If you’ve ever been scared you were a bad kisser, you’re not alone. And actually, if you’ve indeed questioned your abilities in this department, you’re on the right track love-wise.
In other words, questioning your kissing is good.
That’s because kissing is one of THE most important parts of romance. It’s one of our most primal behaviors, and doing it with someone can help tell us whether or not we’re macking on someone we should mate with for life … or just a dud.
So don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s just 15-and 16-year-olds that should be nervous about getting it wrong.
Most people have these thoughts at least once in a relationship:
- Am I sloppy?
- How’s my breath?
- Are these sucking sounds … normal?
- Eyes open is creepy … right?
But the question remains: How do you know if you’re getting it right?
It all starts with defining your style. Most kissing styles have trademark “characteristics.” And as a woman, once you know your style, you can determine what men are thinking about you while you’re getting’ down.
Defining Your Kissing Style
(And Whether It’s Working for You … Or Not)
Check out these kissing styles that most women end up falling into at one point or another. We’ll also explain some qualities of these styles and most importantly … what each one says to a man.
- Your style: Aggressive
Characterized by: Biting his upper or lower lip, licking, lots of spit, grabbing him roughly or pushing him down
What it says to him about you: Though many women assume that an aggressive style of kissing is appealing to men, this isn’t necessarily always so. Perhaps after you’ve been dating a while, revving things up with a more intense technique can be satisfying, but at first … men like a more feminine, soft approach. In other words, he’s going to think you’re a bit of an animal if you’re aggressive right out of the gate.
- Your style: Demure
Characterized by: Always being the first to pull away, very light pressure, only kissing in closed-mouth sessions (never using tongue)
What it says to him about you: No one likes to throw the word “prude” around with judgment, but … that might just be what he’s thinking here. Kissing is innately an intimate affair. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. So you’re simply not going to get away with short pecks and have a natural, red-blooded man be super into it and satisfied. He’s going to feel like he’s doing all the work, and that gets old for him.
- Your style: Giggly
Characterized by: Lots of intermittent smiling and “cutesy” sounds, short quick pecks, eyes open sometimes
What it says to him about you: Unfortunately, he’s going to think of you as a little too young. Giggling, smiling cutely, and being altogether shy is going to make him feel like he’s with an 18-year-old in the back seat of his dad’s car. Not exactly what you should be going for. You’re a woman, and you should act like a woman. A sexual woman’s what he wants.
- Your style: Sensual
Characterized by: Pressing hard against him, lots of tongue, eyes always closed, being real handsy all over the body
What it says to him about you: The word “sensual” will naturally make you think “thumbs up!” right? And while that’s true to an extent … you’ll also want to keep in mind that if you’ve just started dating, a deep and intimate makeout sesh isn’t going to be your best idea. It’s a bit too … serious. Instead, you might want to consider a more subtle approach when you first start making out. Otherwise, you’ll scare him off.
How to Kiss: Getting It Perfect
Getting your kissing down perfect can be tough. There are so many factors at play, after all: Lips, spit, tongue, pressure, eyes, hands … So here are some tips to get you started.
- Do what feels right.
You really care for this guy, right? Well, then go to town, and let your mind and body take over. In other words, stop thinking so much. It’s screwing you up.
- Pay attention to your current “dating timeline.”
How you kiss with a man should rest largely on where you two are in your dating timeline. In other words, if you’re just starting to get intimate (first kiss, first time touching), don’t take things to the immediate next level by being super handsy and sensual. This is too big of a leap. Take things slower. You can always add in some more aggressive kissing down the line.
- Take advice from the pros.
Consider getting some practical advice from “How To Kiss a Man To Make Him Fall In Love.” This is a program that outlines exactly how you can make a man fall in love with you and have overwhelming passion and desire for you … with just your kiss. There is one awesome 5-step technique in there that is especially important. It can truly make or break it with the man of your dreams.
Finally, never underestimate the importance of being a great kisser. And put some effort into it! Trust us … he’ll notice right away because not all women do this. And it can make all the difference in your future relationship.