Don’t get me wrong, compromising in a relationship is wonderful and necessary. But too often folks compromise to the lowest common denominator and nobody ends up happy.
For instance, you’re cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie . . .
He wants to watch Die Hard (because it’s awesome)
She wants to watch The Notebook (because it’s also awesome.)
After 20 minutes of back and forth looking for something you both like, you end up watching a weird documentary on guys who love My Little Pony and nobody’s happy. (The My Little Pony documentary is actually pretty fascinating and features that guy who played Q on Star Trek.)
(Over-compromising in the bedroom is particularly noxious and deadly to happy love and has bought houses for marriage counselors.)
#6: Misunderstanding Love
“But if you LOVE me, you’ll do ANYTHING for me, right?”
Love is a weird concept.
Actually, up until the middle ages when guys in silly hats started writing poems about heaving bosoms and plays about teenagers committing suicide because their families wouldn’t let them be together, the whole concept of Romantic Love didn’t even really exist.
And modern science has actually been able to pinpoint EXACTLY what happens in the human brain to make us feel that overwhelming, ravenous desire for a person where a halo blazes above their head and you just want to consume their skin.
That initial overwhelming love is easy.
And the big sin here is thinking it’s going to be easy forever.
The fact is, Love is work.
And love is a choice.
It shouldn’t be work all the time (if it is, get out.)
But you need to wake up every day and DECIDE that you love the person next to you (warts and all.)
And finally . . .
To be successful in love, you need to be your partner’s biggest cheerleader, their port of safety and the one person who will always forgive them for annoying you and pissing you off.
Which is HARD.
For most people, resentment builds up over months and years and decades until you can’t even look at the person you used to love without bile and angst and contempt.
The key to being able to actually be happy with somebody is to accept them for who they are, forgive them for not being who you want them to be and celebrating their flaws as much as you do their merits.
So that’s our 7 Deadly Sins (though I’m sure I could come up with at least 30 more.)
What are YOUR Deadly Love Sins?
What sins are YOU guilty of that you want to change?
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Blunt, funny and always honest, Michael Fiore is an internationally known expert on how to have great relationships in the modern world. In 2011, Michael appeared on “The Rachael Ray” show with his popular Text The Romance Back Program (Rachael said he gave her “chills”).
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Michael lives in Seattle, WA with his (amazing) wife and is currently hard at work on his next shocking, straightforward and really, really useful program.
Source: Digital Romance Inc.