Should I take my chances on a long distance relationship?

Lip Service Question

I’ve been talking to this guy on the phone for 7 months now, we’ve gotten really close and have never met. Some people are saying we shouldn’t meet because he’s in a different state and if we work out I’ll have to move and other people are telling me to go for it! I guess I’m torn I really want to see him and spend a weekend with him because if I don’t and lose him I’ll always wonder “what if”. ~Anonymous

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31 comments

  1. As someone who is in love with a man who lives 1700 miles away and also someone who has lived a full life you must follow your heart. Meet him, if it is meant to be you’ll know from that first meeting. Life is for living, not for regrets. Do it, for you and for him. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Listen to your heart, not your friends or family. You cannot live your life for them unless you want regrets. Good luck.

  2. YES – Do take a chance. Life is too short – both for regrets and to wonder. So if you meet and you don’t ‘click’ you were friends online, and at least you know. However, should there be sparks, you can thank me later when you decide to have howling monkey sexy madness. 🙂 Hugs – you will make the best choice for you.

  3. I think you need to go for it, it may work out , it may not but you always regret the things you didn’t do much more. I am in a LDR with an amazing man who lives over 3000 miles away, and although its hard we make it work for us, even though it can be months between visits. Oh and in our case he is actually the one moving here, its a work in progress, so bear in mind that its not always down to the girl to move. Nobody but you can tell you how you feel about this man, but if you do go ahead, good luck and I hope that you are as glad that you took your chance as I am to have taken mine

  4. I am in the same situation, we met about 3 months ago when he was visiting my town, we didn’t date but exchanged numbers. I went to see him 2 1/2 weeks ago and spent the weekend with him, we had a great time . together We don’t know where is going to lead but we are taking it day by day. I don’y know when I will see him again since my work schedule is very demanding right now and so is his. I say GO FOR IT because you only live once!

  5. Same here – he lives 771 miles away. Been talking/texting for a month, met this past weekend & we’re perfect together. Neither one of us wanted me to go home. I prayed & prayed – everything said stay, but I’m too responsible, I had to go.(Many mishaps made 12 hr drive a 27 hr drive). Now I’m home & miss him so much – my life just isn’t right. My family won’t talk to me because I went down there (need to get my head outta my ass), they don’t understand/think I’m crazy/don’t care – and that’s why I came home for them & my cat (she missed me). He works all week & coaches on weekends. Unfortunately, I’ve had a broken ankle since May, went to my doctor yeterday to get cast off, and instead, it’s worse! – may have to have surgery again. So I am pretty much grounded for awhile, where I don’t want to be. Nothing here for me. I really just want to pick up and go back . . . but do I uproot my entire life? Idk. So confused…

  6. Go for it …I just married the love of my life …we lived 1500 miles apart when we started our relationship…he flew to me twice..I flew to him …a year ago I packed my things in my car and drove the entire way so we could live together…follow your heart,,,if it feels right …do it !

  7. TO KAT — I’m of the belief that if God/The Universe/Angel Guides put roadblocks in your way, they are helping you stay away from something. I’m not saying a little one here or there just to challenge your determination, but if you’ve faced with a lot, it’s obvious they’re trying to keep you from it for a reason.

    To the original writer of the question….I’d like to know what you decide! I’m in a similar situation, but this is overseas. Is there any point when neither one wants to leave their country?

    1. I’ll definitely keep you posted 🙂 if all goes right i should be going in the 29th! Hopefully I have enough money for it to get the rental! Mine isn’t overseas were about 5 hours away from each other.. Good luck with ur man 😀

    2. So. I’m having surgery on Monday….I am stuck for 6 weeks. I am just sick about it. We talk & text with what we want to be able to do, but can’t. So. . .was God trying to keep me in Alabama or is he keeping me at home? I am too insecure & have been screwed over too much to trust easily . . . & that doesn’t bode well with a long-distance relationship.

    3. I am in a LDR where one of us lives in Ireland and the other in Canada. Given the huge distance involved one of the things that came up pretty early on was how we would resolve the long distance part. In our case it was a little different as both of us were ok with moving at least in theory, however for practical reasons it is better for him to move here so that is what is happening, and although its a complicated process we are working through it. If neither of you is willing to move, I hate to say it but you are just storing up heartbreak and trouble for yourselves.

  8. I’m having a long distance relationship. I love it, I’m going to spend two weeks with him. If it works out. I plan on keeping my home in the east. Stay in the summer at my home. He’s in the deep south. Stay there in the winter. That’s what I plan to do. Hope I helped.

  9. I recently just started seeing someone online and on the phone for the past Month only. He lives in Fl. I live in NJ. He now went back to his Ex-wife. After all we talked about, getting together. It seemed as we connected so well, yet it was all over in a day. So, I would say forget about it, of course. You never know what goes on in his life…you really don’t. I trusted him, yet it turned out conveniently right for him. Who knows he might have been sincere. That’s what I thought, but now I really wonder. I’m left alone holding on to just memories…good thing it wasn’t longer than a month. I really care about him too. So think about that one. Then again every situation is unique. Just don’t go over head. Try your best to make sure all is good on his end. You play at your own risk, go in that way. It may work for you. Good luck…I wish you love. Ruthie

    1. I completely see ur point.. I would be lying if i said it didn’t atleast cross my mind if he was being completely honest in his part.. I’m really sorry about ur situation that’s sad.. We’ve been talking everyday for 7 months and I would be heartbroken.

