You deserve respect and honesty and so does everyone else who gives the same.
Learn to deal with the fact that you are not a perfect person but you are a person that deserves respect and honesty.
~ Pandora Poikilos
Here is a trap that people fall into all too often – we think that because we have not been absolutely flawless, we deserve less than stellar treatment. No, I’m not trying to excuse horrible behavior. We can’t be selfish and self-serving all the time and then just chalk it up to a mistake, say we’re sorry and then demand that others simply accept our behavior or apology and just let it go. It really doesn’t work that way. We’ve all heard the phrase “To get respect, you have to give respect”. I adhere to this philosophy. Now that I really think about it, I can’t say that I’m entirely disrespectful to those who do not treat me with respect – honestly, most of the time I just ignore them and walk away. I really can’t be bothered to engage at their level. However, everyone has their limits and if struck enough times, I will strike back. Is that the best way to handle the situation? Probably not but alas, I, too, am human. A girl’s got to stand up for herself at some point, right? Right! But oy! I’m really beginning to digress here so let’s get back to the issue at hand.
People who are respected and command the gift of honesty from others are of value, and we have to understand that we don’t have to be perfect in order to be of value. When we build a relationship with someone and become vulnerable by exposing our true selves, it is inevitable that imperfections will spill through. What, and more importantly who, is perfect anyway? By any society’s social standards and norms, no one is perfect. It’s not even possible. (Can we say Stepford? Eek!) Yet, most of us, despite being inherently good, still will not forgive our imperfections. What follows is a gradual (or swift) devaluation of who we are and how we see ourselves in comparison to others. Let’s be honest here – in most cases, we are far more forgiving of imperfections in others than we are in ourselves and that can really wreak havoc with our self-esteem. The worse we feel about ourselves, the less we think we deserve, and the more we allow others to treat us badly. And yes, the more we allow others to treat us badly, the worse we feel about ourselves. It’s all a vicious cycle, isn’t it?
Let’s get real and cut this ugly demon off at the head, shall we? Your imperfections are no more special than anyone else’s, sorry to say. Stop telling yourself that they are. Stop beating yourself up. You deserve to be treated with love, kindness, respect, and honesty. If you don’t believe you are worth that much, why should anyone else? If you don’t, you leave the door open for those who prey on the poor self-esteem of others, and there are many who do. You simply deserve better. Why not choose to believe that? ~Gia