug through their ex’s mail, snooped on their Facebook profile, “just happened” to look through their text messages or (and this is awful) created a fake online dating profile and flirted with their ex online.

And . . . huh . . . that’s love psychopath behavior.

Listen: I know, the breakup is hard. And we ALL act crazy when our heart is broken and we’re CRAVING that person more than anything.

But your ex DESERVES her privacy. And going through her phone records (or emails, or anything else) isn’t romantic or noble or any of the other lies you might tell yourself.

So what do you do instead?

Well, in “TextYourExBack” I say:

“The only way to get your ex back is to let them go first.”

And that’s 100% true. For you to have any chance at all of having a great relationship with that girl or guy again, you have to accept that the relationship you had is over and start from scratch to create something great that actually works.

And that means you have to escape this “fear zone” you’re living in. Yes, it’s possible she’s talking to somebody out of state who’s got great hair and six pack abs and genitals that do tricks.

But it’s also possible it’s just her crazy cousin who follows Phish and sells beads for a living.

Here’s what I recommend:

1. Get her phone records transferred to her TODAY.

2. If you’ve got any passwords of hers or anything like that LOSE THEM.

3. Go watch the video  TextYourExBack and decide if the program is for you .

 

About Michael Fiore

Since early 2010, Michael’s been teaching men and women around the world how to use simple digital tools to dramatically improve their relationships.