  10. All of you have given me great advice!!! I definitely will keep u posted if all goes right (money wise) i will be visiting him on the 29th of this month 😉 I’m nervous and u have butterflies but i know if I don’t go I’ll never forgive myself. Its been 7 months and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before he’s a good man 🙂

    1. I know that butterfly feeling too well, the first time I got on a plane to meet my guy I was really nervous but at the same time it just felt right and it still does today

      1. I know that butterfly feeling too well, the first time I got on a plane to meet my guy I was really nervous but at the same time it just felt right and it still does today. Just one thing be smart and be careful, make sure someone knows where you are and expects to hear from you that all is okay, and have enough money for somewhere to stay just in case things don’t turn out like you hope

        1. Are u still with ur guy?
          Yea definitely my mom knows and all my close friends know where I’m going i have family where he lives so I’m actually staying with them 😀 i hope it goes as planned. I’m starting to get nervous but I’m excited also!

          1. yes we are still very much together despite being 3000 miles apart. It has been over a year since that visit, and I have never been happier about a decision, even though it seemed scary at the time. I am glad that you are being safe, because that’s important but I hope that you have a fantastic time and that the reality in person is as amazing as you hope it will be

  11. I’ve had a long distant relationship for 9 1/2 months now and yes, it’s hard, but soooo worth it! You only live once. God puts people in your life for a reason. Go find out what the reason is for this relationship.

    1. You’re sweet and you’re absolutely right! Wow 9 months that’s awesome! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one 🙂

  12. I’ve been reading some of the articals on long distance relationships. The furthest I seen was 1700 miles. I’ve been doing this with a woman from Ghana Africa. We both have been texting back and forth and chatting on yahoo. Only in 2001 I was in a terrible motorcycle accident had gotten a terrible brain injury from it. I’ve sent money by western union in hopes in seeing her. Only all had failed. My heart is aying to persew it. My mind doesn’t. The more I put my mind into it. It says yes. Only it also says no. I’m looking for opinions from a neutral person.

    1. Wow I’m sorry about ur accident I’m all about pursuing things especially if u feel it in ur heart but if u are sending her money and she’s still not coming than there is a problem! Just be careful

  13. RED FLAG……..dude you are being scammed big time…she’s a fake and never coming…they are actors going after thousand of vulnerable folks…they play you hard and have fake pictures and stories….and Ladies….
    and men do this to women too… google her.. her email see if she comes up on scam sites. WARNING WARNING…BEEN THERE DONE THAT…STOP ALL COMUNICATION….

  14. Look, I am a man who has gone through this. I met my love after 15 months of talking over phone. We met on orkut from different states. Now we are happy and even thinking of marriage in a couple of years. So you can meet him and see how things go, don’t have sex the first time and if u happen to have sex do use protection. Let him come near. Feel each other. Go out often. Dine out. Go shopping (plz pay your own bill). Give it some time and see it might turn out to be the best ever relationship for both of you. God Bless You Two.

  15. if oyu havent already gone and met with him , DO IT. dont let it be something one day you wonder about. I met a great woman a year and a half ago and we talked for 3 mon. and had so much in common so we decided to meet and it’s a decision I’ll never regret. it’s hard because she is 550 miles away and we get together about every 4-6 weeks. I either go there or her here or we meet in the middle..but I’ll tell you I truly believe she is my soulmate and we were meant to meet.
    so take a chance and maybe you will find your ONE true love because I think I found mine

  16. I am going thru the same thing. We have got really close. I dont want to lose him but I want it to be right. I understand completely

  17. Go for it! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Take chances and live your life to the fullest with no regrets. There is no promise of tomorrow…wouldn’t you rather live your life and tell the stories about the adventures you took, then say you shoulda, coulda, woulda, taken more risks if you would have just listened to your heart?

  18. Following.my.heart:
    Would love to hear how things went. I was in the same situation, but I took the chance. I was careful where I met him. Each of us had relationship baggage to get rid of. But we saw each other when we could now for over 2 years. All the struggles we went through has been worth every moment, and we are planning to combine households. We are down to getting the job situation straight.
    I love this man more than anything. He is a good man. Like me, he has had some bad relationship issues. It helps is value each other even more…to finally find someone willing to work together and share everything. We both have rid ourselves of the “taproots” that were sucking the living out of life.
    Things are grand, and I hope we hear that your visit went well.

  19. I found my queen 5400 miles away and after a few months we couldn’t let an hour pass without talking and created a bond that was stronger than and physical relationship I’d had…We made decision to meet and spend some time together, she came here for 20 days and we have been together going on 2 years now.
    We are getting married this summer!!
    The decision is complicated and you need to look at it from all angles and understand you may fall in love but know long distance relationships are hard and take finesse unlike one where you are together all the time.
    We went for it and we made it work!!

  20. Love is the BEST positive emotion. If you have it with him, go for it…if you want to have it go for it. If that relationship is just for kicks put a magazine in your bathroom.